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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

anyone else's partner buy them the least they can get away with for valentines day?

56 replies

fireflymouse · 12/02/2012 23:12

Dp been on computer annd i nosed through history as i do to se what he's been looking at, some jewellers pop up and he's navigated through the engagement rings to lockets, then finaly and i'm guessing this will be my gift, landed on the cheapest locket they sell....I know its the thought that counts and its not just my gifts he's tight with but I just wish on one occasion he would suprise me and splash out on something nice to show i mean something to him. am i being a cow? i know there are people on here with vile partners and he's not that, just so blinking tight!

OP posts:
inabeautifulplace · 12/02/2012 23:24

My wife spent a pound on my birthday present. Makes me love her more, as she knows saving is very important to me.

mumofthemonsters808 · 12/02/2012 23:28

I see what you mean, but for us it's a bit different in that we are skint so it will just be a card and token gift (i.e. chocolate rose, cupcake, type thing).I would go balistic if he pushed the boat out because the money could be put to better use and the token gift always make me smile.

He probably does not see the gift as reflecting how much he loves you, he's just going through the motions, like most blokes are on this day.

You never know the locket might be accompanied by a surprise trip to Paris !!

fireflymouse · 12/02/2012 23:29

Ah thats sweet maybe I'll join dp in the saving stakes and we'll both save some pennies then!!

OP posts:
lilolilmanchester · 12/02/2012 23:29

we don't exchange presents on Valentine's day at all, and DH spends very little on me for birthday/Christmas... just not his style (and we have a joint bank account so not like he's not sharing "his" money).

He cooks more often than I do as he works fewer hours and does his share of washing/ironing etc. Which to me is more important. married 24 years this year, so obviously that works for us.

But if expensive presents are what make you happy, and that's the only way you'll believe you mean something to your DP, then you need to sort that out with him.... but get your priorities right in your own mind first, perhaps???

fireflymouse · 12/02/2012 23:33

Ha ha thanks mumofthe monsters i know your right it should be about the token gesture really that counts and its probably just a sign of my insecurity in the relationship and his feelings towards me in general. Thats probly it really and even if he did go all extravagant it wouldn't mean he loved me any more really would it..

OP posts:
thebody · 12/02/2012 23:33

A cuddle at the end of a day With the man I love and the father of my 4 Dcs is enough for me! Couldn't give a shit about cards or presents.

SnapSnafu · 12/02/2012 23:52

We're not interested in Valentine's day. It's a bit of fun for kids, surely?

glamourmama · 13/02/2012 02:44

DP go met a bottle of cherry lambrini one year! We joke about it now....

glamourmama · 13/02/2012 02:45

DP got me a bottle of cherry lambrini one year! We joke about it now....

jenrendo · 13/02/2012 03:10

My DH is away this week but left me a homemade card he made with my 16month old DS. That is enough for me. He shows me he loves me every day. February 14th is just another one of those days :)

BloooCowWonders · 13/02/2012 03:12

Dh knows that random expensive presents would upset me so much more - not sure why any adult needs to be sucked in by the weird commercialism of Valentines day.
How much do you feel you have to spend on him? Does he want a gift of at least X pounds?

savoycabbage · 13/02/2012 03:23

I think it's for kids too. It's never crossed my mind to do something for valentines day.

sleepywombat · 13/02/2012 03:37

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AnnieOnAMapleLeaf · 13/02/2012 03:38

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ben5 · 13/02/2012 03:54

with only $25 left in the account till pay day we will do nothing! Apart from maybe have an early nightWink!!!!

izzyizin · 13/02/2012 05:13

Of course it's the thought that counts - which is why my thoughts will focus favourably on the swain that proffers a Harry Winston box containing an item from the New York collection (preferably a platinum 3 row Traffic or the delectable River ring) Grin

NorksAreMessy · 13/02/2012 06:04

lilolil I could have written your post word for word, even down to 24 years married.

I sort of assume Valentines presents are for somebody whose love you are unsure about, or when you are newly together, or young.

Old like us who have been together for 24 years have had plenty of other opportunities to show they love each other.

WannabeEarthMomma · 13/02/2012 06:21

Sorry that you're miffed, but to be fair, nosying through your partner's computer history is about as bad as him being tight with a gift.

RockinD · 13/02/2012 08:25

My DH announced last week that he doesn't feel the need to buy me presents.

I pointed out that he was not taking into account my need to receive them.

D

upahill · 13/02/2012 08:32

Sometimes DH gets me a card and some of my favourite chocolates and sometimes he doesn't. I don't bother. He doesn't bother with anniversaries either. He does really splash out for my birthday and Christmas though and I get loads of good stuff.
I'd rather have that than over priced flowers or jewelery I would never wear.

overmydeadbody · 13/02/2012 08:41

You rifle through your DP's history?! Shock How controlling of you.

And then you're not happy with the thought he has put into getting you a present on a commercialised Valentines day, and complain that he could have chosen something more expensive! Why does it matter what it cost if he likes it and chose it for you?

I don't expect anything from DP on Valentine's Day. He shows me how much he loves me every single day, I don't need him to get sucked into Valentines nonsence in order to feel loved.

Sorry you are feeling so insecure about your relationship.

KatyMac · 13/02/2012 08:52

DH buys me nothing for Valentines Day; he says if he doesn't show me he loves and respects me the other 364 (or 3565 this year Wink) days then a present on that day would make little difference.

He makes me a cuppa when I am tired, helps at work when I am short staffed and brings me flowers (often the first daffodils of spring); I feel loved Wink

KatyMac · 13/02/2012 08:52

oops 365 (leap year) Blush

fuzzypeach1750 · 13/02/2012 08:55

I hate valentines day! As others have said, showing you love someone on just one day out of the year is so stupid! it's the small thoughts and acts of kindness everyday which really mean something.

Yama · 13/02/2012 08:59

I have never celebrated Valentine's Day. Don't see the point.

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