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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Only last week I was happy this week its all gone so, so wrong.

73 replies

havebeendumped · 05/02/2012 17:54

No massive details, only want to get it out.

I was seeing someone, not seriously but getting on well. He has not been in contact for a few days now, unusual for us but hey thats fine if thats how he wants it go, he doesn't owe me anything.

However having had sex with him (first time I had sex in three years) used a condom, took the MAP (thats how paranoid I am) it appears that I am now late and possibly pregnant. I already have two dc, one of whom is disabled. I cannot have another child, it really is as simple as that.

So I am in my late thirties and this is quite possibly the worst thing that could happen. Can't and won't tell him, its just not that kind of "relationship".

Not sure what I want anyone to say but I am scared to death and having to make some awful decisions and I am terrified.

OP posts:
ohdearwhatdoidonow · 05/02/2012 17:56

Have you had a test?? Condom AND MAP??? Pretty scary stats if you are.

TooEasilyTempted · 05/02/2012 17:58

Don't jump the gun here!! You used a condom (I assume there were no accidents, it didn't split or come off?) and used the MAP. It's really highly unlikely that you are pregnant. Go put on your best white knickers and your nicest white trousers and try to relax.

Just how late are you?

SquashedSquirrel · 05/02/2012 17:59

How late are you and how long after having had sex did you take the MAP?

I'm sorry you feel so terrified/mixed up.

Original poster
havebeendumped · 05/02/2012 18:02

I am about four days late, can't remember exact day of last period. I have done TWO tests both negative but I can remember from my previous pregnancies that I never show up on those until at least five or six days after the day I am due. Also I am never late unless pregnant.

The thing is I have had abdominal pain and sore breasts, exactly the same as when I was pregnant previously but AF just not arriving.

As far as condom is concerned we were quite drunk and tbh I probably wouldnt have noticed if anything had gone wrong Blush.

I took the MAP about 14 hours after the event (s),

OP posts:
Original poster
havebeendumped · 05/02/2012 18:04

However thinking about it the abdominal pain and sore breasts were about a week ago, about 10 days after MAP, could they be related? Best google actually.

OP posts:
kallima · 05/02/2012 18:10

doesn't the MAP change your cycle though? it has whenever I've used it

Original poster
havebeendumped · 05/02/2012 18:11

Has it kallima grasping desperately at any rays of hope here? How did it affect you , if you don't mind me asking. I used it once years ago and everything went same as usual but maybe different time of my cycle or something.

OP posts:
TooEasilyTempted · 05/02/2012 18:11

MAP changed my cycle and made me a week early. But it can work either way.

Original poster
havebeendumped · 05/02/2012 18:13

That it is what I have read that is more likely to make it come early. And so so many stories of it failing as well, even here on MN. Thats why I am so scared I think. I am in my late thirties, havent had sex for THREE YEARS and used two methods of contraception, how unlucky would I have to be! But I keep returning to the fact that I have never, ever missed or been late, unless pregnant.

OP posts:
lisad123 · 05/02/2012 18:16

Try not to panic yet. It's highly unlikely you are.

kallima · 05/02/2012 18:16

it brought me on early, but it wasn't a 'full' period, more like a mini version. do you normally get sore boobs before your period (I do) ?

Original poster
havebeendumped · 05/02/2012 18:19

Yes I do but severity ranges from month to month but yes, its not unknown for them to be as bad as they were this month.

OP posts:
lubeybooby · 05/02/2012 18:19

MAP messes with your cycle. You most likely would have noticed if there was any problem with the condom. Try not to worry too much - and go get yourself an implant, the pill or depo injection so you can have that in use with condoms too for the best possible protection - you can't use the MAP every time you have sex.

tanfastic · 05/02/2012 18:24

I had a similar experience a long time ago had sex once, used a condom, damn thing slipped off and took Map straight away. I was pregnant. It does happen! I never told the guy because he was a twat and the type to say it couldn't have been his as we used a condom Hmm. I went ahead with a termination and moved on from it.

Op, you need to do a test before you scare yourself silly. You may be worrying over nothing.

kodachrome · 05/02/2012 18:32

It might be that you're so stressed about it that your body is playing tricks on you.

I hope you're not pregnant, but you have options if you are. And there's nothing wrong in taking those. Best wishes.

JamRagRolyPoly · 05/02/2012 18:35

The map can delay period and mess up your cycle. If the condom didn't split and you took the map, I highly doubt you are pregnant

ohdearwhatdoidonow · 05/02/2012 18:49

I took it twice and it mega messed me up I basically I had mini periods every few days for months

OffMeTrolley · 05/02/2012 19:09

whereabouts were you in your cycle when you had sex?

cuppatea2 · 05/02/2012 19:11

i dont really understand this thread - if you are late why havent you done a test? First response will give an accurate answer at this stage

FrozenChocolate · 05/02/2012 19:20

She has tested twice cuppatea but both tests were negative.

garlicfrother · 05/02/2012 19:23

You had sex in the week your period was due, it seems, so not mid-cycle. You used contraception and the MAP correctly. You've had two negative tests. You're suffering what appear to be pre-menstrual symptoms.

OK, some women's fertility will surmount any odds but it really looks as though you're not pregnant Grin Being worried about pregnancy is almost guaranteed to delay a period!

I like the suggestion to wear your most stainable clothes. Nothing works as well as Sod's Law Wink

Original poster
havebeendumped · 05/02/2012 19:29

No was mid cycle, around day 12 I think when working it out. I had been finished my period around five days I think but can't remember exactly. So bang on ovulation really I would think.

OP posts:
garlicfrother · 05/02/2012 19:46

Ah, yes, I missed the info in your 18:04 post, sorry.

Still blummin' unlikely! You don't need to make any hard decisions until you know for sure. I'd go for the white trousers, have a little too much to drink, and put clean sheets on your bed. If Sod's Law doesn't sort it for you, get another test tomorrow.

Good luck :)

Original poster
havebeendumped · 07/02/2012 11:18

Positive test this morning. Completely numb.

OP posts:
ShirleyO · 07/02/2012 11:20

Oh no.

(a very, VERY similar thing happened to me once)

Do you feel able to consider your options now?