Is my OH being really unfair or is it me?

[anyoneelsegetthis]

We have a four month old baby and i stay at home to look after him, whilst DH works in a pretty stressful job.
I was at uni when i became pregnant so don't recieve any maternity allowance or benefits meaning he is bringing in the only money we have.
Pretty much every evening he wants a detailed list of what I have spent that day.
It's fair enough i guess but it makes me feel guilty whenever I do spend, even on baby creams and things.
aside from that he constantly pressures me to do things for him. i.e he wants a bar of chocolate so demands i go to the shop, i must hear the line 'but i go to work' at least twice a day.
the most annoying thing is that he insists i wake up with him at 6.30am every day and make him coffee and hang around til he leaves for work. this is even when i've been up half the night with the baby. he also refuses to takeover night feeds or early mornings at weekends, using the same line.

he also won't do any housework, and will do 'fun ' baby stuff like baths, feeding and stories but won't change nappies or do the sterilizing etc.

when we were at uni i always worked part time and he wouldn't do a thing around the house while i was out, we also shared all our finances, much of which was mine and i never tried to make him feel guilty. i can't help but bring that up when we argue but he says 'it's in the past' the situation now is different. wtf?
he goes out with friends once or twice a week to the pub or cinema, whereas i have only been out twice since the birth. i also have few friends around and all my family live three hours drive away so i feel tied to the home and the baby. i don't resent his 'time out' as it keeps him sane, but i resent the fact that i don't get any. he would be happy to babysit but i really don't have anyone/ anywhere to go. i can't even go shopping as i don't have my own money.

otherwise he is a very loving father, and we have a great relationship, but he makes me feel as if what i do is just laze around all day, and i feel i have no comeback when he makes demands on me.

is it unreasonable to expect to perhaps be left sleeping while my baby is instead of forcing myself out of bed to make him coffees? or to buy myself a new eyeliner without having to tell him precisely jow much it cost.

i just don't know how to resolve this,any advice would be great.

get that rolling pin and threaten him with a civilized conversation......or else

Update, please.

updaye update please gimme update

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Do you think shes done him in . ?

we will be her alibi

actually am thinking that he prolly banned her from mumsnet!

Awww... no it couldn't be. She'd tell him where to stick it surely.

Oi! Come back. How are you?????

this is strictly need to know. and i need to know

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Well???????

Spend that Family Allowance girl - a savings account for the baby! You will be the only person without savings at this rate.

lol, you ladies are funny...

no i didn't kill him, and no i'm not banned from mumsnet..teehee...
our broadband was broked, but now its fixed.

we went from him sulking and looking like a naughty child being told off, to having a long and thorough conversation about what needs to change.
it may sound silly, but I have written out some 'favour' vouchers, so when he does something for me that i consider good enough, he gets the voucher which he can exchange for me making him a coffee at 7am or ironing his work shirts etc, hopefully soon such things will just become habit and he won't expect to get things without returning the favour.
yesterday he baby sat while i met a friend for lunch and drinks..which was great! and i still got a lie in this morning..i don't think he was brave enough to wake me..teehee

Well done! I don't care what method you use, if it works it works!

You get more respect for being a little strict every now and then!

Oh, lovely: vouchers. I might pinch this idea. My DH is always asking for a cup of tea while he's lying in bed and I'm running round like a mad woman trying to get out the door for work. He rarely gets this cup of tea, by the way.

But I love the voucher idea: puts the control back in your hand.

Also, I just wanted to say that men are trainable. My DH was not a natural at this fatherhood thing. But kids are now almost 3 yrs and 8 mnths and he is worlds better than he used to be. He grew up in a pretty dysfunctional family. His father walked out on his mother when she had five boys under the age of 12. And, he never really came back or gave a toss. So, it's been hard for him to learn how a father is supposed to behave. There is hope for your DH, but it will have to be your job to teach him.

just had to think of that old classic joke... men should read and memorize!

Last Night

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A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his
wife stayed at home.

He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed,
"Dear Lord, I go to work every day and put in eight hours while
my wife merely stays at home.

I want her to know what I go through, so please create a trade
in our bodies."

God, in His infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.

The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman.

He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set
out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their
lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry
cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to
draw out money to pay the power bill and telephone bill, drove
to the power company and the phone company and paid the bills,
went grocery shopping, came home and put away the groceries. He
cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.

Then it was already 1:00 p.m. and he hurried to make the beds,
do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen
floor. He ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an
argument with them on the way home. He set out cookies and milk
and got the kids organized to do their homework, then set up the
ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.

At 4:30 PM he began peeling potatoes and washed greens for
salads, breaded the chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.

After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded
laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed. At 9:00 PM he
was exhausted and though his chores weren't finished, he went to
bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get
through without complaint.

The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and
said, " Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong
to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day.

Please, O Lord please, let us trade back."

The Lord, in His infinite wisdom, replied, "My son, I feel you
have learned your lesson, and I will be happy to change things
back to the way they were.

You'll have to wait 9 months, though.

You got pregnant last night!!!"