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Relationships

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Original poster

Anyone ever got to the grand old age of 30 and NEVER been married?

79 replies

MuckyStudent · 29/02/2012 07:54

I'm 30 with a string of crap half arsed relationships behind me. I'm now staying single until the right one comes along - but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't bothered about marriage. I'm 30 and never even got close

Anyone else got to this age without ever wearing a ring? Anyone else passed this age who ended up acquiring a ring for the first time post 30?

OP posts:

Ilovedaintynuts · 29/02/2012 09:12

Married at 33 here.
I was quite shocked at the question actually. Round these here parts no-one gets married BEFORE the age of 30!

lookbutdonttouch · 29/02/2012 09:16

35 not married. Been with DP for years and it gets discussed but no actual movement as yet. There are tricky reasons which I cant go into as I will out myself.

Get off the shelf OP and brush the dust off, years yet, just so long as you dont have twelve cats already

GetOrfMoiiLand · 29/02/2012 09:19

OP are you Bridget Jones?

I am 34, never been married, nor am I likely to bother.

It's not the be all and end all. Just be thankful that you didn't marry any of the lunchpackets you refer to in your OP and had to go through a costly and stressful divorce.

Meglet · 29/02/2012 09:20

Never married, or been asked and I'm nearly 38. Me and XP did plan to at some point but it all went tits up.

Anyway, there's no need to get married anymore as Lacroix has gone out of business so there's nothing worth wearing .

Bunbaker · 29/02/2012 09:20

"Everyone who I know who got married in their early or mid twenties has now got divorced, and those who I know who got married later are still together."

I must be the exception that proves the rule. I got married in 1981 aged 22 and am still happily married

chiefexecutive · 29/02/2012 09:22

Met my husband at 35. Married at 37. I'm glad I waited for the right one to come along. He is wonderful!

I did waste a lot of time before that though in a relationship that was going nowhere (and really messed my head up). My advice would be to spend your time wisely, be clear on what YOU want and the right one will turn up.

Good luck!

iseenodust · 29/02/2012 09:24

Got together with DH at 30. Married at 37, firmly believe in try before you buy . Was proposed to in 20's but declined.

StrawberrytallCAKE · 29/02/2012 09:26

I am 29 (2 months off 30) and got married at 28. None of my friends are married and they are all a few years older than me. They are all in relationships because they are scared of being on their own though, please never do that! Just get on with your life and marry the right person not the person who gets there first and wants to marry you.

All the girls in sex and the city are in their 30's

GhastlyBespoke · 29/02/2012 09:27

My DSis is 34. Never married, never engaged, never really had a serious relationship.

THEN, she came out when she was 31. She has since embraced the Gay scene with abandon so whether she is actively looking for a relationship or not I don't know but she's having a damn good time in the meantime.

Trills · 29/02/2012 09:30

Your title makes me want to say "yes, lots of people you weirdo".

jasminerice · 29/02/2012 09:32

I got married at 31. I have friends of 40+ who have never been married. It's no big deal. Enjoy your freedom and be selfish while you still can!

seaofyou · 29/02/2012 09:32

The average age for kids to leave home in UK was 34 yrs and may be higher now! So I guess most people get married/move in with partner at that age.

So your still a youngester!

It is the 'typical' OMG I am 30 and my biological clock is now ticking!!!!' They need to move it to 35-40yrs these days. I'm late 30's never married and never will. It doesn't bother me as rather be alone than in a bad relationship.

Happylander · 29/02/2012 09:33

I am 39. Sort of married at 37 (long story had to cancel legal bit as ex first wife pulled the divorce and reused to put it back for over 2 years but outside ceremony at one of my favourite places as a kid was all booked and paid for so went ahead with it. Oh and I wasn't the OW as far as I knew) Anyway thought he was fab turns out just another shit one and he left me for for someone else and has been a total arsehole since.

However, I do have a lovely DS out of relationship so it is worth all the crap I am now going through. I have plenty of friends over 30 that are married and loads under that are too. Don't rush or worry about it. I know I will reign in my heart next time and make sure they are worthy of my time and sparkling company than risk falling for another selfish idiot.

SardineQueen · 29/02/2012 09:37

I assume that married in this context is shorthand for serious relationship / children. Rather than meaning the people who are not married but been with their partners for years and have kids IYSWIM

feelokaboutit · 29/02/2012 09:40

Hi Muckystudent - I can understand the need for a long term close relationship that works but I don't think being married itself is the be all and end all. I would advise to be completely finanically independent before joining lives with someone else, and to keep that independence as a safeguard should everything go wrong. At 43 and with three children (which I am really happy about ) I am now in the position of being totally dependent (financially) which with hindsight I really would not do again. It means that I could part from dh if I wanted to of course, but not without going through some horrible court battle over who owns what and what is due to me etc... Much better to be independent and be with somebody because you love THEM, not that you cannot leave the whole set up because you would lose so much.

I totally understand that you want intimacy, warmth, closeness etc.. (as do I since this is not part of the package any more between dh and I ) and you possibly want children... I think all these things are possible and they will happen to you, but the word MARRIAGE always sounds like a prison to me now... I know lots will disagree however and it is based on my own experience....

Good luck finding the love you want - it'll come along when you are not looking .

spicyorange · 29/02/2012 09:41

Im 31 never been married have been with my dp 10 years just never got round to it and cannot see us getting married anytime soon, happy the way we are.

littlemisssarcastic · 29/02/2012 09:42

I am 39, have never been married, have had one live in relationship that went tits up, and not had any other serious relationships apart from that.

I am not over the moon about it, because I rather hoped I would have met someone lovely and had DC with my DH, but that's not the way my life has turned out.

PeppermintPasty · 29/02/2012 09:43

I hope so SardineQueen! I can't believe that anyone would lament not being married ##faints##

I'm 43 and have never and would never marry. It's all a load of old tosh, as far as I'm concerned, I've never ever seen the need for it, except maybe for the big party. But you can just have a big party any time right?

SardineQueen · 29/02/2012 09:43

I really think it is, patsy!

Alternative is surely very unlikely!

Allthewhitehorsesarestillinbed · 29/02/2012 09:45

I've been engaged three times, does that count? I am a collector of rings

I'm 31, most of my people are married but I probably won't be getting married for a couple of years to DP. I'm a bit nonplussed about it to be honest. Our DD bonds us pretty tightly :)

MrsEricBana · 29/02/2012 09:45

Same as you then fell in love with my best male friend from uni, engaged 3 months later, married 2 weeks before turned 31, 14 years married this year. Do not worry at all! (and definitely don't rush and mary the wrong one now!)

frumpet · 29/02/2012 09:46

32 when i got married , 30 is still young nowadays tbh .

JugglingWithTangentialOranges · 29/02/2012 09:58

Like froggers I got married at 32 and had first baby at 34 (second at 36)
We'd been together since we were students though - so about ten years.

I heard on the radio that women who became mothers for the first time at 34 were statistically optimally the happiest ie. best age to have your first in term's of happiness and satisfaction about life journey.

Hope that might cheer you up

I reckon being 30 and being free to choose your man is a great position to be in !
Experienced and wise enough to make a good choice !
Enjoy the selection process

Kellywestie · 29/02/2012 09:59

30 when I got married, DH was 31 (22 years ago this Christmas) which was probably late at that time but certainly not now. We had our DS 11 years later, born 3 months before my 42nd birthday. You are a spring chicken - enjoy yourself.

solidgoldbrass · 29/02/2012 10:01

OK I got sort-of-engaged about 3 times when young and daft, but never got as far as actually living with anyone. Honestly OP, it isn't compulsory. And statistics would appear to show that, for all the rubbish propaganda about single women being freaks and failures, it;s actually men who are far keener on marriage and benefit from it much more, because the majority of men still see a wife as someone to look after them and prioritize their needs and their ego.

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