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Original poster

Does this sound right re dp being on birth cert of his ex's baby who was not his?

115 replies

hattieboo2012 · 15/03/2012 06:18

dp met his ex when she was about 5 months pg. The real father left never to show his face again. Dp was with her til the baby was 18 months old. He left her coz she used him for money and was very materialistic. They never lived together.

I recently found something on dps old phone in his search history that was about getting his name removed from a birth certificate. So I questioned dp about it.

He said that hos ex had dps name put on birth certificate when baby was born without him knowing about it. He only found it was on a few months before he left her...could this be true?

Also he said he went through a solicitor and got his name removed from birth certificate. It was easy for solicitor to do this as his ex admitted putting it on without his consent. Does this sound true to ear? I always thought it was impossible to get name removed from bc as it's an historical document?

OP posts:
EdithWeston · 17/03/2012 08:01

OP: as you can see, what he's told you so far doesn't sound quite. Now you know which parts need further explaining, I hope you will be able to broach this with him again.

seeker · 17/03/2012 08:07

A statutory declaration is made under oath. And I think it has to be made in the presence of a Notary Public.

PooPooInMyToes · 17/03/2012 08:09

Please don't have a baby with this man until you get to the bottom of this.

Ask him exactly how she put his name on when they weren't married? See what he says. He might say she just lied when she went to register to birth but we know that's not possible. Did she falsify documents? Don't give him these ideas by the way. Just ask and see what he says.

mathanxiety · 17/03/2012 08:17

All we have is this man's word that he is no longer on the BC.
We don't know if he is the biological father of this baby - there is just his word for that.
We don't know if he and the baby's mother were married - that question hasn't been asked.
We have a report from the OP that the DP and the Ex never lived together - OP hasn't questioned this.
We haven't been told anything about this man doing a DNA test.

PooPooInMyToes · 17/03/2012 10:18

How long have you been together?

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 17/03/2012 10:33

A Stat Dec can be made in front of a Commissioner for Oaths i.e. a solicitor who will formally witness it (& write on the document) So his ex could not have made a stat dec "on his behalf".

EdithWeston · 17/03/2012 10:43

The stat dec form has a list of acceptable witnesses at the top of the form (and I think the only exception is for Armed Forces overseas where there may be no legal bod available, in which case the Commanding Officer stands in). Te father has to sign it in front of a suitable witness. Is he saying she had someone impersonate him?

PooPooInMyToes · 17/03/2012 11:02

Don't just let this drop op. You need to find out the truth before you have a child with him. It may well be something that can be explained but you need to really think about if he's telling the truth. Not just take his word for it or bury your head in the sand. I know you want him to be am honest guy but that won't MAKE him one. He either is or he isn't.

I guess there must have been doubt there for you to post in the first place.

clam · 17/03/2012 19:26

How come you know "for certain" that his dad wouldn't lie, but yet you don't say that about your dp?
And, in my long experience, people who pledge that they "would never lie" to you, tend to be liars. Why else the need to say it?

PooPooInMyToes · 17/03/2012 22:34

Have you spoken to him about it any more op?

Mrbojangles1 · 17/03/2012 22:39

Sorry don't believe a word of it you cannot go five months later declare you hVe now found the father then put his name

You can only put the name of the father down if he is presant at the time and you both have to have ID

I rather think he IS this baby's father and is trying to wriggle out of it with a story if you really think he's telling the truth you could just ring the coucil tomrrow and confirm his version of events but the fact you have posted rather makes me think you already know the truth

izzyizin · 17/03/2012 23:09

Ring the council, Mrbojangles? What council would that be? The only way the OP's going to know for sure is to apply for a copy of the birth certficate from the General Register Office.

While she's delving into the registers of births, the OP's best advised to see how many other children he has whether he's been named on other entries and check the registers of marriages to see if he's been married.

There's no way you should be thinking about ttc with this man until you know the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, about this child and about any other mothers who may have used his name in vain, hattie.

As for his old man telling you the truth, do bear in mind tha it's not uncommon for family members to lie for each other - and to look a questioner in the eye when doing so.

goldwrapped · 18/03/2012 21:29

Hello all... The mother could have lied when registering the baby, and said she was legally married to the baby's natural father. Then she could have added his details and they would appear on the register/certificate, without him being present.
She could then have realised that her statement was very wrong, and admitted her lie, in which case the father's name would have been removed from the documents.
Or, he was there at the registration, and he lied when the registrar asked him, 'are you the baby's natural father?'
I am a registrar of births, marriages and deaths... Happy to help xxxx

TooEasilyTempted · 18/03/2012 21:35

Sorry, but that's rubbish.

If you claim to be married to the father and he isn't present don't you have to produce the marriage certificate? Or does the registrar just take your word for it? Hmm

Kayzr · 18/03/2012 21:37

Nope they took my word for it when I registered DS2. I asked when I made the appointment and they said no they didn't need to see the marriage certificate..

goldwrapped · 18/03/2012 21:39

PS Reading through the posts on this page I can spot at least a dozen errors of fact regarding the registration of births. I don't want to upset or offend anyone but I am really concerned that people will read forums like this and take what they read to be the absolute truth - it could destroy lives.
All I can say is please don't advise anyone unless you have absolute definitive proof about the legalities of what you are posting.
Rant over :)
xxx

feelssostrong · 18/03/2012 21:40

interesting that OP has seemingly abandoned this post but has just started another - about DP and his ex!!

Drama Queen or just doesn't want to hear the truth?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1431510-Im-annoyed-at-partner

feelssostrong · 18/03/2012 21:42

OP already has another post going about DP here. And another about wanting a baby with him!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1428731-Does-this-sound-right-re-dp-being-on-birth-cert-of-his-exs-baby-who-was-not-his

goldwrapped · 18/03/2012 21:43

We need no proof. No documentation. I'm registering 11 babies tomorrow. Quick tot up amounts to around 4,000 babies in the past 4 years. But glad you know my job better than me, TooEasilyTempted....
Please, please get your facts straight before posting potential life-destroying crap on here.

feelssostrong · 18/03/2012 21:45

whoops - posted on wrong thread! Blush

dollymixtures · 18/03/2012 21:48

My DD would have been born at a similar time to your DP's ex's child. At that time the only way for my DP to be named on the bc was for him to be present at the registry office. There was no statutory declaration form at that time.

He's lying for some reason and only you can decide if it's a deal breaker but I think you would be mad to have children with this man until you know the complete truth.

Kayzr · 18/03/2012 22:00

Goldwrapped Can I just hijack thread quickly? How long do you have to register a birth? My DP works away and isn't due home until a week after baby is due.

We will be married by then but just wondered really.

goldwrapped · 18/03/2012 22:11

dollymixtures, sorry sweetpea, you're totally wrong. She could have lied.

Everything the BF of the OP says could be entirely true

Please stop referring to stat decs, they've been around since for over 6 decades but are only usually used if the father is not available to register the birth - usually meaning he's in prison or at sea.

Hi Kayzr :) OOOOOooooooo congratulations! You've got 42 days after the birth to register, but if you're married he doesn't have to be there. Equally, you don't have to be there! Either of you can register alone. Good luck!! xxx

Kayzr · 18/03/2012 22:14

Thanks. I just wanted to check as this is his first but my third so he might want to go and register together. He works at sea so we've been lucky that it works out he will be home quite soon after.

dollymixtures · 18/03/2012 22:33

Just going on what I was told when I rang our registry office as there was a chance DP would be unable to accompany me to register DDs birth. I was told that he should be there, that arrangements could be made if he wasn't but that it required court orders/ solicitors.

I also joked when we registered DS (5 years ago) that DP didn't need to be there I could have just pretended we were married and the registrar said they would have asked to see a marriage certificate. But you're the expert so I bow to your knowledge.

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