The Brave Babes Battle Bus - On Their Way To Giving Up The Booze For Lent (or just for today)

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

Welcome to the Brave Babes Bus where you'll find a mix of drinker, non drinkers, those who has been sober for a long time, and those who are getting there One Day At A Time.

Come and say hi....... we won't bite

And if you want to know how this all got started, HERE is a link to the previous threads.

ALGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Fab to see you here lovely xxx

hello!

yes algee, 2 years end of may!

btw, why not stick around for a while, i know you dont like posting personal stuff and thats fine, just stay and chat in general?, it would be lovely to have you back and it might just help? anyway, whats the new area like? sounds pretty remote, i often get this idea that i would like dh and i to sell up and move to a remote scottish island or a tiny hamlet in darkest france,(i see myself wafting about in long drapy clothes with flowers in my hair dh likes to point out that i would go like jonny in The Shining after 3 weeks , what! no shoe shops or make-up counters, no street lights and mud free pavements, no restaurants or galleries! he also reminds me that my ultimate goal is to retire to wapping to a flat overlooking the river

Big Deep Breath and....

Hi. Me again.

Being brave and sticking it out instead of hiding (which is easier).

I am drinking again but managed not to drink anything last night - which was nothing short of a miracle.

Already feel stressed that there is nothing in the house to drink tonight.

I know I can do it. I did 7 nights. But - right now - it feels like I dont want to do it. Just to give in to it all.

Im all a bit doom and gloom. Bit lost. Bit tired.

Mr Blanket most unhelpfully doesnt want to drink as he is in training for the marathon. Fume fume.... But my brain is saying that I should get a bottle in and be half way though it by the time he comes back from his run. I could just sit in the side car for a bit.

I must and I shall cheer up. I have to make 2 red and blue 'flea' costumes by 5pm tonight. I have some red pipe cleaners and a red scarf.... ?

Wish me luck.

:o)

Venus - thank you. x

Blanket - I'm pleased you're back posting

I'm sorry that I upset you last night, clearly I got my wires crossed re you drinking or not.

My problem with Sarah's style of posting is mine and I'm the one who needs to deal with that. I guess I can be a little over protective of the Bus at times.

Can I ask why you are worried about there being no booze in the house if DH isn't drinking? Are you drinking on a more regular basis now?

Hello everyone, I am a Lurker but just want to say that I am day 31!!!

I decided to give up alcohol for Lent hoping that by the end of it my habits would have changed and it is working. I don't think about it as much and now that the initial sleepless nights and waking with a headache have stopped, I am really feeling the benefits.

Not sure whats going to happen after Easter though

Just wanted to tell the people who are struggling that it does get easier.

Feebz xx

Hi there, (tries to creep on quietly) feeling very ashamed.

Good to see your post Feebz - yes it is surprising that it gets easier, there have been times when I thought I'd never get even a moment of peace from the chattering demon. So don't worry NOW about what will happen after Easter. But enjoy feeling in control, enjoy waking up in the morning feeling OK-ish, enjoy knowing that a habit doesn't have to be for ever.

Blanket - a promise is a promise Ahh how well I know that kind of thinking "If I get a bottle in now, and drink half of it, (he'll not see that bit) and then when he arrives I'll offer him a glass - he might say yes (OK, so I'll lose a little bit of the bottle, 'cos I know he won't drink much) or he might say no, in which case I will feel entirely justified and not-guilty when i sit with him companionably and drink half a bottle of wine (well it's only half a bottle!)" Your exact sript might be differnet, but I'm guessing that it is equally as non-sensical, because that is how our convoluted drinking minds can go.

So can you write a different script for this evening, perhaps one that says "I think I can manage the next 3/4/5 hours drinking tea. Hell it's only a few hours. I'd do it if I was at work. And anyway, I can always go and look at that Brave Babes thread where there are those difficult argumentative, irritating people"

Hi Feebz - I admire anyone who can give up booze even for one night, tbh. Blanket - I so know how you feel.

I was thinking today about the lies I tell myself about my drinking. Here are some:

1. Most people are unhealthy - overweight, smoke, don't take exercise. So, what is wrong with me drinking when I am slim, non smoking and take loads of exercise?

1. I need a few glasses of an evening - it keeps me sane and happy.

1. Wine can be good for you.

1. I don't drink that much.

1. I didn't drink that much last night.

1. I won't drink that much tonight.

1. I don't have a problem.

1. I can't stop so there's no point in trying.

1. It's my only luxury.

There are many more :(

I think my behaviour is quite alcoholic - thinking about wine a lot, feeling guilty, feeling defiant (I want to drink so sod it), feeling sneaky. Throwing out the empty bottles regularly so they don't build up. Keeping some bottles on the wine rack all the time without drinking them so it looks like I am not drinking that much, even though I buy several bottles a week. I could go on :(

As for triggers - well, you wouldn't believe some of mine. The main one is early evening, child has been fed, tv is on and the bottle is chilling in the fridge. That is a common trigger. However, I have also got into the habit of watching Songs Of Praise (I am not a church goer and have no idea why I like this programme, I just do lol - so middle aged) and it's so much better with a drink... I can't believe I just wrote that...

blanket flea costumes must have blue pants on their heads to make a sort of 'bug-eyed' look, nad blue/red tight on legs and arms, plus 2 extra legs round the middle.

howdy all. blanket good to see you back and a big hi to algee. anyone heard from ruby or noteven?

JWN you rock!

Now, what the hell are we going to get indie to wear for her big day? Are you doing a hat? boy, I foresee some fun with this one. indie we need vital stats - height, weight, norkage, haircolour......

Hello Mouse - its my fault the wires got crossed. I stopped for a week courtesey of the Babes and then had a bottle, day off, then another bottle, then half a day off and another bottle and a half and last night was a really difficult night off...

I confused everyone so sorry about that.

Im anxious because DH will come home, then immediately go out running and I wont be able to leave the house (DCs in bed asleep by then) to get some wine. So I have to get some in NOW or do without.....

Im fighting it. Venus - thats EXACTLY how it goes. If I get some in now probably 2 bottles then I can start drinking without the shame and disapproving looks from DH then when he get home he might have one. Wont matter if he does have one because I have two bottles in....

Seeing that in black and white is a bit of a dampner.... How sordid am I?

Feebz - 31 days is AMAZING. I just cant imagine it. Have you even left the house? Socialised? How...?

Greyhound. I drink the minute I trip happily down the stairs after putting the DCs to bed. Its my trigger. And sometimes I havent the strength to fight the fight.

Tonight. I may have to go to bloody bed again the second I put the boys to bed......

Its good to talk you know - Ive always felt that. Thank you for listening.

x

Good ideas for Blanket there venus, actually, we'd all benefit from giving them a try

Hello Feebz, nice to meet you don't worry about Easter until it arrives, and then deal with the booze demon. I know that's easy to say, but the more you think and worry about it, the more the monster will grow until it swallows you up.

You've done 31days, done and dusted, well bloody done! , I hope that this Bus has given you some support in those days?

Stay, maybe take a seat? You could sit with me in the naughty corner I'm in it as I'm off to celebrate (finally) my friend's new job. Only two weeks late but hey, we all have lives outside of work, school, Mumsnet, .......

Grey - great reasons to drink there my lovely. As you rightly say, there are so many more we could all think of and use.

I'm loving your Songs Of Praise confession!

IsinDe - was it you asking after Moomin? I still speak to her via text in RL , and SAF is fine, just getting on with life.

Hi Blanket - I know what you mean. I try and get the booze in so I know there is enough in and I don't fret about it any more. I think going to bed is actually a really good idea. If you think about it, alcohol dependency is an illness and you are treating it as one by going to bed. Right now, I'm already looking forward to my stupid **ing wine - grrrrr. I usually start at about six, sometimes a bit earlier. Like a lot of problem drinkers, I have a few 'rules' that make me feel 'in control'. That is, I never drink during the day, never touch spirits, that kind of think. Of course, I am still a complete pisshead...

ma binbags would have to be white/cream/beige -'tis a WEDDING after all. Nearest thing I have is our Christmas Pudding binbags like this or maybe these goldfish ones WHITEANDGOLDWEDDINGWEDDINGDRESS

Oh Blanket - I so know that feeling. I suppose that because I've taken the pressure off myself, I don't often get that anymore.

There is always wine in the house as DH has a little wine cellar so has wine delivered every quarter. The funny thing is, I've gone right off white wine and prefer the taste of red these days.

I find with white, if I have two glasses, I feel like Deep Fried Dog Vomit the next day, but not so with red.

I'm guessing that is down to the chemicals that they use in white wine?

Anyway, Blanket - do you want to stop again or just cut down? Just today, what do you want for today?

oh so that means I have also done 31 days Feebz as I gave up for Lent. I have lost count of the days, can I just say that again, I have lost count of the days because it really doesn't occupy my every waking thought .

Its not been too bad. I have felt bored sometimes and almost every evening I would like a drink, but I can honestly say it has not been an immense struggle.

One thing though: we have had no wine at all in the house in all that time. I think that is very important for me.

Blanket don't go and get wine, tell yourself you could perhaps have some tomorrow - then again you might not - but not tonight eh? If you manage two nights off in a row then your liver will be v grateful.

mouse were you thinking that it would be a good idea for us all to put pants on our heads to get a 'bug-eyed' look. Fuck, my dh would think I was back on the sauce again. Maybe it was an earlier post you were referring to

, er, yes, the earlier post venus

greyhound my favourite word in relation to your post is the silent 'YET'. Not applying that to you, but for me.So my favourite excuses were:

• I don't (yet) have a drink when I am on my own
• I don't (yet) drink drink and drive the car
• I don't (yet) drink during the daytime

etc, etc, etc

And I could shamefully add after each of those statements "until the day I did it for the first time"

For me, the problem with the slippery slope is that it is very very difficult to hang on and stay in the same place. So gradually, and gradually I slipped, half a glass at a time (sometimes a lurch of half a bottle at a time)....

OK, I'm leaving for a couple of hours to check my Moroccan Lamb Tagine (which has been cooking gently for 3 hours already), stuff my roasted peppers with cous-cous and herbs, and see whether my rosewater and raspberry jelly has set.

I had no idea how much being here meant to me, and how much ot helped to preserve my sobriety, until I thought I'd lost it. All of you (lurking, posting, whatever) - thank you.

Venus - I have found the perfect pants and they look brilliant. Am well chuffed with that idea. Ill post a pic when its all done. Thank you.
Mouse - for some reason (is it a full f*&cking moon or something) I just want to drink. Tonight/tomorrow..... Its my birthday on Thursday and I know Im going out and will be drinking - so I feel like I cant get a clear run up to it all....
I dont know. I dont understand myself.
There isnt really any opportunity for wine getting. So maybe circumstances will conspire against me and that will be enough for another night off... Ill try bibbity. :)
Sorry its all me me me.... Ill try harder.

Blanket - that was me at Christmas, my birthday is shortly after and New Year was in between. I was always 'I'll start after then' mentality with me.

The way I see it, if you want to drink, then drink. If you try not too, you'll end up tying yourself in knots about it. You'll pile the guilt on to yourself for no reason at all. It's a few drinks right?

I'm out soon as well, and I know that I'm going to have a drink tonight. I want to, I can, and I will. I'm not being flippant about drinking, it's a very nasty way to pickle your organs but if I try not too, I'll drink ten times more because of my own guilt, is any of this making sense?

Blanket - the thing you need to watch is not telling anyone how you feel, hiding your desire for a drink. I know that panic all too well, the 'there's no wine' panic. I used to get cold sweats if there wasn't a drop of booze in the house.

If you can drink in a controlled manner tonight, JUST FOR TONIGHT then great.

Start your night with a soft drink, then wine. Make sure you're not hungry, make sure you're not thirsty so you don't neck that first glass of wine.

Try and limit yourself to three glasses of wine for tonight. If you go past it, oh well, if you stay under the three, bloody great.

You just have to think about what it is you want from the booze, what is it it's going to give you?

right - i have to post a little something about the debacle of the last few days and then i will never mention it again - i pmed sarah last night in the hope that we could move forward, put the crap behind us and start again, she has come back to me today, unfortuanatly she has said that posting here is not for her right now but that she is in touch with a few people and will help them in the future, i think that is great of her, i do think that there is a place for her type of style as it obviously suits some people and hey, if it works for them then i have no business knocking it - soemthing she did say that disturbs me is that there is a percieved 'clique' on this thread and that it intimidates some would be posters, this worrys me, certainly i do not see the place as 'cliquey', i hate that type of thing as i think it shows a certain closed judgemental type of attitude

• what i would say is this, if you are a lurker and you feel you cant post openly on teh thread, pick a 'babe' you think would be most likely to be of help to you and pm them! (people do this to me all the time, im always surprised and flattered, never irritated or annoyed, if no one had answered my plea for help i dread to think where i would be by now) we have all been to the bottom and back to some degree, some further than others, are all fairly unshockable (we may well have done some/all/loads more, of the things that you are ashamed and worried about) and the purpose of being here is to sort ourselves out and possibly lend a bit of support to other people in the process.

despite what has happened over the last few days, newcomers will always be welcome here, we all enjoy having new babes to chat with, learn from etc etc, any new ideas for beating this are definatly always welcome!

thank you lovely babes, im now off to decide what to wear this evening (business dinner with 2 very hard drinking nordics, dont ask! )

btw, isindi, monsoon have a lovely range of little girls dresses more than suitable for flower girls, not so expensive that you will cry when the ice cream goes down them!

Ok I'm on glass number three and it won't be the last. I am glad I joined this thread as this problem is bigger than I am and at least I know that I am not alone.