Stuck in a place I don't want to be

[Ohitsoktobechecky2]

Left a long abusive relationship, not physically abusive, it's all I know I'm used to it I crave it wtf ?

I have lost family I'm on my own with dc in new area, how do I move on from this all my adult life I have lived this way, I don't want to go back but have no idea how to move forward.

Feel like I'm driving a speed boat the first time in my life x

Take a deep breath ...........and pat yourself on the back for making that huge brave step. You and your child can at last be at ease and just take 1 day at a time. Dont rush into any decisions You will learn to adjust to a life without abuse. Feed, comfort and keep you and your little treasure warm and you will succeed in your new life. Peole on this firum will be here for you xxxxx

Driving a speed boat sounds exhilarating Ohitso!

Come and join in on This Thread where you find find like minded company.

Pull in the throttle a little, slow down and watch the world. If an abusive relationship was all you knew, yet you could see it for what it was and escaped it that means you have got strength, and a survival mechanism. That is your past life with others in control. This is now and YOU are in control of the speed.

You now have the luxury of peace, kindness (to yourselve and DC). You have freedom which is priceless, and no doubt are at a place you dreamed of when you were in your darkest moments. Yes it is a challenge, but you will be up to it. Yes it new, but hopefully exciting. It won't be long before the old life will be a distant memory from which you learned survival and strength. You learnt what you don't want, and now you are learing what you do. Congratulations, enjoy the journey, and yes, itsoktobecheeky!!!

Thanks, I feel panicked and worried just don't know what to do, I still believe it's all going to come crashing down around me.

I feel lost/ scared I need a map and I aint got one? All my adult life I have been controlled by a man alot older than me, it's scary I wish I knew what to do

Sometimes feel like ending it all because it's all to much to handle, it's just so hopeless, he wins I don't and there seems no way out anymore he's going to win it's just how it is,there's nothing left for him to take he's had it all, I thought leaving him was the hardest part I was so wrong wasn't I ?

Have you heard about the freedom programme? It might be something which you would find helpful. Also Pattern Changing courses - if there isn't one there might be the other near you.

www.freedomprogramme.co.uk/ and you'll have to google "Pattern Changing" with your town or area name.

It is really hard to break out of the patterns we've come to know and find familiar, if you haven't known anything else, it's doubly hard. Often the patterns and behaviours we absorb are survival tactics as well which make them extremely hard to shake even when you address the underlying beliefs.

You only need a map if you're trying to find your way to somewhere :) Why not take a wander for a bit, see what you find? This is time for you and you must take as much as you need.

Every day you are growing and learing. There are no winners no losers. We are all on a journey that is life. You are on the threshold of your new life as a free and independant person. Someone with choices, maybe for the first time in a very long time. You must have come a long way to be where you are. Don't look back, don't look down it can be scary. Just take things a day at a time. Be proud of yourself for getting out of what sounds like an awful situation.

You may have a few panicks, that is normal, but they will hopefully be less frequent. Big hugs for being you.