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Original poster

Does this sound right re dp being on birth cert of his ex's baby who was not his?

115 replies

hattieboo2012 · 15/03/2012 06:18

dp met his ex when she was about 5 months pg. The real father left never to show his face again. Dp was with her til the baby was 18 months old. He left her coz she used him for money and was very materialistic. They never lived together.

I recently found something on dps old phone in his search history that was about getting his name removed from a birth certificate. So I questioned dp about it.

He said that hos ex had dps name put on birth certificate when baby was born without him knowing about it. He only found it was on a few months before he left her...could this be true?

Also he said he went through a solicitor and got his name removed from birth certificate. It was easy for solicitor to do this as his ex admitted putting it on without his consent. Does this sound true to ear? I always thought it was impossible to get name removed from bc as it's an historical document?

OP posts:
izzyizin · 15/03/2012 08:05

Have you seen a copy of the birth certificate in question?

If your dp is unwilling to produce it or is unwilling to obtain a copy from the registry office that registered the birth or online from the General Register Office, it occurs to me that you should apply for a copy yourself so that you can see for yourself who is named as the father of the child.

starfishmummy · 15/03/2012 08:15

If something is put on later, a correction say, it will be annotated on the register and certificate that it is an ammendment. so if man had been added later through official channels then it would be obvious.

This was what I was told when I rang to see if I could get ds's certificate corrected as DH registerd him and got my place of birth wrong.

Bucharest · 15/03/2012 08:18

I'm afraid it sounds to me as if he isthe father of the child after all.

doggiesayswoof · 15/03/2012 08:22

I think the child might be his

does he have form for lying op?

TheLightPassenger · 15/03/2012 08:24

He's told you a load of old cobblers, as several other posters have pointed out. I'ld see this as a warning as to his likely attitude if you ever had children and then split up Sad.

saggarmakersbottomknocker · 15/03/2012 08:28

I would get a copy of the cert.

You will be able to tell whether she originally didn't name anyone originally but then had him added later. You can do that, perfectly legally by reregistering but he would still have to be there.

saggarmakersbottomknocker · 15/03/2012 08:29

Too many originallys but you get the drift.

babyhammock · 15/03/2012 09:01

He is totally lying about this. She can't put his name on unless he is there and she certainly can't 'pen' it in afterwards.

I'd wonder what else he is lying about :(

izzyizin · 15/03/2012 09:07

Maybe he's a frequent inseminator, baby. Perhaps he's endeavouring to create his very own dynasty?

The OP used the term 'if I'm having his baby and marrying him'... sounds to me as if he's got another one on the way in addition to the ones one he already has.

sillymillyb · 15/03/2012 09:22

Just to add, you can see a copy of what is written on the birth certificate on genesreunited online. I think it costs about a fiver. It might be worth looking it up to see what the origional says.

izzyizin · 15/03/2012 09:54

As the child is 'coming up to 3' and genesreunited currently does not show births, marriages, and deaths, that have been registered later than 2006, the OP will be wasting a fiver if she searches that particular website, sillymilly.

On a point of information, genesreunited only provides online access to the registers of birth, marriages and does not provide access to, or sight of, any certficates related to the entries therein.

cestlavielife · 15/03/2012 09:59

you need to get the ex's side of the story here.
get DP to do DNA test if there is any doubt.

and what does materialistic mean? Does your dp have a lot of money?

be v careful if you having a baby with him....

Anniegetyourgun · 15/03/2012 10:05

Materialistic could well mean "expected him to pay maintenance for his child"...

SardineJam · 15/03/2012 10:06

If your 'd'p's ex told the registrar that she didn't know the father etc, then the birth certificate would have been produced with just her name on it

If she at a later date wanted to add on DP's details, and they weren't married, they would've needed to go back to the registry office and do this together

I'm not sure who can apply for copies birth certificates, but one usually going to the registry office in question, and pay a small fee for the certificate, i'm not sure if you can do this if you are unrelated to the person though but it would be good for you to see the actual certificate

I'm sorry but I think he is lying

HugeFurryWishingStool · 15/03/2012 10:07

I think materialistic in this case means "expected him to contribute financially towards his child", cestlavielife.
Op, he is treating you like a fool.

Kayzr · 15/03/2012 10:13

Anybody can order birth certificates online. You need to know names, date of birth and that sort of stuff but anybody can order them. Its from the general register office. They are £9.95 but take quite a while to arrive.

I have recently had to order one for DS2 as I lost it when we moved.

TooEasilyTempted · 15/03/2012 10:19

He's lying to you.

If his name is/was genuinely on the birth certificate then he accompanied his ex to the registry office and consented to that.

She 'penned it on the certificate later' Hmm sorry that's bollocks and it wouldn't be a proper legal document.

He's spinning you a big line in the hope that you're as stupid as he is.

What else is he lying about?

vodkalorange · 15/03/2012 10:23

It might be that he thinks that if he admits he's on the BC by his own consent he'll be liable for child maintenance etc, I THINK that happens in the USA automatically.

OP, there is no way he could be on the BC unless he consented. But that doesn't mean the baby is his; my DSis met BIL when she was pg. He's not on the BC but it's not so outlandish that a couple could get together in those circs.

doctordwt · 15/03/2012 13:22

He's lying to you.

Either about consenting to having his name put on, as he would have had to be there, or about the fact that he is the child's father after all.

His second version of events sounds complete bollocks, by the way - I think you know that -'as far as I can tell...she penned it in' WTF? Oh please. Yes, right, she scribbled his name on in pen, and that wouldn't totally invalidate the certificate and get her in serious trouble if she sent it off to CSA/claim CB/get a passport at all, would it?! That really is complete nonsense.

The issue here is that he's lying to you about something so big. First thing I'd do -send off for a copy of the certificate, see if his name is on it or not. Then tackle how and why he's lied... and make it clear as absolute crystal that if that's going to be his approach to sticky subjects in future - he won't be staying your partner much longer. Lies - zero tolerance NOW.

feuerandwasser · 15/03/2012 13:27

He's bullshitting you big style.

Firstly he would have to have been there to consent as they were not married.

Secondly he has told you she added his name herself...if that were true why was he looking up how much it would cost and how he can have his name removed? there would be no need if it is a forgery he would just have to prove that the certificate was altered.

If I were you I would keep digging TBH.

Original poster
hattieboo2012 · 16/03/2012 05:41

Hiya all thanks for your replies.

I questioned him further and he said he is not the father, they got together when she was 5 months pg and from what you are all saying, he mustve consented to his name going on there but he won't admit it...why...do you think it's brcause hes embarassed coz he was so naive to put his name as father down when he wasn't and then it didnt work out?

Also regarding the taking his name off, I do believe that he has had his name legally removed with the help of a solicitor as he says he went for legal advice with his dad, and I could easily ask his dad if it's all true because his dad and i are close and I know for certain his dad would never lie to me. So I think the end part about the solicitor is true, but you're saying that he mustve been there for the document to have his name added?

OP posts:
Original poster
hattieboo2012 · 16/03/2012 05:50

He's always said he'd never lie to me and I love him so much I don't want to believe he's lying to me. I want to get married and have children with this man! I want to believe him.

OP posts:
Original poster
hattieboo2012 · 16/03/2012 05:52

I have trust issues anyway but I guess everything will work out.

OP posts:
SaraBellumHertz · 16/03/2012 05:57

You're right to have trust issues regarding this bloke he is absolutely stringing you a line.

The only way he could be in the certificate is if either he was married to her OR if he was present. Neither of those you'd forget!

Why he is lying is hardly relevant. The fact is he is. Run. Fast.

lifechanger · 16/03/2012 06:08

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