Potential affair - Am I doing the right thing? What should I do?

[ProPerformer]

I am currently happily married with one DS. I work as a TA in a school and am really good friends with one of the teachers I work with who is also happily married with kids.
The thing is, we are always flirting with eachother which was harmless enough, but recently I have realised that I have been starting to have feelings for him.
I love my husband to pieces and there's no way I'd want anything to happen with this other man, but I get butterflies in my tummy every time I see him which I don't with my DH. I've also started to dream about us having an affair.
I'm not acting on these feelings at all as know they will only cause pain and have turned down my part in the flirting by a lot. I can't avoid him as being a TA it would mean having to explain why, especially as other collegues know we are friends, I also don't want to loose the best friend I have among my collegues because of some stupid feelings which I don't intend to act on (though sometimes I do get tempted)

What should I do? I don't want to have an affair (and sure he doesnt feel the same) but...

Just a quick reply (enjoying valentines with hubby)

No me and OM have never met outside of work, though are more often or not together at work socials. We have talked about going for a drink or something a few times in the past, but have never actually done so - one of us always has kids to pick up, apart from once which was between work and a school play when he invited me to join him and a couple of other staff for a meal. Haven't talked about meeting outside work lately though.

Would be a shame to loose this guy as a friend as we have been happily just friends/close collegues for about 5 years now but if that's how it must be....... The thought of hurting my DH or DS in any way causes me much more pain than anything else and the few times I have met his wife and kids... Couldn't chance hurting them either cos they're lovely.

Even if it is 'all in my head' I'm not taking any chances!

Glad to hear it, it really isn't worth the pain.

Well done you PRO.
I knowLAZARUSH it's amazing how some people self-justify their behaviour.
OW said at time if her DH had behaved the way she had she would have kicked him out,yet still maintained it was just a bit of excitement and fun.
And I do cross paths with her as work in same industry as DH and have to go to her current place of work.Grrrh!So know how you feel.

There's some really great advice on this thread.

What kind of friends do you want to be with him? If you both admit that you're being stupid and that you have to stop the flirting and childish 'grass is greener' fantasies, then maybe you will come out of the other side of it as real friends. Because right now you are not friends, you are just an ego boost for each other.