anyone else's partner buy them the least they can get away with for valentines day?

[fireflymouse]

Dp been on computer annd i nosed through history as i do to se what he's been looking at, some jewellers pop up and he's navigated through the engagement rings to lockets, then finaly and i'm guessing this will be my gift, landed on the cheapest locket they sell....I know its the thought that counts and its not just my gifts he's tight with but I just wish on one occasion he would suprise me and splash out on something nice to show i mean something to him. am i being a cow? i know there are people on here with vile partners and he's not that, just so blinking tight!

We just like to snuggle up with a bit of supper and a lot of wine and chocolates. Don't see the point in big gestures for just one day of the year.

OP, you get what you deserve for being nosy and checking his browsing history.

"least he can get away with" conjures up a picture of you scowling, with folded arms, tapping your foot and expecting a gift that had better pass muster. It wouldn't inspire me to get you a nice present either, sorry OP.

Why are you rummaging through his internet history in the first place?

This is what happens when you get nosy - you end up with only half the information and start making unfounded assumptions. Just because he looked at some web pages doesn't mean anything - you have no idea what he might have planned.

Sounds like you're looking for trouble before there is any!

So you "nosed through his history as I do" (WTAF??). You don't actually know he's bought you this cheap locket, you're just assuming he has, on the grounds that it's the last thing that he looked at. Then you come on here to moan that he hasn't made a sufficiently Grand Gesture for Hallmark Valentine's Day. You sound like hard work!!

I wouldn't rummage. How you going to feel if you don't get the locket at all??

we don't get each other anything for hallmark day anymore.

i can't believe you went snooping and are now pissed off on no evidence whatsoever. you don't know what he has bought you.

Agree with what Norks said about there being other/better ways to show your love, especially in a mature relationship.

A gift, (of whatever monetary value), doesn't prove/disprove a partner's love for you. Wherever did we get this idea? (Erm ... from the media/adverts I think?! To guilt us into buying more and more expensive, unnecessary stuff?)

So don't worry about what gift you will get on a random day of the year. Tell him (for next year) not to bother getting you a gift?

It's not all about the money! (Remember the Beatles's song "Can't Buy Me Love"?)

So just take "money" value out of the equation, by not taking part in the teenage St Valentine's Day spending competition?

You could give each other a big hug instead? And/or a sweet handwritten (love) message on scrap paper?

I know it's not AIBU but YANBU to be pissed off.

It's not about spending money, it's about putting thought into the present. So ignore the competitive "we're so in loooove that we don't need to spend money" people.

If your finances are such that you can and do buy presents, he should be thinking of a present that you would like and appreciate, not just picking the cheapest thing in the shop.

eh? What's competitive about saying you don't need to buy presents on Valentine's day to prove your feelings for someone?

I do agree if someone is going to buy a gift for whatever reason, it should be thoughtful. That doesn't necessarily mean expensive, however....

I CAN see OP's point, but not sure that material gifts are as important as some people think. I have a friend whose DH will be given a list of things she wants for Valentine's day (and Mothers Day/anniversary/birthday/Christmas). She will get everything and the list is usually a few hundred pounds, nearer a thousand for Bd/xmas . But her DH is just buying what he is told - not sure that's really demonstrating anything other than the available funds to hand over a credit card?

So what hve you got him OP? Hopefully something much more expensive as love is measured in monetry value.

For us, I don't expect to get anything and will make DH some fairy cakes or a pie (possibly with hearts on top) as a gesture. But then I do this several times a year, as he does nice things for me too. Expensive jewelry is for when you are in the heady stages of just dating and major occasions only.

What does 'least he can get away with' mean? Why can't he get away with buying nothing? It paints you in a worse light than him TBH.

least he can get away with' sounds to me as if his thought process goes like this:

^I need to get something for Valentine's Day
Umm.. that'll do^

Love is not measured in money but it might be measured in effort and thoughtfulness.

x-posted with Bluddy!

And I am not being competitive, just pointing out that we have things we would rather spend money on than expensive gifts 4 times a year (Christmas, birthday, Valentine's day and anniversary). Most people do unless they are really living in their mortgage-free dream home with excess cash to spare.

Not to say I wouldn't appreciate something outrageously extravagant one year but I'd prefer it for my birthday or our wedding anniversary. Valentines Day is for new lovers not established couples isn't it? Always seems a bit pointless for those who know about each other's love.

Anyway if DH bought me something wildly extravagant we'd end up overdrawn so a bit of a mixed blessing really.

I think you are all misunderstanding the OP by focusing on the money aspect.

We never bother with it, had about a 5 second discussion this year, DP hatses it with a passion, I'm less incensed, but just think why bother getting a present/going for a meal when it is the most expensive time of the year to do so? I'd rather have a present or a meal at another time! We did decide that it had been too long since we've been out together, though, so decided to go in a couple of weeks' time

Well I certainly did interpret ' just so blinking tight!' and 'the cheapest locket they sell....' as being mean with money.

Ninja: the OP didn't focus on anything except the money aspect though. What about if he wanted to buy her a locket because he has the perfect photo to go in it and he thought this one suited her best?

She doesn't complain about thoughtlessness in the gifts, but that he doesn't "splash out" and is "blinking tight". This doesn't rule out him putting thought into her gifts, just suggests that he is careful with money.

Unless you were refering to the blantent nosiness in going through his internet history by the OP.

Here's a thought. If you want your partner to "surprise" you, don't go nosing through his internet history to keep tabs on him.

I dream of a sparkly bit of jewellery, but we currently have ~£15 to last us until Friday, so... A night cuddling on the sofa, I think. :)

i thought i might get this kind of response especialy for nosing through his browsing history, i know its asking for trouble! Maybe i was a bit disappointed he didn't stop at the engagement ring page seeing as he looked at it! But never mind maybe he doesn't want to propse as i'm obviously such a cow :( For the record I have got him some photography things as this is his passion, I'm not saying its the monetary value exactly that bothered me just if i was choosing a gift for him it would be the one i thought he would like most (within reason) and not ALWAYS the cheapest! I take on board the comments though, I am maybe turning into my mother which I dread.

Valentines used to be about getting a card.. not a lavish present..

FFM, good on you for taking it on the chin with such grace.

Just out of interest, how do you actually know he didn't stop at the engagement ring page?