DP has stormed out because ...

[OnlyWantsOne]

Dp has just stormed off in a huff because I said "ok"

He bought a dress that was hanging up in the hall into the sitting room and said he did it so it didn't smell of cooking. I said ok and he's stropped off.

What did I do wrong? Was I meant to congratulate him?

Ffs fed up of being emotionally shat on

The car don't need servicing that can wait, if the tyres are legal you don't need new ones, what you do need is tax and when he asks how you going to pay for it turn round and say Im not you are, he benefits from it he can fucking stump up some cash the tight bastard.

To add insult to it all. He took Wednesday off to go to a lodge meeting in London. While I had to pull in favours for some one to have our kids so I could work as he couldn't. As he has a really stressful Job and can't take AL to look after the kids.

Why are you with him?

He can take time off to do something he wants to do, but not to look after his own children? I'm assuming lodge means Masons or something similar?

Yeah

He didn't tell me either. I found out through his parents.

Is this a new job as in, the first job you've had in a while? (you've been on mat leave?)

Has he got the arse about you going to work and therefore not being able to shoulder almost sole responsibility for the children?

I can't understand his logic re things like the car - if it's the only one your family has, then he should chip on towards expenses esp if he's getting the use of it every day.

TBH I don't think I would comfortably be in a realtionship with someone who insisted on 'his' money (ie all his money) and 'your' money. You're supposed to be a team. Have your own accounts by all means, but really, esp if you have children, most things should come from a 'joint' pot.

Er, sounds like he's being kind of a twat tbh

How long have things been difficult between you two? Is counseling an option?

Has he got any good points?

Good points - I'm struggling to see right now but he used to make me laugh, hes a good dad, he does his best

The firing questions at you/financial setup in conjunction with each other sounds like financial abuse, or emotional abuse.

The coming in and staring at you with his hands on his hips sounds quite threatening! Sorry but he sounds abusive and like a bit of an arse. Hope you've got some good local support in RL :(

Perhaps the questions about the car were trying to establish if you could do it or whether you needed him to do it for you.

As far as I can see, all bets are off when parental tiredness is equally shared. You know how bad you feel, give him the benefit of the doubt that he feels just as bad.

Ask him to pay petrol money, if you're giving him a lift?

He sounds controlling. Do any of these signs ring a bell?

"The firing questions at you/financial setup in conjunction with each other sounds like financial abuse, or emotional abuse.

The coming in and staring at you with his hands on his hips sounds quite threatening! Sorry but he sounds abusive and like a bit of an arse. Hope you've got some good local support in RL"

WTF?

"He sounds controlling. Do any of these signs ring a bell?"

Probably not right now, but I bet they will by the time some of you have finished.

I'm getting the feeling that notfluffy hasn't had the misfortune of being in an emotionally abusive, controlling, relationship. Lucky you! :)

his best isn't good enough :(

your financial set up sounds strange to me. If you've got kids money needs to be shared

He's not abusing me - he's just being emotionally withdrawn.

I feel I can't be emotionally or physically intimate with him. Or shout and scream. Or talk things through

Actually feel totally just absolved that this is it.

OP, if the answers to his questions about the car are all "I can't" or "I don't know," what is he going to do about it? Will he pay for those things?

I told him I didn't have money for any of those things at the moment. In which case we wouldn't have a car. How would he get to train station?
He said push bike.

Have you ever read anything about abuse? Do you know what emotional abuse is?

why is he waiting on you and you are still on here

why arent you conversing with him over dinner

why are you leaving it all to him while you MN

I suffered physical abuse from my ex.

This is different. Although I no longer have any confidence and any options.

Sell the car and get him a bike for his birthday?

Well, sorted then. Push bike it is!

Call his bluff.

You always have options.

Thinking that you don't will make you put up with a bad situation for far longer than you should.