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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

most insensitive thing your XP/XH has ever said to you?

78 replies

chocoraisin · 26/01/2012 15:25

Today: 4 weeks post separation, he left me (pregnant) for OW. Came round to see DS who has been ill.

asks me to play outside with them both, because he 'doesn't mind sharing daddy time' and said 'the best times in the world are when we get to share our son'

WTF?? Apart from the times you get your leg over, now that you've LEFT me and your son.

Shocked, I reply, do you even miss him when you're not here? XH replies: 'Yes of course, but bizarrely I'm a lot less stressed and more relaxed these days'.

(I turned on my heel and left immediately) Wish I'd said: GOOD for you. You utter utter shit of a man. I'm glad that YOU feel better now you left us. Never mind your pregnant wife and child who are going through hell. As long as YOU feel more relaxed now I'm sure we can all be happier.

FUCKS SAKE.

Please share some other horror stories with me to make me feel less alone :( feel like I'm the stupidest, most unloved woman in the world right now while he's off playing with our son... feeling cheery as chips and totally unstressed by life.

OP posts:
tallwivglasses · 08/02/2012 19:20

Choco, I didn't realise this thread was yours Sad

May I suggest everyone here gets out their plimmies, pompoms and ponytails and skips over to choco's other thread Grin

tallwivglasses · 08/02/2012 19:22

here

OnlyWantsOne · 08/02/2012 19:23

I was once told my a chap that my arse was amazing. If only my thighs were a bit more toned.

Not really on a par with Choco but I've blanked nearly all the filth that ex threw at me thank god.

OlderNotWiser · 08/02/2012 19:24

Eek, sorry. Prob not appropriate then. Apologies Blush

SarahDoctorIndyHouse · 08/02/2012 19:31

*My ex, a couple of years after we split, blaming ME for his whole year of violence towards me. '... well I never hit anyone before you, or since'.
So that's ok then. Twat *

Marriednotdead Snap. Pretty much word for braindead word! Ownership/responsibility just does not form part of some people's vocabulary

LizzieChickens · 08/02/2012 20:04

"Yes, but it was a long time ago."

Ex boyfriend trying to wheedle me into having sex with him while I was having a PTSD rape flashback. Cunt.

SirSugar · 08/02/2012 20:16

when h told me I couldn't have a christmas present, bit of jewellry I liked for about £100.

I told him if he hadn't just spent £6000 on a fucking facelift, maybe I could have had it. I kid you not; a FACELIFT. He went beserk and told me I was a selfish bitch.

Hes gone now, really gone, for good, he died. The facelift was rubbish too

MyLittleMiracle · 08/02/2012 21:30

The most insensitive thing my EX said to me was in a friends kitchen at about 6am, on route to taking his friend to his new job. I remembered, that i hadnt taken my tablets (for PND, And after an overdose), he said, in front of everyone, why dont you do us all a favour and just take them all and go die! I kid you not! I was in tears in the toilet and then my ex had the neck to say a couple of weeks later that his friends missus (my friend, who got me through my mental health issues) seemed to have a problem with him....like yeah, why wouldnt she?? Sh suffered similar too and i am now urging her to leave him!

LesserOfTwoWeevils · 08/02/2012 22:35

"You're a heavy load to carry."
"No, I won't promise not to have sex with anyone else. That would be boring."
"I'm your last chance at normality."

MyLittleMiracle · 09/02/2012 15:43

And they wonder why they get dumped??? Is it any wonder?

Happenstance · 09/02/2012 15:48

davidsotherhalf Shock "To be honest your just becoming a convenience" was the worst i got, some of these are awful

SorryMyLollipop · 09/02/2012 16:39

"I didn't fancy you, I just knew I could have you if I wanted" (discussing the first time we met)

midwife99 · 09/02/2012 16:45

Choco you really are having a shit time & glad you can laugh a bit! Glad ex is no longer coming round to see DS & meeting elsewhere & he can be less stressed out of your sight (the %23%+*)

charlottesmum5 · 11/02/2012 21:24

The day after I came out of hospital after a miscarriage..."why are you crying?? Shouldn't you be over it by now?"

I left him 6 mths later but like a fool I returned, only to have another miscarriage, then 2 lovely girls and then he had an affair and he left me.

This was ten years ago and I'm still receiving therapy :(

meandmypickle · 11/02/2012 21:42

The day before an operation 2have you planned dinner for tomorrow"
When i was very stressed and run down "why can't you be normal"
he said anti depressants "made me likeable" and i'd fooled my new mummy friend into liking me
there are plenty more..

Fourcatsonthebed · 11/02/2012 21:58

On the first night home with our DD in response to asking for some help getting her to feed: "Look you're the one that wanted her so just get on with the job". I had even had to ring from the hospital to get him to come and collect us as he didn't want to waste time hanging about at the hospital - everyone elses DH's were waiting in the ward.

LiarsWife · 11/02/2012 22:21

My affair is all your fault .. you should have put more effort into our marriage .. he has previously told me that I fell in.love with our daughter when she was born and then gave her too.much attention and didn't give him enough..!

TOTU · 12/02/2012 20:42

My Dad died. Me, my ex, my mum and my whole family had all been at the hospital bedside. Watched him take his last breath. Wondered what was the appropriate time to leave. Mum was worried about where he would be taken, what would happen with regards to funeral arrangements etc. I drove her home and made calls to old colleagues who knew Funeral Directors to try to give her some peace of mind.

When I got home, the (now ex) told me to make him a sausage butty as he was starving from having been at the hospitall for so long!

I kid you not. 'Yes love, I've just watched my Dad die and I'll get the frying pan on'. (To my absolute shame, I did make the butty Blush)

SaggyHairyArse · 12/02/2012 22:13

Is there "How to be a shit husband" rule book? Some of these comments are so familiar...

Last Xmas I suggested to my STBXH if we could get joint presents for the kids (united front and all that), he agreed, so I bought and wrapped the gifts from both of us (Father Christmas). I am still waiting for him to pay for them. I asked him for the money at the time and gave him an itemised list of everything and he then couldn't pay because he was skint though he posted on Facebook he had done all his Christmas shopping at Amazon (for his girlfriend no doubt), I asked him two weeks ago and he said he couldn't because again he was skint yet somehow he could afford to go to the Phillipines for 10 days with his girlfriend but hasn't got the money for his kids Christmas presents....

He is a man that deserves a hearty kick in the bollocks.

Seth · 12/02/2012 22:52

Choco

Similar, and I was also pregnant with no 2 when he left ( though I didn't know it at the time-found put a week later that our 'planned' baby was on it's way)

Anyway yes ...'I look at you and feel nothing', Called me A-sexual and said 'of course I don't regret us getting married-we have our children that mean the world to us from It' ( yeah like so much you just f*cked off one day with no attempt to save your marriage)

By the way ( off topic a bit) but over 2 years on and We are all fine.Happy, no longer hearing that rubbish that knocks you sideways and getting on with life.Oh and he is miserable and desperately wants to come back.I take no pleasure from that but it's just nice position to be in all the same! Good luck.

sasslejaney84 · 12/02/2012 23:46

Oh choco! Bloody selfish #÷&>=!!!

I think the worst thing my ex is ever did is after I got home from the hospital after suffering a 16wk MC was to announce to his mother (we were staying with her at the time) that "at least we now know my tackle works, shame she can't keep em eh?" His mother agreed!!!!!! I got my DD (2 at the time) and left that night!

UnlikelyAmazonian · 13/02/2012 00:08

'You're so old your womb will never hold a baby'.

'Why don't you slice off some of your cellulite and fucking choke on it.'

'Which part of fuck off and die don't you understand.'

StrawberrytallCAKE · 13/02/2012 00:15

My exp smashed my phone and told me I would never leave him again whilst holding a knife against my throat. Sounds so Jeremy Kyle now I say it out loud. He owns a business now and by all accounts is quite successful, nice guy..always wondered why it didn't work out Hmm

lazarusb · 13/02/2012 16:07

My ex...
'Are there any of my friends you haven't fucked?' -
Me -'Yes, I haven't fucked any of them actually' -
ex - 'Prove it' Confused

Ex again..
'I want us to split up for 3 months in the summer so I can shag a load of students. You can come back in September'.
Me - 'Ok. But I won't be coming back'.

Original poster
chocoraisin · 13/02/2012 16:21

hello everyone, I haven't checked in on this thread for a little while as so much else has been going on, (thank you so much for being so supportive on my other thread, it's meant the world to me)...

...can I just say FUCK ME there are some arseholes out there. You are ALL brilliant and do not deserve the bullshit that has been thrown at us :( I just can't believe that so many of them are out there... I'm pretty sure I'd rather have a rampant rabbit now than risk another relationship!!

I can't think of any suitable response to almost all of these, except 'thank you, now would you like to fuck the fuck off?'

Jeeeeeeeeez.

Latest from ex, is that I can put the flat on the market after all, because he didn't realise he owned so little and he really doesn't need the space. Cheers love - glad that now you've made it intolerable for your family to live there, you've decided you don't want it either. Thanks a lot. You tit. GAH

tell me there are some good uns out there too?? I hope all of you have found delicious lovely new P's who treat you like godesses and don't have a horrible bone in their body x

OP posts: