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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Anyone ever got to the grand old age of 30 and NEVER been married?

79 replies

MuckyStudent · 29/02/2012 07:54

I'm 30 with a string of crap half arsed relationships behind me. I'm now staying single until the right one comes along - but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't bothered about marriage. I'm 30 and never even got close Sad

Anyone else got to this age without ever wearing a ring? Anyone else passed this age who ended up acquiring a ring for the first time post 30?

OP posts:
tanfastic · 29/02/2012 07:56

I never met my husband until I was 32, marrried at 34. Before that I'd never even lived with anyone let alone been engaged.

froggers1 · 29/02/2012 07:57

Me - married at 32, first baby at 34!! All will be fine x

MuckyStudent · 29/02/2012 07:58

Thank you, that's reassuring x

climbs back down from the shelf

OP posts:
LackaDAISYcal · 29/02/2012 07:59

30 isn't old! And marriage isn't the be all and end all you know, it's not the 1950s Wink

But in answer to your question, I didn't tie the knot till I was 36. I did have a moment, when I was 33 with a baby and an ex where I despaired, but it was more about being on my own rather than being unmarried.

BelleDameSansMerci · 29/02/2012 07:59

I'm 46 and never married... I wouldn't worry. You're very young.

squeakytoy · 29/02/2012 08:01

Met when I was 31, married at 33, married ten years this year. :)

HappyAsASandboy · 29/02/2012 08:01

I got married at 30, and was one of the first of my friends.

Don't worry about it, there's plenty if time Smile

solidgoldbrass · 29/02/2012 08:02

Right, I win. I am 47 and have never been married. And I am actually rather proud of the fact. It means I have always had the self-esteem and sense and luck to bolt away from relationships that simply weren't working.
Look on it that way, OP, much better unmarried than married to a dickhead.

AKissIsNotAContract · 29/02/2012 08:02

30 is not old. I've just turned 30 and I'm not married yet.

MuckyStudent · 29/02/2012 08:03

I know it shouldn't bother me but I suppose I would just like to know that someone loved me enough to want to marry me. I've never had that before. All I've ever had is relationships were it was "easier" to stay together rather than split. Or, in the last case - more convenient to be with me rather than have to go out and do the whole dating thing again. Why bother with all that when I provided everything he needed (sex and a bit of company for the weekends).

I've over it though! I am joining the gym, got friends, got a career going - I don't "need" a man now, I would just like one to fill in that last piece at some point. Admittedly it feels rather empowering to know that he's not actually "needed".

OP posts:
MrsDmitriTippensKrushnic · 29/02/2012 08:06

Well I'm the only one out of my friends who is married, but most of them are in long term relationships anyway (and highly unlikely to bother)

More relevantly both my sister (36 atm) and my best friend (40) are neither in relationships, nor have ever been married or engaged. I don't think they're that bothered though - neither of them are that fussed about having children so they don't feel that they're working against the clock to have that kind of relationship.

squeakytoy · 29/02/2012 08:06

I would bet that the statistics for marriage would show that those who get married in their 30's tend to stay married for longer.

I know if I had married any of the blokes I went out with/lived with in my 20's I would not have stayed with them.

Everyone who I know who got married in their early or mid twenties has now got divorced, and those who I know who got married later are still together.

StellaAndFries · 29/02/2012 08:08

I am 30 and have never married, I have been with dp for 8 years and have 4 children though, we just can't afford to pay for his divorce, so now wedding in sight yet.

8rubberduckies · 29/02/2012 08:10

Yep! 35 and proudly unmarried! I met my partner at 31 and we have two amazing children. I'm pretty sure it's more the norm to be unmarried at 30 nowadays, although I sympathise because I was worried that there didn't seem to be many decent men about 5 years ago. More importantly though, I had a lovely flat, a good job, a truckload of friends and all the spare time I needed to do all the things I wanted to do... Oh, I forget, plus the maturity to appreciate it. in my 30th year I went away to Sicily and New York and planned a trip to NZ the following year.
I now work part time, spend all my spare time doing housework and my holiday last year was a week camping in Wales Grin.

ifancyashandy · 29/02/2012 08:11

42 & never been married or asked. Or lived with anyone. Been single since 2005. Sometimes it bothers me, sometimes it doesn't. Especially when I see some of the inequality in friends relationships & marriages.

Good social life, good friends & good health are worth tonnes.

Aworryingtrend · 29/02/2012 08:12

My friends and I all turn 30 this year and there are more who are not married than are.

DaenerysTargaryenButCallMeDany · 29/02/2012 08:13

I'm 30 and not married but I've been with dp for nearly 9 years so I should be really Hmm

MsF1t · 29/02/2012 08:18

Was married early 20s- huge mistake I am still paying for. I met my partner at 35, and am now 38: we have a baby and are about to buy a house. I think we've made the most important commitments from our point of view, without getting married (we are not religious).

Read some of the threads on here- marriage etc is not to be rushed into.

You are but a stripling. Enjoy your freedom while you still have it. Looks wistfully into the distance...

BillyBollyBandy · 29/02/2012 08:18

I got married at 30, bf 34 not married, db and dsil were both mid 30's when they got married, various other assorted friends in their 30s when married.

I have 1 friend who got married before she was 30 and she was 29 and 10 months Grin

ALL my friends have been in their 30's. You have loads of time to find the right guy.

StrawberryMojito · 29/02/2012 08:20

I am getting married this year aged 32. I have unmarried friends of the same age and two of my friends that did marry in their 20s are now divorced in their 30s (both left their husbands), one is still single, the other is dating a man 10 years younger.

toptramp · 29/02/2012 08:43

Although I want to get married I am so glad I had my twenties to party, study, travel and be a general irresponsible idiot! There is no way I was ready then as I had an abusive relationship in my teens. I am the oldest of my cousins at 33 and i am the only one not married or even in a relationship!

redridingwolf · 29/02/2012 08:54

Married at 36, first baby 5 months later :)

Step · 29/02/2012 08:59
  1. I took my time.
CailinDana · 29/02/2012 09:00

I'm nearly 30 and I am married, but none of my friends that are a similar age are married. In fact the youngest friend I have who is married is 34. I think it's more unusual to be married at 30 than it is to be single. I certainly feel an odd one out! I think when you meet someone at 30 or over it's more likely to be something serious than to be a fling, so the chances of going out with someone that you eventually marry are much higher, if that makes sense.

SardineQueen · 29/02/2012 09:02

I didn't meet the right one til I was 32. In 6 years we have got engaged, married, bought a house and had two children! By that time and with a lot of crappy boyfriends under my belt and a 7 year living together thing that I always knew wasn't right, I knew a good one when I saw him. He was red hot keen too and so it was full steam ahead! We are very besotted happy Smile

DH is 5 years younger BTW. Go younger - less baggage Grin

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