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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

So, he accidently text me from another phone ...

104 replies

OrangeFace · 09/03/2012 07:36

Last night about 11.45pm I receive a text off an unknown number. I read it and it's DP (I know this because the message contained an in-joke that only me and him know. The message was obviously meant for me, and nobody else.
What is concerning me is - what's with the strange number??

He has recently changed his phone but I have both his old number and his new one. This number was totally different. I played dumb and text back saying "who is this??" and he has not replied again.

He does have form for lying, sneaking around, dating sites etc. If he can't explain this one it will be nail in the coffin for us. Am I being harsh?

OP posts:
PooPooInMyToes · 09/03/2012 16:14

You said the message he sent you was clearly mid conversation . . . what did it say?

PeppermintPasty · 09/03/2012 16:18

How are things OP?

Original poster
OrangeFace · 09/03/2012 17:16

Well -

He says the number belongs to his daughter's phone and that she has broken it and so put her sim in his old phone - therefore when they turned on the old phone, this 'old' message got sent from weeks ago from the same phone - but with her sim in it. It was apparantly her texting me this morning (and later getting her mates to do it also so god knows how many teenagers now have my number).

I suppose it checks out but all this has highlighted to me is how EVERYTIME something "funny" comes up, I immediately think the worst and never believe him anymore. I don't think we have anything worth continuing going on that basis. Life is too short :( so although I do believe he was innocent this time, these things are just going to keep coming up aren't they Sad Once a liar - never to be trusted.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 09/03/2012 17:38

gosh, you are very understanding Shock

crisis over ?

yes, for him

BettyPerske · 09/03/2012 17:38

He's talking bollocks.

'Then I text "his" number and said "I assume you didn't mean to text me from that other number last night?" and he replied almost instantly (unusual) with "no I don't use that number anymore it was a text I sent ages ago and it just got received"'

How did he know anything about the text being sent from your text this morning? He clearly knew exactly what text you were talking about. He would have no reason to have any knowledge of the text sent from the phone he gave his daughter, so clearly it was him you were speaking to last night.

Fucking cheeky basterd.

BettyPerske · 09/03/2012 17:40

and anyway - he said he 'doesn't use that number any more' but he never did because it was his daughter's.

I'm glad you've come to the conclusion he's a waste of your time and energy, but please be aware he's also playing you for a complete fool with this load of shite.

I'm sorry OP Sad

Doha · 09/03/2012 17:52

He has had all day to come up with an excuse and he ended withthat bundle of shite.
He must think you are a complete fool to fall for that one.
He is a liar.
The end

SarahStratton · 09/03/2012 18:00

I hope you don't believe that crock of shite. He must be extraordinarily thick if that's the best he can come up with after a whole day.

BettyPerske · 09/03/2012 18:02

Well the first rule of lying is to make sure you don't contradict your SELF...ie your own story has to add up, which is hard work if the last instalment was several hours earlier and you've forgotten what you said.

He clearly doesn't realise you've got it all in writing, and so have we actually...he won't have written down the conversation you had before. But we know what he said. And it doesn't add up with the latest.

holstenlips · 09/03/2012 18:09

sorry to say , speaking not as an expert but as someone who has had similar bollox foisted upon them before, he is taking the p* out of you imo :(

Mutt · 09/03/2012 18:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HurtleTurtle30 · 09/03/2012 18:13

Just wanted to add that the text thing is probably a lie. Mobile networks only store messages for a limited time, I work for a network and we store for 72 hours then delete if undelivered. A text attempts to send 3 times over this period then gets deleted.
Entirely up to you if you want to accept his lies but I would bet my salary on the text message story being undelivered a lie as they just don't store that long. No mobile operator can afford to store all undelivered messages indefinitely and no longer than a couple of days in most cases.
Take care of yourself and don't live with these lies

holstenlips · 09/03/2012 18:34

i dont know if this will help you, but my experience was also an 'in joke' that seemed to be in answer to a conversation that we hadnt been having (if that makes sense) It was defo to another woman as she was a friend and i asked her and she confirmed. And my OH did tears, begging, lied til he was blue in the face and did all the 'oh it was an undelivered message' blah blah stuff too

im sorry, just trying to offer you some experience, hope youre ok OP

SerialKipper · 09/03/2012 18:54

So according to his latest story, last night's message with the in-joke was originally written and sent to you some months ago by his daughter.

Does that sound likely?

Plus ditto to how could he possibly know what last night's message was? And why would he think it was an old delayed message rather than a current message sent by daughter, along with the "who is this" messages.

He's not just a liar, he's a M&S Primark liar.

PeppermintPasty · 09/03/2012 19:02

Do I take it from what you say OP that you're going to bin him? If so good call. He's an exceedingly bad bullshitter. Good luck.

BettyPerske · 09/03/2012 19:08

Mutt Fri 09-Mar-12 18:11:23
What a pile of horseshit.

Why do people grasp around for explanations for this kind of thing when the only explanation is that they are with a fuckwit?

OP - You obviously don't trust him, and with good reason, so why the hell are you still with him and still wanting to believe the unconvincing lies he spouts?
__

Mutt if you read what she's written, she sounds like she's decided he's on his way out. I don't think being so harsh towards the OP will make her feel very good though clearly you mean well.

Mutt · 09/03/2012 19:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FlatCapAndAWhippet · 09/03/2012 19:35

I had numerous experiences like this, he's history ..... lies lies lies, soul destroying.

Proudnscary · 09/03/2012 20:32

What a depressing thread Sad

Hope you are ok OP. But please stop being such a mug.

Every single poster on here can smell the bullshit, why can't you?

foolonthehill · 09/03/2012 21:25

OP not harsh...but you can only smell the bullshit if you take the peg off your nose!

oldqueenie · 09/03/2012 21:43

for goodness sake op.life really is too short for all that crap.... you really can do better.

PooPooInMyToes · 10/03/2012 07:57

Why are people being so harsh towards the op when she has so clearly said she's going to dump him!

BettyPerske · 10/03/2012 08:11

That's what I meant. She's already said she doesn't see a future with him.

I know it's tempting to say something very direct, but I've been on the other side of a hread like this and it makes you feel horrible when people have a go at you...when you're doing your best to leave but it does take a few days of adjustment, you can't be bullied into it, however loud people shout at you Sad So being harsh just doesn't work. It's more likely to make her stop posting.

She'll get there I think, she's on the right track.

PooPooInMyToes · 10/03/2012 09:08

Usually what then happens is that posters start to get stroppy and saying that the op isn't listening to the advice she asked for . . . if she hasn't left within 24 hours!!!

I think what posters need to remember is that they are giving their opinion, not controlling someone else's life, like moving the pieces on a chess board. This isn't a game.

maandpa · 10/03/2012 09:53

I agree PooPooInMyToes