Tell tale signs DP/DH is lying - please add to the list.

[redrubyshoes]

I have been on Mumsnet for a fair few years with a few name changes along the way.

I pop into relationships quite often and sometimes post but I hear the same story over and over again and I admire SGB and AnyFucker and all the others for sticking with it and giving good advice.

Most of us that post advice have been there and can predict each and every line that will be spun and every lie that will be told. The word 'he' is generic and can be used for all relationships and is not male orientated in any of my posts.

1. I love you but I am not in love with you - has met someone else.

2. I need space to think - has generally met someone else.

3. Hidden mobile phone - has generally met someone else.

4. Unexplained absences coupled with anger upon questioning - something dodgy is going on.

Had all of these with ex-H and I would have posted on MN if I had known of it 12 years ago. I ignored my gut instinct.

I have chosen those four as examples and I may get some innocent person accused of doing something they haven't done.

1. Hidden mobile phone - secret party/holiday/wedding being arranged for loved one

2. Unexplained absences - secret party/holiday/wedding being arranged for loved one

Feel free to flame me or post.

His mouth is moving

1 and 2 in my experience!

I clocked all four with ex H.

In one week!

I think you've covered it with the first four.

Clam

I rest my case.

Yes, so funny - hidden mobile phone and some optimist suggests he's arranging a surprise and couldn't ring on his normal phone in case it gives the game away. Present turns out to be garage carnations.

yep ticked all of those! also (in my case anyway)

1. accusing you of potential infidelity or wanting to

1. increased interest in appearance, going to gym etc

1. starting to re-write history eg exaggerating 'problems' in your relationship and so on

1. seeing old friends not seen for years or new friends a lot (cover story)

1. unfair criticism/picking or trying to start rows

Less chatty, lipstick on collar.

Unwillingness to co-operate.

Moody (more than usual

Meeting up with new friends/new places, dodgy stories about where he went and unusual social hours.

1. increased interest in appearance, going to gym etc

1. starting to re-write history eg exaggerating 'problems' in your relationship and so on

1. seeing old friends not seen for years or new friends a lot (cover story)

1. unfair criticism/picking or trying to start rows

Anything... from what he'd had for breakfast to where he'd been all week. If questioned in any slight way he'd throw a wobbler, scream that I was a fucking useless bitch and then dissapear for another week.... so yup mouth moving for me too

Calm

I meant to add you to the list and not copy your post!

Yes to the gym and YES to NEW friends he has never mentioned before.

arf! am flattered

babyhammock he sounds nice

Lovely I've been put off for life.

...he's breathing!

I had 1, 2, 4, 6, 7 and 8.

God, they really need a better script, don't they?

Mentioning a new colleague's name a lot.

And then never mentioning it.

oops I just realised I started my list at 4 and not 5 oh no! cocking up the list, sorry

redruby mine didn't mention actual name but comments that 'people at work think...' (blah blah) about how marvellous he is/youthful looking and so on

With my ex it is a stutter - can be anywhere in the sentence but a dead give away that he was trying too hard to keep his story straight. Also his voice got much louder so you couldn't interrupt (to knock him off course as he might forget the "true story"..)

When found out they usually play down the importance of girl/alcohol problem/lies and try to make it out as you being prudish/paranoid. Anyone else would just shrug it off, clearly.

yes in my case it was my own fault because I didn't trust him ahhh that explains it

47b - Suddenly needing to spend HOURS fixing/washing cars/not being in the same room as you/on the computer.

He has a cock.

Taking aaaaaages to go and pick up takeaway.

Phone always going onto voicemail when you call and the reason being signal problems / phone playing up

Yes general criticism of the way you are/ breath/ walk/ talk/ do your hair/ relate to other people etc

"He has a cock"

Funny, BigGirl (well I sniggered, but I am a Bad Person), but not entirely fair. After all, in most cases the cheating spouse is cheating with a woman, who is quite often another cheating spouse.