Found a mobile phone in h's bag

[MilkMonitor]

So, h has given up smoking. He came home last night reeking of fags on his breath and hands. I told him he smelled and asked if he'd been smoking. He said no and said he'd been talking to colleagues outside his building who smoke. Sounded like a 1980's teen (me!) saying he'd been sitting on the top deck of the bus to me but I left it. He was so weary so I made him a cup of tea whilst he got ready for bed.

I woke up at 2am with him draped over me, still stinking of cigarettes. So, I got up and looked in his work bag. No fags but a tiny mobile phone was there. Pin locked. It's a tiny cheap Nokia. H is a strictly iPhone kind of guy.

Now, I had a total burst of panic especially after everything I've read about on MN about spare phones being used to conduct extra marital affairs.

I got back into to bed and asked h about it. I woke him up. He said he found it next to his car at the station car park and he would hand it in to lost property on Monday. I said I would do it and he said we would both do it. I asked why he wanted to do it and he said so he could tell them where he found it.

Now, I can't check the phone because it's pin locked. Does it all sound rum to you? I don't know what to think. He couldn't go back to sleep but wasn't angry about it like he normally would be. Neither could I so I started reading the paper on my iPhone. He kept asking me what I was doing etc. He did say it was typical of my negative brain to assume the worst and I replied that when confronted with unusual evidence, I had merely asked him albeit at 2am!

Am I being a berk?

OP, I have read several of your other threads and I think this phone is his and that he is lying to you. Re-read your own threads. This is too much of a coincidence.

Everyone knows that when they lose their phone, they dial the number so that if someone has it they can talk to them. Everyone knows that. Yet this phone has remained silent.

I wouldn't trust your husband as far as I could throw him, to be honest.

Milk, open the phone and check the texts.

There is also a Nokia spy phone going on eBay for about £20.

As to Kayzr, well, how nice for you. I used to think that once. In fact, I lived with an affair for a very long time, simply on the basis that when I asked the person who I loved, with whom we had gone through so much, who I thought was my friend, whether there was somebody else he said 'no', his wierd behaviour was because he was depressed and unhappy. And he had gone further than your dear partner in the commitment stakes, he had MARRIED me which means making vows in church/promises before his community and signing a legal contract. So, boogaloo. You aren't immune from anything, kiddo.

So who is the stupid one here? You for trusting, or me for trusting? Self-satisfied posts like yours are fucking irritating to those of us who have had their souls ripped apart and who USED to think what you do: I love him/he loves me/he would never.

Abit, that was a strangely unsympathetic post you are referring too

she isn't usually like that

Has there been any news on this?

Just read massages and thought I could be of assistance as I know a lot about phones (used to work for CFW). If someone looses phone they typically make a few calls to see if someone picks up and failling that our advice at CWH was to put a lock on the phone and on the SIM card. This way no one can use the phone or the SIM. Taking phone to market stall won't help - they say they unlock phones but this just means that they can fix phone so it can be used with another SIM card from another service provider - no use for you if phone is physically locked meaning no service provider will work on phone. Market cannot unlock a phone that needs PUK code - that is illegal. My advice would be to leave phone out on table and go out for some shopping when DH is in. If he is guilty he will take phone or hide it and play innosent when you ask where it is. If he doesn't take phone then hand phone in - it could genuinly be lost and some poor kid could be missing their Xmas present (not everyone can afford or wants a posh phone - old people, kids, even me!). DH may still be guilty so look for other signs (lying about smoking probably not one of them - he's a man so let the idiot smoke if he wants to! - just not in front of kids) but you will drive yourself mad until you have proof - so assume innocent until proven guilty and stay happy MilkMonitor. Just because some people have lying, cheating husbands, doesn't mean you do.Dunno if I am objective since i don't even have a husband! LOL :) Hope this helps though

Sounds properly dodgy. I speak as someone who had a "secret" (cheap Nokia pay as you go) phone to conduct a relationship with. In my case my husband had left and shacked up with his GF but at the time he came home at weekends to see our very young children and I just knew if he ever found out I was seeing anyone he would go mental about the idea of another man near his children. In the end he did find out - by hacking my email account - but that's another story...

I'm going to be frank: I've been on both sides of the dishonesty thing and if your DH had genuinely just found this phone then he would not be remotely bothered about you knowing about it. Ditto his insistence that you take it to the station together - presumably so he can go back without you and claim it back.

You have showed your hand now and he will be extra-vigilant. I think best course of action is to behave totally "normal", go along with taking it back together, behave completely normally with him, but find some other way to keep tabs. Is he furtive with his mobile? Could you get it and check texts etc?