My DH is amazingly fit .......BUT

[recall]

My husband has been overweight for years, he has taken up running again and is doing so well, I am very proud of him. He has lost 3 stone, he is so much healthier ( I was worried because he is 42 and entering the dodgy heart attacks for overweight men area ) A real bonus for me is that he looks stunning (to me) and I find him very very attractive, lets say it has re kindled an old spark.

But..... he goes running 3 evenings a week. We have 3 children 1,2 and 4. I sort of do the night shifts during the week, so that he is fit for work the next day. I also look after them every week day while he is at work, most weekends I work, I am self employed and can end up driving 14 hours all over the UK.

So 3 days a week, I start the day knackered, look after the kids and do school runs etc until 5, then DH gives me a break until 6 when he goes running. I have to settle the kids to bed etc, he gets back at about 8.

Its bloody killing me ! On his running days I feel all numb and heavy and sort of worthless, it all just goes on and on and on.

Don't want to take his running away from him. He is in a club, which is why the days and times are so rigid.

I am really torn, don't know how to resolve this.

Any ideas ??

Why can't he go running after the DC are put to bed so that you don't have to do it alone?

Although I think the poor sleeping is the bigger issue here and if you could sort that everything else would fall into place. Hope you find a solution.

thanks, he has to go at rigid times because of the club, and its the club running that has motivated him to do so well...

Gosh, your life sounds very very hard! But to be honest the thing that makes your life hardest is that you have to work on weekends. How hard would it be financially if you stopped?

Well, I earn the same as my DH does in a month in two weekends. I usually do every other weekend roughly. So it would half our income.

Today, we have had a kind of meeting to discuss everything and plan rest. I have had an hour's sleep at lunch time, and now I have an hour "off" until he goes running at 18.15. I do feel better. Also, it is my turn to have a night off tonight, so I am guaranteed a solid 9 hours of uninterrupted sleep.

It comes down to communicating I think, but we have to keep on top of it and listen to each other. Got to keep recharging our batteries at every opportunity.

Recall, I agree you have to snatch any chance to rest and regroup if you are to keep up what is a rather punishing schedule. Don't feel bad about not doing other things in that time, the first priority has to be keeping you sane/not exhausted/functioning well. Otherwise it starts to take a toll on your health, you get every virus going etc. Sounds good that you can talk about all this stuff.

Simple - you work every weekend, your DH resigns and you parent together, if only for a few years. Seriously, if you earn that much you need to think outside the box a bit more.

Or can DH cut down his days in that case or something? If your work pays so much better, what would happen if he did say a 4-day week, and you did a little more than now (one more weekend per month, or one day in the week)? It sounds as though you might be able to rejig things so you get a little bit more time freed up (overall) without losing any money, and that would ease the pressure on you. Depends what your DH does of course, as some jobs just haven't got the flexibility...

I just read the book "Half a Wife", which is a good read for getting you thinking about this sort of thing!

Have you got a spare room? An au pair might solve a lot of your time management problems, just a thought.
I have 3 under 5 too so feel your pain.

Camperfan and Myname YES YES YES !!! This is my plan, I keep asking DH to jack his job in, and I could build my business, I am not even advertising any more because I could not cope with the demand. He is very tempted, but a bit scared, he has worked for the same company for 12 years. We have agreed that after the Olympics ( he is looking forward to this because his job means he will be working on the site ) he is going to work part time for a year and see if it is likely to work out. If I had more time, I could earn a lorra lorra money. When he is off work, and so am I we have such a fab time together as a family, he is more relaxed and it takes the pressure off me. It is a mad house, but fun, not a slog.

I do tend to think outside of the box, and I think it might be the ADD tendencies. I am all excited just thinking about this.

fanny we have the room for an au pair, but I would worry in case I didn't get on with her and she started to bug me. I hate the thought of being stuck with someone I didn't like in my home, ever since I had a horrid lodger