DP has stormed out because ...

[OnlyWantsOne]

Dp has just stormed off in a huff because I said "ok"

He bought a dress that was hanging up in the hall into the sitting room and said he did it so it didn't smell of cooking. I said ok and he's stropped off.

What did I do wrong? Was I meant to congratulate him?

Ffs fed up of being emotionally shat on

Was he planning to wear the dress tonight?

It's my dress

Hung up in the hall ready to take up when I next go upstairs.

Well you could have said thanks, rather than ok, which could sound a bit arsey. But equally hardly worth a massive huff. Kind of him to bother though, not sure it would occur to mine!

I'd get up those stairs pdq if I were you as I suspect he's stormed off to raid your wardrobe for a non-smelly outfit..

Was he expecting you to say 'thanks'?
What else is going on?

Ffs fed up of being emotionally shat on

Could you elaborate on this?

Just fed up I think.

Weve got lots on and I've started a new job this week. Hes been funny all week and when I've asked him what's wrong he's Said nothing & this afternoon he has said there is a huge wall of pressure on him and he has to chip away at it

Tbh I think he's depressed. He's tired all the time. So am I, we have two small kids, who isn't tired - but he's just tired ALL the time.

We arnt getting on particularly well at all

He's non verbal. He doesnttalk to me - we constantly ask each other "do you love me or what are you thinking? Just so there is some communication but tbh it's just habit.

He's backed me into a corner about £ this afternoon an I feel tiny and worthless. Joy

:(

It's hard when you feel tired all the time - for both of you.

How did he back you into a corner over money?

Was he trying to make up in small way and is overly upset cos he did not get the reaction he wantefd from his gesture which probably had more meaning to him than simple moving it

Just started new job. Don't have any money at the moment

Because he was being really silly and not talking to me when I tried to talk to him I went and watched a film with dd on the sofa an he was shouting through from kitchen -

How are you going to tax car this week?

How are you going to service car?

How are you going to buy new tyres for it?

He knows I have no money. He knows I can't buy any of these things at the moment. So I don't know whether he was trying to just make me tiny and crap as he earns Lots more than me. I don't get paid from new job til end of Feb. Until then I have very little to get by on.

Yet I take him to train station and pick him up using the car every day. Not like it's me alone that uses the car

Why isn't his money your money?

Because its his.

Well he's a cunt then, sorry.

When he comes back you need to thrash this out. Any man who would leave his wife without money while he has enough and have a go at her about it is a total arse in my view.

He hasn't got lots of disposable income. His money is all budgetted and accounted for. But he does have the ability to pay for things using his over draft if needed. Like the car Tax. I don't. I have £X money which is literally going to last me 2 weeks to get to and from work and nothing else.

Agree with AliBaba.

That's horrible of him. So even though he relies on the car to get to work every day, you are expected to maintain it even in your first month of employment when you haven't been paid!? What a meanie.

I've become a complete door mat

You have my love :(

Why do you have separate finances when you have kids? Why isn't he paying more when you are on ML?

you have 2 small children. it's not his money.

you are not a doormat

he is behaving like a twat though

If you manage your finances separately - whose car is it?

If his, then he needs to pay for tax etc
If yours, and you cannot afford to tax it, then either he could "loan" you the money to do so, or he needs to find an alternative way of getting to work.

(my parents managed their money separately, but my Dad as the main breadwinner would always have covered costs like that, if it was a "family resource" IYSWIM)

It's my car. Our one family car. But i payed for it and I'm the registered keeper.

Now he's back from his little strop he comes coming in the living room with his hands on his hips staring at me.

He's now given me dinner like nothing has happened.

So he, with money, expects you, without money, to pay for the family car.

You two really need to sit down and re-organise your finances. Like a joint account for joint expenses. Or, like most normal couples, a joint account for everything.

It sounds like he has something going on, but you have every right to ask him to either speak to you about or at least stop taking it out on you.