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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What to do - Sexless, but loving marriage

81 replies

spottycup · 07/03/2012 22:54

My wife and I have been married for 3 years and we have a young son.

My wife just doesn't want sex with me, and this didn't start as a result of childbirth. I've tried tackling it head on by talking to her about on a number of occasions and there are always hollow promises about changing things, but after a couple of weeks things are back to normal. I'm alwayts trying to show my wife how much I fancy her and want a great sex life with her, but she's just not interested and I don't know what to do.

I don't want to even think about leaving, but this is eating me up inside and I can't think of anything else to try. This is not something has has happened over night and its ruining my every waking minute. I've gone as far as thinking about killing myself, because that almost feels better than ending our relationship, but its only my mind racing with ideas about having no more options.

She just doesn't want me anymore and I don't think i can bear it.

OP posts:
olgaga · 13/03/2012 13:49

Well we don't actually know if she is expecting him to put up with it. For all we know she is hoping/expecting her libido will return/improve. If she loves him, she won't want to leave him, but she might be expecting he will leave her eventually.

Whatever she is expecting, if she is actually happy with the situation as it is, nothing will change unless OP decides it has to. There's no point in him expecting her to force the issue, or make the decision for him. He must take responsibility for his own decisions.

JC777 · 13/03/2012 15:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YuleingFanjo · 13/03/2012 15:56

men's interest things like carrying bricks, riding bikes really fast down muddy tracks?

OriginalJamie · 13/03/2012 16:42

olgaga - I suppose that's what the OP needs to know once and for all - whether his wife is happy with it or not. And then he can decide. But as you've said, and I agree, I don't think that decision can happen unless they really talk about it.

olgaga · 13/03/2012 16:52

Original yes, I agree. Nothing will change otherwise.

TheMareofCasterbridge · 13/03/2012 20:37

Meltedchocolate: Mare you say about not breaking up with a family but what about when your DCs grow up and leave?

Long time off, but guess then that will be it

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