Pil have just arrived home after a three day visit. Fil texted to say thanks and that mil cried most of the way home, saying how much she misses the gcs and how desperately they love them.
This kind of thing makes me really cross. Why does he need to tell us that? I feel it's part of their emotional blackmail style of life. And I'm beginning to feel that it's going to really encroach on us once fil retires next month.
Mil is only 59, doesn't work, has never worked and actively refuses to pursue any interests. Her response to any suggestions made is, "I'm only interested in the gcs. What else do I need?" Neither sets of gcs live in the same city as pil. Fil doesn't have any hobbies either.
Mil tells me she watches daytime tv and looks at photos of the gcs all day long. 
. Oh she might walk her dog. That's all she says she does whilst fil is at work.
Now, there's nothing I can do about that even though I find it a touch creepy if it's actually true. Why would someone able bodied and compos mentis just sit and look at photos all day long? What a waste.
She says she feels she should be able to see her gcs every day and spend time with them and that because we don't live in the same town as her, it's the cause of her depression.
ANYWAY, dh telephones them several times a week and he gives them a blow by blow account of what the gcs have been doing each and every day, what we've bought, what things have cost us and other details. Plus he skypes them every Friday night with the gcs.
I feel like pil are with us all the time, knowing exactly what we are doing, how we are doing it and how much it costs. I feel like dh reports on everything we do.
Frankly, I actually feel stalked even though they live 127 miles away. I hate it. I don't really want anyone knowing exactly what we're doing all the time, how much my new coffee table cost and how many times the dcs farted that morning. Why would anyone want to know that?
I would like dh to stop making these calls so often because I feel it totally facilitates mil's refusal to get her own life and keep busy. She says she's not busy in an accusing way as if it's our fault. Even if she did live near by, there is no way I'd want her around all that often anyway because she would simply centre her life around ours and I do not want to be responsible for her in that way.
I hate that sense of pressure that we feel when dh can't skype one time and fil sends him an email saying how upset mil gets when it's not been possible. I feel like they look to dh to make them happy, they simply can't be bothered to make a life for themselves and they definitely feel indignant that they can't revolve around us. He definitely feels guilt and obligation. I'm of the view that why on earth should he? They are grown ups and responsible for their own happiness.
Grrr. If they did have an active and full life of their own, the irony is I would feel far less irritated because it would all balanced. When fil retires, they are both going to be bored and both are going to start leaning on us simply because they can't be arsed to pursue anything else.
My own parents are equally loving to the gcs but have many hobbies and interests that keep them happy, active and engaged whilst still keeping in very active contact with us.
Why the difference?