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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

URGENT, please give me your thoughts, could be long.

56 replies

DelGirl · 19/03/2012 11:58

posting here as well as property as more traffic

ok, I moved abroad 18 months ago and let my house to a friend. I have kept some stuff there and she has 3 of the 4 bedrooms, well she uses 2 but could use 3. This seems to have worked well though I am out of pocket really as the rent is so low, well not out of pocket literally but if it was on the open market rent wise I would make a lot more.

she knew it wouldn't be long term, I said a year. I went back to the UK and put the house on the market. It is a good house which should have sold fairly easily but since I have reduced substantially. House market drop obv and going with local prices it is a good buy.

I said to her at the time that when I received an offer i would give 2 months notice from accepting, I was even willing to help her a bit financially.

The photos aren't as great as they could have been and it has since come to light from the agent (chose badly there ) it was because the house was cluttered. They have since been back to re-do, though they haven't put them up. Feedback from agent is on viewings that place is untidy, not sure how as she doesn't that much stuff but she has a 6 year old boy with lots of toys. I understand this having a 6 year old myself and as a viewer think I would be capable of looking past it.

I heard through a friend that their friend was viewing last Saturday, cash buyer no chain, I'm not in a chain either. I rang the agent today to get feedback and ask about the pics and he said they couldn't view as the tenant had rung on Friday to say no viewings possiible as son sick. Now I know for a fact that she went away as its plastered all over good old facebook. I am really pissed off as I felt she was one of the goodun's. I know it is a hassle for her but she knows i need to sell and she knows she's been lucky having my house for really next to nothing.

So, I have tried to call her, no answer so sent a text. I can't imagine if her son was ill she'd be living it up elsewhere for the weekend.

I'm sure I have to give her 2 months notice, need to check that but to be honest i'm inclined to give her 2 months rent to move out. I am returning to the UK in 2 weeks time so it would be an ideal opportunity to sort the house out, get it cleaned and stuff put in storage. I know she can move in with her mum just around the corner and though i feel annoyed to maybe give her money to go, in the scheme of house selling it may be worth it. HELP, the money would give her the month in advance and months rent so i'd be doing her a massive favour. Can't believe it's been reduced so much possibly due in part at least to this . Sorry its so long

with regard to make more money, I don't make anything and I do believe I am subsidising a fair bit. Was ok with this because it suited me to leave stuff as was in the uk

property been on market since Mid jan and really should have sold by now.

OP posts:

squeakytoy · 19/03/2012 12:00

give her notice and kick her out.. she is using you..

Shutupanddrive · 19/03/2012 12:04

Don't do her any more favours, including paying her to leave. Give her notice and tell her to move out. She is taking the piss, and she knows it otherwise she would answer the phone.

Original poster

DelGirl · 19/03/2012 12:04

yes I know, just waiting to here from her but her mobile is off. She is a nice person I think but maybe has been cajoled into it and obviously doesn't want to move, I don't think she is nasty really but she has annoyed me.

What do you think wrt paying her to move, maybe that is what she wants, gah my people radar is rubbish at the mo.

OP posts:

ImpatientOne · 19/03/2012 12:05

what shutup and squeaky said :(

Original poster

DelGirl · 19/03/2012 12:05

though i will be out of pocket it will be far easier to get her out now and she'll have some cash and I can sort out the house ready for someone to move into when it sells without the need to come back to uk necessarily which will save me a few quid as well.

OP posts:

YonWhaleFish · 19/03/2012 12:06

Give notice, and ask her to leave. She isn't helping you sell it is she, after all you've done for her!

SquirtedPerfumeUpNoseInBoots · 19/03/2012 12:06

I would just serve her notice. I wouldn't pay her to leave.
She is taking advantage I think.

Original poster

DelGirl · 19/03/2012 12:07

yes but that will be 2 months, 2 months longer on the market maybe and alot of hassle coming back to get stuff into store etc

OP posts:

Shutupanddrive · 19/03/2012 12:07

It's not your problem if she has cash or where she goes afterwards. Do what is right for you, after all she has no consideration at all for you

Original poster

DelGirl · 19/03/2012 12:08

one way or another i will give her notice today but I think it would be easier to pay her off not that she deserves it but...........

OP posts:

ZillionChocolate · 19/03/2012 12:08

Has she got a proper tenancy agreement? If she has, then find out what it says about a) you ending it and b) access for viewings etc.

It definitely sounds as though she is abusing your generosity, and I can't see that it will get any better. Probably no point challenging her/arguing with her, just get her out of there and move on. I wouldn't give her any money/help that wasn't legally required unless its the only way to get her out of there.

OlympicEater · 19/03/2012 12:09

what impatient said.

She's no friend

Original poster

DelGirl · 19/03/2012 12:09

but I can't give her 2 weeks notice, I'd have to give 2 months thats why i'd pay her as she's not likely to move otherwise.

OP posts:

Lambzig · 19/03/2012 12:09

I dont understand why you think you have to pay her to leave. You have already done her enough favours. I hope that you had some written tenancy agreement with her?

Original poster

DelGirl · 19/03/2012 12:10

maybe i'll just try and give her a months money, sorry to post so much just doing as I think.

OP posts:

Original poster

DelGirl · 19/03/2012 12:12

yes but actually i think ,may have expired but HB pays her rent

OP posts:

wannaBe · 19/03/2012 12:12

just give her notice.

but

this isn't an ibu so I've reported and asked thread to be moved to legal/chat/wherever appropriate.

Original poster

DelGirl · 19/03/2012 12:17

to summarise, agreement was 2 months notice though I think the tenancy agreement has expired. If I give her 2 months, thats 2 more months running up bills, not playing ball wrt viewings etc and more bad feeling. If I pay her yes it is a win win for her but as I am back in the UK in 2 weeks it will save me a trip and possibly get me a buyer much quicker without the need to reduce further so I can't see I will be that much out of pocket but I agree I shouldn't have to. I don't know when i'll be next back in the uk and as a single mum I will have to take dd out of school to come back to sort the house anyway.

OP posts:

Figarello · 19/03/2012 12:18

I would take the house off the market - you have already said that the agent is rubbish. Give your friend notice immediately - so it will be 2 months or less for her to move out. Hopefully she will just move in with her mother sooner rather than later, or perhaps even find something of her own off her own back. Who knows?!

Then, when she has moved out, go and freshen the house up, make sure it is tidy and presentable and put it back on the market with a better agent.

Otherwise, you are just going to have the house on the market for another 2 months, with a rubbish agent, and not budging. People are going to suspect something is wrong with it and avoid it. And you are going to get increasingly annoyed with your friend each time she makes an excuse and cancels a viewing. Or the agent contacts you to say that your friend has left the house in a mess again.

Give your friend notice today.

Northernlurker · 19/03/2012 12:19

Give her notice she has time to move out but don't give her money. A few years ago we short term let a friend's house whilst waiting for our purchase to go through and for her house to sell. We lived there for three months without a viewing. The house was fairly priced. I went in to talk to the estate agent and came away withthe firm impression they weren't trying to sell it. It was never in the paper and the new photos taken after we moved in hadn't been attached to the details. I suspected the agent was in cahoots with someone to sell it cheap. Our friend was living two hundred miles away by this time. Sure enough the agent rang her and said she needed to reduce it. She refused and out it on with another agent. Within a week she had three viewings and two good offers. I then supervised the packing and moving of the stuff she had left in the house.

That is what you do when a friend does you a favour. What your 'tenant' is doing is taking you for a ride. Don't fall for it.

squeaver · 19/03/2012 12:19

You want to give her the money because you feel bad about kicking her out, is that it? And you want her out in less than the two months notice you said you'd give? But she could actually move in with her Mum around the corner?

If you're determined to be soft, why not tell her she has to be out in two weeks but you won't charge her that 2 weeks rent?

squeaver · 19/03/2012 12:21

And yes agree with others, take the house off the market and relist with a different agent as soon as you're back in the UK.

beachyhead · 19/03/2012 12:21

It's horrible when this happens. We were in a similar position, although our friends did not behave like this and were more than tidy, but potential purchasers were very concerned that there was a tenant in the property they were buying and an informal tenant as well. There were legal concerns about exchanging or progressing very far while the tenants were there. So from a selling perspective, potential purchasers would prefer the property empty so it's clear the purchase won't be disrupted by a tenant refusing to go. I don't know if you have a full legal arrangement with her, but if you don't, the buyers solicitors will be very nervous...

Original poster

DelGirl · 19/03/2012 12:21

I don't want to take off the market, no point really as there is a tie in and though there is no chain my end I do want to buy here so want the money. I'm not making any money out of her so won't be hugely out of pocket. got to get dd now

OP posts:

Flisspaps · 19/03/2012 12:22

What's to say she won't take the money but still not budge until the two months is up?

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