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Original poster

Smitten with dp but he's a bad, baaad kisser...help!

90 replies

JingleBallsAndMistletoe · 15/02/2012 22:13

Hello, i'm after some advice, in fact i'm desperate for it!

I've found myself a amazing man and altho I cant find many faults he is THE worst kisser i have ever met and i dont think i can take one more of them.

Every single time we kiss i have to wipe my face after, and even if i could get past the dribbling the actual smooch is awful too, he just pokes his tongue in and out or if its a full on snoggy snog he'll stick it out and just leave it out, I understand i sound really harsh but I was hoping some wonderful mn advice would help me.

I've tried to tell him re the tongue, and have done the whole let me kiss you thing and now i'm at a loss, The odd thing is, the sex is fab..as long as i get him to kiss my neck instead of my mouth so how do i go about making the kisses better? I've started turning my head now(not meaning to) and feel awful so please, any tips?!

Thank you xx

OP posts:
RandomMess · 15/02/2012 23:07

Jingles you need to get some balls instead of bells and tell him.

"Darling do you know how much I luuuuuuuuuuuuurve you and how amazing I find sex with you, no, oh well I realllllllllllly do, there's just this little thing, would you compromise on the way you kiss because I'm a right fussy cow when it comes to smooching"

tallwivglasses · 15/02/2012 23:10

I'm not a big fan of kissy films but mnetters will recommend good snog-scenes I'm sure.

Do a compilation DVD? Sit him down infront of it and tell him to take notes.

kodachrome · 15/02/2012 23:11

Gross.

I daresay you should try talking to him about it and getting him to try to follow your lead.

If that doesn't work, I think I'd be out, as being repulsed by his kisses will probably lead to more general disgust in the long term.

kodachrome · 15/02/2012 23:12

The kiss in xXx with Vin Diesel would show him what not to do. I feel sick just remembering that one, and I wasn't the recipient (obviously) Grin. Poor woman. Scarred for life, I bet. Who said acting was glamorous?

Original poster
JingleBallsAndMistletoe · 15/02/2012 23:16

I also should change my name from xmas!

I do need to grow a pair, Its such a silly thing but can still cut deep tho if gone about the wrong way. I will do the deed tomo, with Wine and try the 'less tongue i'm fussy' then if all else fails..moreWine and probably drunkenly abuse him telling him his kisses repulse me and hope we can work it out in the morning!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
JingleBallsAndMistletoe · 15/02/2012 23:18

I'm intrigued..what kiss in xXx?! havnt seen it but maybe we can watch it and i can say 'thats u!!'

OP posts:
lovesadirtylie · 15/02/2012 23:18

yes I missed it alot Jingle

HepHep · 15/02/2012 23:19

I've encountered one such kisser in my life - no wait, two, I forgot (blanked out) that my first kiss was also like this.
The 2nd guy would put his mouth right over mine and sort of slurp. It was VILE. VILE.
To be honest,it was part of why it didn't work out. For me, kissing is such a delight and something I love to do so so much that I would find it dispiriting if a potential partner didn't share my love of smooching. Everyone has a different style obviously but if they just don't have a clue how to kiss at all that's different and you might feel somewhat put upon if you have to teach him something he should have learned by now.
If he's really amazing he'll be able to take you being honest about it and you'll both find a way around the issue.. If you've tried being subtle, now is the time to be upfront.

Original poster
JingleBallsAndMistletoe · 15/02/2012 23:26

I'm so glad i've not been flamed, Thank you all!!

HepHep i cant actually tell if he likes it like that or if he's somehow managed to go thru life without learning..

OP posts:
lovesadirtylie · 15/02/2012 23:26

I've come across quite a few men who didnt really seem to get kissing, I can only think of a few who were really good..but then things get sort of blurry if I try and remember too far back.

I think 'mouth breathers' are the worst Confused

Original poster
JingleBallsAndMistletoe · 15/02/2012 23:31

Mouth breathers?

Yes I suppose if I think about it I've only met one or two fantastic toe curling foot raising kissers, and as it turns out the best one was awful in bed!!

OP posts:
DonkeyTeapot · 15/02/2012 23:32

I agree you need to tell him. My suggestion is this:

You meet up with him as planned, but act a bit quiet and thoughful maybe a little down. He'll ask what's wrong. You say there's nothing. He might ask if you're sure, but if he doesn't then just pause. Then say there's something you want to talk to him about but it's an awkward subject and you don't really know how to say it, so you're just going to come out and say it. Then say you love sex with him but the way he kisses you doesn't turn you on. Then show him how you like to be kissed.

Alternatively, don't say anything, but when he leans in for the kiss, stop him, and say "Like this" and show him how its done.

perfumedlife · 16/02/2012 01:15

Oh dear. I loved and worshipped Robert De Niro for years until I realised he kisses the same way in every film, like he's sucking out poison. Fantasy stopped abruptly.

I just don't think it will work, even telling someone and them changing. If the passion was a real match, the kiss would be mutually wow would it not?

Hope I'm wrong though. Good luck Smile

lovesadirtylie · 16/02/2012 01:45

here's an article that may shed a little light on the issue :)
www.abc.net.au/science/articles/2012/02/13/3429340.htm

DatingMinefield · 16/02/2012 02:26

Phwoar! lovesadirtylie, that article is hot! Science & snogging on one page. Grin

izzyizin · 16/02/2012 03:56

Aw come on, you'd actually consider marrying a man who'd destroy your bridal make-up as soon as the 'I do's' have been pronounced and spend your honeymoon toting a large box of tissues --to wipe off the spittle?

FWIW, Mr de Niro can feel free to suck the poison out of me anytime - at least he doesn't dribble.

catwithflowers · 16/02/2012 04:07

Fab article! Good luck OP. To me, a crap kisser would be a deal breaker, worse than someone being crap in bed Blush

NotMostPeople · 16/02/2012 08:41

Oh no JingleBells I didn't mean it depress you just encourage you to speak up so you don't end up like I did.

How did it go?

JingleJingleJingle · 16/02/2012 10:24

Hello again everyone, i've finally changed my nn...

lovesadirtylie, so he's dribbling in my mouth to get me in the mood?!

Izzyizin - my make up would be fooked anyway as i'd prob be bawling my eyes out, tho the whole point of this thread is to fix the problem therefore i wouldnt be marrying a awful kisser (slightly freaked out i'm banging on bout weddings when its never come up yet!)

NotMostPeople tonight is the night and will come back to tell u all the cringy details, trying to decide what the worst case senario is but there is quite a few!

RandomMess · 18/02/2012 17:36

So how did it go...

janelikesjam · 18/02/2012 18:23

Kissing is important. It tells you something about someone I think but I have always wondered if that was just me being crazy! Its always disappointing if the kissing is poor. The last guy I kissed had a horrible snake-tongue thing going on. The man before only kissed with his lips like a limpid-creature. Neither worked out.

No advice OP, but enjoyed the interesting thoughts here. Tell him. Or chuck him. Seems to be the long and the short of it.

WyrdMother · 18/02/2012 18:34

kodachrome Is this the in question? Have to agree not the sexiest.

There's a thought, perhaps you need to show him clips of good kissing, though I don't surpose that will help will tongue technique and spit baths Sad.

kodachrome · 18/02/2012 18:54

Yes [vom].

CalamityKate · 18/02/2012 19:05

Ah.... kissing. I love kissing.

Oddly, the bloke I went out with who was the best kisser ever, turned out to be hopeless in bed. Shame, that.

The worst kisser I ever knew had big lips and a huge, wide tongue so thinking about it, it was never going to end well. Lips and tongue aside though, there was no excuse for the sloppy, Labrador-like licking he seemed to think equated to kissing. Yeuch. He literally used to stick his tongue out as far as it would go and lick at my mouth and chin. Bizarre.

I really used to fancy Colin Firth until I realised he kisses the same in every film - whether it's Love Actually or Bridget Jones, he's got a mean, pokey-mouthed, pecky way of kissing that I hate.

Eric Stoltz in Some Kind Of Wonderful - now THAT'S a kiss.

JasperJohns · 18/02/2012 19:18

Ewwwwww op! Poor you.

Puts me in mind of a bloke we all 'got off' with as teenagers. He was known as 'Carwash'.

We have friends that confessed that they never snog because they don't like it. They have sex, obv, but don't do proper kissing.

We love, love kissing, dh and me, but I bet not all couples do.