DH has just called me a moron, why?

[chipping]

I have 4DCs. My relationship with DH has gone down hill since the birth of DC4 12 months ago (EMCS).

DH's hearing isn't 100%, often I will say things & he mishears. There is also a history of dyslexia on DH's side, which I feel may contribute to many misunderstandings between us. He swears that I have said things which I haven't, for example - my friends child his very hyperactive, DH had interpreted that as my friends child is on drugs, my cousin recently got divorced, this was interpreted as my cousin is a paedophile (!).

It sounds mad, but this is how it is.

I have tried to talk to DH, explaining that I think the problems we have in our relationship are in part due to misundestandings we have in communicating. he has said that it is me that has the problem in communicating , that no one understands what i say (I am black, but born & brought up in the UK, I have a lancashire accent, DH is from the south).

Today, after another misunderstanding I tried to talk to DH. I explained how I felt after the birth of DS. I was on my own for a long time with the DCs, he went on holiday. I was very resentful.

DH laughed and called me a moron - as though he didn't believe what i was saying.

I have had councelling. My councellor has said that she thinks that Dh is emotionally abusive. I told DH this, he has told me that everyone now thinks that I am mad.

DH isn't the person I married.

I would appreciate some advice.

Well, ex also threatened to take DS away, but he is the one living 2000 miles away.

And he has tried to make my life miserable, but we are doing quite well without him and in spite of his threats.

He can only control you if you allow yourself to fear him.

"DH's hearing isn't 100%, often I will say things & he mishears... He swears that I have said things which I haven't, for example - my friends child his very hyperactive, DH had interpreted that as my friends child is on drugs, my cousin recently got divorced, this was interpreted as my cousin is a paedophile (!)."

I think these examples are quite revealing. Fair enough, he may not hear very well so his brain is compensating. But always in a more sensational way, making other people out to be bad. Says something about him, doesn't it? My dh is also hard of hearing, but somehow there isn't this unpleasant tinge to his mistakes.

Nothing that says you can't be deaf and loopy. Or deaf and have an unpleasant personality. And he gambles. Massively. And is manipulative. And you are slightly afraid of what he might do if you upset him. Not much going for him, has he?

YY to everything cory just said.

Chipping I think you should also try speaking to someone from WA. Abusive partners' favourite line ALWAYS seems to be them taking the children from their mother. Remember, he's not saying that because he loves them more, he says it because he knows it's something you fear and he uses it to keep you in your place.
If you contact WA they are good at dispelling myths and can help you see what practical steps you can take, what would happen etc.
It isn't an easy road but this tosser (who is not a 'man' in the true sense of the word) will keep trying to bring you down. It's exhausting living like that.

But, I do have my own thoughts & opinions, unfortunately.

Not unfortunately at all. In fact very fortunate. These thoughts & opinions may well save you spending years in the future being degraded and abused.

Be confident that what you are thinking is correct. You do not deserve this treatment.