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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

This guy is just after a shag isn't he?

56 replies

Quichy · 15/02/2012 17:46

So got talking to this guy online weeks back. He seemed nice, funny etc but would never initiate a "meet" of any kind. He did however become obsessed with the idea of coming to my house with wine and cooking which I felt totally innapropriate as a first date. So anyway I didn't agree to that. We chatted on facebook now and again and text but eventually it all dried up and I didn't hear from him for two weeks.
Anyway last saturday night he sent me another message on facebook and to cut long story short, said he was still really interested and just didn't push things as he got the impression that I wasnt interested. So we arranged to meet this saturday coming. He said it was completely up to me what we did so I suggested a few drinks and if all goes well, cinema to see a film we both wanted to see. He seemed ok with that, not overly excited but "ok". So we've sent the odd text/facebook message since but no full on conversations. Today he text me asking what I'm doing Friday night as he is housesitting for his sister and would like to cook me a meal. Again with the wine/cooking scenario!
It's really not a bright "first date" idea is it? what if we don't like each other!! plus he's willing to invite someone he doesn't even know to his sisters house? Worse case scenario, what if he attacks me??

Anyway I KNOW he is who he says he is. Trust me on that one.

But - this whole "cooking" thing - he's just after a shag isn't he?

OP posts:

LeBOF · 15/02/2012 18:28

Why would you bother though? There's really no need. Just don't date him.

MorrisZapp · 15/02/2012 18:29

Just a shag, yup. Keep looking!

MigratingCoconuts · 15/02/2012 18:32

I agree. Definately dodgy!

AmberLeaf · 15/02/2012 18:43

Have you posted about him before OP?

The whole cooking a meal and wine thing is ringing bells for me?

Maybe this guy is getting about a bit if it wasnt you that posted about him before?

AmberLeaf · 15/02/2012 18:44

The one Ive read about on here was also an online dating guy and was quite pushy about it not being at his house IIRC

lisaro · 15/02/2012 18:58

how insulting! He must think you're really thick! But obviously not as thick as him. Tell him you're going to 'friend' his sister and watch him sweat........................

DestinationUnknown · 15/02/2012 18:58

Have you told him that for a first date you would only meet in a public place? It is standard Internet dating ettiquette after all.

That apart he sounds dodgy / married / slow on the uptake so I would just not bother with any contact now tbh.

Anniegetyourgun · 15/02/2012 19:04

She jumped on his lap while he was on the computer? I think you have to hope it isn't his sister with them goings-on

MigratingCoconuts · 15/02/2012 19:12

I notice this is your first post Quichy. Are you new to MN??

AnyFucker · 15/02/2012 20:22

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

solidgoldbrass · 15/02/2012 20:38

Anyone who won't agree to meet in a public place is to be avoided. Rapist is a more likely explanation than married man TBH. A man who is repeatedly pushing for meets that only take place in private is almost certainly a rapist. Just block and move on.

FabbyChic · 15/02/2012 20:57

Brass sorry but you aren't the full pint.

I think your posts ridiculous.

Oh and I've had dates at my house with people I've never met. Im still here.

pennypencil · 15/02/2012 21:01

they are married but 'just like brother and sister' she probably doesn't understand him

kodachrome · 15/02/2012 21:08

You gotta admit you were taking an unnecessary risk or two there 'though Fabby, surely?

AnyFucker · 15/02/2012 21:14

fabby, I had to laugh when you are questioning sgb's mental health, but completely ignoring that of the OP

hatesponge · 15/02/2012 21:22

The whole thing with his 'sister' - unless he actually refers to her on FB as his sister then I reckon she's actually his wife.

Even if she is his sister, the meal thing is weirdy weird weird.

Either he is actually married. Or he's just after a (cheap) shag. IMO most blokes are prepared to actually take you out for a drink before expecting a shag.

It could be he's a great cook/more comfortable in those situations BUT tbh then he can't be the brightest spark if it hasn't occurred to him that meeting someone anywhere other than a public place is not a sensible idea!

MigratingCoconuts · 15/02/2012 21:23

I need Op to come back and convince me that this is for real because that whole lap-sitting post just seemed very made up unlikely insane.

kodachrome · 15/02/2012 21:27

Lap-sitting? There was house-sitting and lap-top pinching, but I didn't pick up on lap-sitting .

#Goes to re-read thread.#

MigratingCoconuts · 15/02/2012 21:35

yes...I seemed to have read too much into Annie's post of 19.04 and not enough of the actuall OP post

Proudnscary · 15/02/2012 21:36

She didn't sit on his lap...she nipped on to his laptop when he went to get a drink!

Ooh it's like Chinese Whispers on here!

Anhoo, OP you are either pulling our collective legs or you are very, very naive.

She is, as everyone else have said, his wife.

GoingForGoalWeight · 15/02/2012 22:01

Hell no! Do not go! Block and move on. He sounds a slimy creep.

Original poster

Quichy · 15/02/2012 22:09

Guys I'm NOT pulling anyone's leg! This is really going on. I did post before but forgot my username so made this one.
So yeah, the sister thing. It's all very strange, he got a free trip to China and the "sister" is in the pics. He said he had to take his sister as he had no girlfriend - thing is this doesn't ring true because she's married with kids - seems unlikely she'd just bugger off to China leaving kids and hubby at home because her brother needed company! It's like on a night he'll send the odd message asking what I'm upto and he'll say he's at his sister's house, this could be 11pm, seems so unlikely. Another thing I find a bit odd is that he doesn't drive. Might be me being a bit old fashioned but how does he get about?? he says he gets a cab everywhere! But then, he doesn't seem to work either. I know he's a personal trainer (seen his ads etc) but he doesn't seem to do much personal training, he's always on facebook! Makes me wonder how he affords to do anything. (To be honest, he never seems to "do" anything either, never out n weekends or anything).

OP posts:

Original poster

Quichy · 15/02/2012 22:15

Actually, just looked at his "about" on facebook and she is listed as his sister.

OP posts:

BlissfulHousewife · 15/02/2012 22:19

Whatever it is - its odd. You have flagged it up, so really he isnt worth the bother imo.

It does sound a weird set up and at the very least even if she really is his sister and not his wife - he sounds like he is looking for a shag. Why waste time going out to the cinema and a few bars when 1 bottle of wine and a quick meal could easily be followed by a game of hide of the sausage on the sofa!!!

Original poster

Quichy · 15/02/2012 22:23

yeah I know. Like for the past 3 nights he's made no effort to get in contact with me (just the odd facebook message when I'm playing on my phone in lunch break). Considering we're supposed to be meeting on Saturday for the first time you'd think he'd want to speak to me a bit more?

OP posts:

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