Have name-changed for this since DH sometimes googles my mn nickname to see what I've been posting.
This is a long one so thankyou if you manage to get though it!
Firstly, I've been married for 11 years, with DH for 13 since we were 18. We have a 4 month old dd.
I'm very very unhappy being with DH and the arrival of DD has made things worse - it's just something else for us to disagree on! I suppose I'm just going to use this as a place to vent about everything and try to get other people's perspective. And before anyone says so, yes I have tried to talk to him about it. He says that I'm the one with the problem so if I don't like it I can leave and if I haven't left then it can't be that bad.
So I'll split this into the main areas that we disagree on.
Housework - when we got married, for some crazy reason (probably because I was mainly raised by my nan and it is her viewpoint) I decided that I wanted to be a "good" wife and take care of my husband by basically doing everything around the house. Initially I was at university while he worked so I was at home more than him so it seemed logical that I did the housework and cooked dinner (even though I worked evenings and weekends). Once I finished university, I had a job where I worked 8-4 whilst he worked 9-5 so again I was home before him. In his opinion, this meant that I had more time to do housework than him and so I continued to do it, and ensure dinner was on the table when he got home. I then trained as a teacher which means that I "finish" work at 3 although I then spend evenings and weekends working but still he thinks the house is all my responsibility. Now I'm on maternity leave it's even worse. He does nothing at home except moan about the state of the house or that his ironing isn't done or that dinner isn't done or, if I've cooked chicken burgers and chips for example, it's not a proper dinner.
Evenings - he plays some sort of sport at least 3 evenings a week and on Saturdays. He uses this as another reason why I should be looking after the house - because I'm at home while he is out doing leisure activities! He says it's not his fault I'm too lazy to persue a hobby (which isn't true, I enjoy things such as reading which he doesn't agree is an acceptable leisure activity for me).
Sex - he thinks that my body belongs to him and that I owe him sex, even if I don't want it. He gets progressively meaner whith name calling and comments (see later) as days without sex go by until I give in just to get him off my back. He thinks he is entitled to put his hand in my bra or molest me whenever he wants to. We never cuddle because I know that for him it has to be sexual. He didn't speak to me all day on Sunday becuase I didn't want sex with him on Saturday evening after we had been at a family party - he felt he should have been rewarded for enduring the whole party. It's always about his gratification anyway, I've told him things I would like him to do but he never does them.
Comments and name-calling - when we first got together, I didn't mind so much the name-calling, I thought it was a bit of a laugh. I don't find it funny anymore and I've told him and he wont stop because he says that I shouldn't have a problem with it. His latest name for me is "MB" which stands for mega-bitch. He uses it all of the time instead of my name e.g. "MB do you want a cup of tea". He changes it every few months, I've lost track of most of them but he went through a phase of calling me Pot-pot once because I'm a pot-bellied pig.
He constantly mutters little comments like "it's unreasonable of you to go out when the ironing isn't done", "have you seen my football top, I doubt it's been washed", "we've got no milk, I can't believe you haven't bought any" among others.
There are mental health issues in my family and I suffer from depression which I control really well! He says that he has "taught me how to behave like a normal person" and constantly tells me that we don't have any problems in our relationship, it's all in my head.
DD - he had told me I cuddle her too much and spend too much time playing with her. He feels I should sit her in front of the tv more often so that I can get on with the housework.
Finally, he thinks he knows everything about everything.
There is more but this post is mammoth as it is! I hate being here but he makes me feel as though I'm the problem and I suppose I am. I don't want the same sort of relationship I wanted when I was 18. I want to be loved and respected and treated as an equal. Am I wrong to have issues with the above points?