Guardian soulmates - is it just me who can't understand what everyone is on about?

[nkf]

I had a look. Just tentatively thinking I might, just might, one day, consider trying a bit of online dating.

So I take a look at Guardian Soulmates. Is every man on there a frustrated poet? I wasn't sure what half of them were on about.

I can't even parody what they were saying. It was all so odd.

Is it just me?

Just me then.

I met my DH on speeddater - don't want to think what that says about us!

Is that part of the Guardian? Sorry, being a bit thick here. Don't know where to start.

I assume it's like MN, you have to hang around a lot because they develop a code to detect people who are One Of Us.

Works v well apparently judging from the number of Soulmates marriages/babies I know.

Ok. I get it. There are hidden messages.

Will attemt to crack the codes

Speeddater is a website that was set up by the people who run speeddating. Same as all online sites I think!

Luckily this was 7 years ago and Nigerian lurve scammers were not very prolific!

Are there hidden messages on mn?

Oh yes. Like those Satanic message that people always claim were on Heavy Rock albums.

No

Male friend tried Guardian Soulmates - he said most of the women on there seem to be highly paid, intellectual media types. He said he preferred match.com

Maybe I should look at something else. Is it normal to begin your profiles by saying you've never done this sort of thing before.

And what is a poet and scholar? It sounds positively Renaissance.

I do actually think 'I haven't tried this before' is standard practice. It sort of sets the tone maybe?

Is it code for "I'm not desperate?"

I don't really speak this code.

But to me "poet and scholar" would mean away with the fairies, and like a lighthouse in a desert, brilliant but useless.

Maybe - or just 'i'm normal' I want to meet someone the traditional way, but modern life is different, and I'd rather try this than die alone'?

That's okay then. I might try that line myself.

Just get stuck in. If you keep your wits about you then you should have fun with it. I had to kiss a few frogs, but it was definitely worth it

Can I ask - how do you go about the finding out about someone? It's been years since I dated (terrible word.) But when I went out with people, I met them through people I already knew.

I'm hot, you're clever
I don't really like the name Trevor
Looking for someone who's not a freak
If you want the same, come and have a peek

I'm a poet but I'm not a scholar. Feel free to use the above as I've got plenty more where that came from. You're welcome.

I tried GS. Not one single contact, and no I couldn't make head or tail of them either.

Maybe we're too normal not the GS type?

Maybe that's it. All those thinkers and talkers and the stuff about the weather. I felt very square and dull. And everyone was in the theatre or made indie films.

Go with your instincts. Chat, Text, phone, MSN, email...

When you're ready, meet in a public place, let people know where you're going. Keep it short to start with. Go from there. Try and enjoy it, but do trust your instincts.

Thanks for your encouragement. I think I will give it a go.

Lots and lots of my friends go on Soulmates (with some, but not general, success).

We They are all hideously pretentious and media-ey/arty, and do things like lecture on global media development/set up social enterprises/lobby government on providing hempen sandals/write books/compose operas and live in East London or Islington getting excited about Vietnamese bubble tea

I can just imagine the kind of ghastly self-regarding Borges-quoting drivel on that site and indeed have seen some of it first hand.

Match.com's a bit less wanky I think,.