Smitten with dp but he's a bad, baaad kisser...help!

[JingleBallsAndMistletoe]

Hello, i'm after some advice, in fact i'm desperate for it!

I've found myself a amazing man and altho I cant find many faults he is THE worst kisser i have ever met and i dont think i can take one more of them.

Every single time we kiss i have to wipe my face after, and even if i could get past the dribbling the actual smooch is awful too, he just pokes his tongue in and out or if its a full on snoggy snog he'll stick it out and just leave it out, I understand i sound really harsh but I was hoping some wonderful mn advice would help me.

I've tried to tell him re the tongue, and have done the whole let me kiss you thing and now i'm at a loss, The odd thing is, the sex is fab..as long as i get him to kiss my neck instead of my mouth so how do i go about making the kisses better? I've started turning my head now(not meaning to) and feel awful so please, any tips?!

Thank you xx

This man's kisses sound awful. You can't teach him, it's instinctive. And it's such an important part of a relationship. I think it's a dealbreaker. If it isn't now, it will be in the end. Poor you :(

Thats not a bad shout actually ( being higher/on top-tho that means i have to do all the work!)

Blondes, my friend says 'i've just cum in me pants' all the time, always slightly louder than it needs to be and usually about a bloke who is still in earshot...classy!!

I did the no tongue thing last night and let me kiss u thing, think i might just keep doing it till he gets the hint..or get bladdered and blurt it tactlessly..not sure yet..

If he shows any signs of being a tad depressed, get him on anti-d's as they're known to dry up saliva.

Alternatively bring him round to my place one night as, between us, I'm sure we can fashion a Heath Robinson-esque contraption prototype out of a old neck brace and a couple of wire coathangers pieces of metal that can be screwed to his skull to keep his head in a vice-like grip leaving your hands free to mumsnet while you avoid his stabby tongue.

Otherwise it'll have to be a tongue-ectomy with the surplus being pickled used to supplement another part of his anatomy. As my kitchen table is germ paradise reasonably sterile, I've no doubt we can crack this problem one way or another over the course of a couple of

Sterling effort there, tall. Way beyond the call of duty

Congratulate him on learning whatever he learned about sex that makes him so great and ask him who 'but who taught you to kiss that way?'

Ha ha ha, math that really made me chuckle!

izzyizin, lets use your idea as a last resort..

Instead of behind the bike sheds, he obviously did his juvenile snogging in full sight of a carwash and, given that poor old Jingle's got to go into 'girls on top' mode, I somehow don't think that praising his sexual acumen is gonna cut the mustard math.

So, which of my ideas do you want to save for a last resort, Jingle?

For me the kiss seals a relationship, it has to curl my toe or there is no basis to continue. Kisses should turn you on, make your tummy do butterflies.

Well said, Fabby. That's exactly what a good kiss should do - turn you on, not curl your lip or cover it in spit.

Oooh you took my advice Jingle

Izzy, your use of the strikethrough is second to none

Well...it's good to hear that at least he is good in bed. I had always subscribed to the view (I think I read it in Cosmo - so not necessarily written in stone....) that a man who cannot kiss cannot f*.

But your experience has disproved that theory. Still - I think being able to kiss is - hmmmm, pretty important.

I thought that was 'couldn't dance', Tadpoles.

How's his dancing, Jingle? Is it John Travolta or

can you teach him to kiss, ie is less dribble and more swirling with tongue rather then poking,would you be happy

'waves' to tall -im replying sober lol

People have given fab advice on here but ultimately, I tend to agree with UnhappyLizzie - people kiss the way they kiss and that's that.

I think it's less about good/bad and more about personal preference. Somewhere, there's a woman who's fantasising about a lovely, slobbery, pokey-tongue kisser like your bloke.

If you find someone who kisses the same way you do, you think they're brilliant, and they you.

Personally I couldn't be arsed teaching someone who differed that much from me. Where's the fun in that? The whole thrill/turn on of kissing is that you get lost in the moment and let instinct take over. Stuff that.

You cannot get rid of this man if he's wonderful in every other way, hot in the sack and you see yourself as the mother of his children!

Tell him straight that his technique is shite but as you utterly adore the bones of him, you're willing to tutor him in "how to". He'll have to pay attention, practice and curb his Alsatian - type tendencies.

You may not have a man who ticks all (but one) of the boxes again so, he's worth the effort.