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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Just found some possible suspect pics. Wwyd now?

35 replies

BoysBoysBoysAndMe · 02/02/2012 22:15

Just found two photos of a girl on t laptop downloaded from his phone.

More digging?

Confront him?

OP posts:
yellowraincoat · 03/02/2012 00:02

I'm not sure what your point is windsor.

Lovingfreedom · 03/02/2012 00:04

Don't know about iphones downloading random stuff. If you've got no other hunches I'd say he's possibly just been looking at some sexy pics. Look out for other signs of infidelity though and don't fall for stupid excuses.

BoysBoysBoysAndMe · 03/02/2012 04:59

Thanks for your input and opinions.

I'm going to do more digging now I've thought about it.

I don't want to confront him and let him know I'm questioning our trust just over two pictures. If it is innocent he would be upset that I'm doubting him.

Otoh, he has the opportunity with work to play around.

I don't know. Like I said I've always trusted him, he's never given me reason not to. I would never have thought he would cheat on me, and He's a great husband and father.

And then what on earth would I do if he has been up to no good? I couldn't trust him ever again. But we have a 5year old and a 7month old to considèr. I've been with him since I was 17. I'm having All sorts of thoughts and feelings I never, ever expected id have to deal with. So I'm going to get my investigative hat on and dig.

OP posts:
fiventhree · 03/02/2012 08:40

Boys, Im with Titsup on this.

As other say it may be innocent.

I had 5 and a half years of dodgy photos on computer, and always confronted, as titsup did.

I got the following excuses:

  • I cant even imagine how they got there
-they were downloaded accidentally with music from file sharing sites -I bought a second hand iphone, remember- they must have been on there.

Yes, confront by all means if you are sure it doesnt seem innocent, but on a practical level you need more evidence. Of course you will feel guilty about snooping- this caused me more concern than anything, but I now wish I had done so more thoroughly..

If you find photos on the laptop (i dont know much about iphones), then right click, go down to properties, which should tell you when they were downloaded and from where. I discovered this too late

Look at history, though he may use private browsing, mine did.

Try to look at the cache.

Go to search and just tick pictures- I usually found loads that way, and in received files.

Still, I do hope its innocent. If it isnt, you will start to notice a few other clues, anyway.

MadAboutHotChoc · 03/02/2012 08:51

Are there any other red flags? Has he been distant? Grumpy/stressed? Possessive with his phone and laptop? Are your instincts telling you something is not right?

I agree you need to dig a bit more before confronting him - check his internet history (that was how I found out he had a secret credit card and a secret email address). Does he have facebook? Check his private messages. Email? Check the deleted emails folder as well as the inbox. Also check the trash bin on the computer/laptop.

BoysBoysBoysAndMe · 03/02/2012 09:44

Please don't add on, I've started a new thread. Husband guilty as suspected SadSadSadSadSadSadSadSadSad

OP posts:
MadAboutHotChoc · 03/02/2012 14:59

So sorry - will go and look for your other thread Sad

TheTruthNothingButTheTruth · 03/02/2012 17:07

Looks like an affair to me. Sorry OP.

Lovingfreedom · 04/02/2012 00:40

Oh shit!! I'm sorry to hear that. We add our tuppence into these threads..but still hope to be proved wrong. I'll look for your other thread. Sorry BBB&Me. Really feel for you.

Itsallgonetitsup · 04/02/2012 00:48

Oh I am so sorry boys Sad

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