He wants me pregnant before we move in...

[NuBlu]

Well, here goes for my first post....I'm 42 he's 37, children are v.important to him. We've been together a year. I'm fully committed to having a family with my new love. I've just had the fertility checks and all fine except my progesterone level is a little low. I think if we're committed we should discuss a future BUT he wants me pregnant before committing to move in together. I understand that it's his dream but am I really just the egg carrier...am i being a drama queen? Considering walking away, don't want to be under this pressure and I don't want my heart broken...or should I just wise up??

Run like the bloody wind. Don't look back.

I wonder wether he is concerned that you may not be able to have a baby because of your age and is making it easier for him, in other words byee if you don't give him a baby.

Sorry lovey, I know it's not what you want to hear, but you need to get out of this relationship. It is controlling and just plain awful that he doesn't want to make a home with you unless you are pregnant - what if you don't get pregnant or even worse you do and he just wants to live separately and have the DC when he wants them??? I know it's not easy when you hit 40 to find a single, sane man who wants to have children :( but you only have 2/3 with this one... as the others have said

but it's not right is it?

See that hill? Run for it!

He's using you as a vessel to incubate his unborn.
Please run.

Anyone out there think this is the basis for a good solid relationship?

Anyone at all?

Hellooooooo?

Nope, don't reckon there's a single soul who does.

Hills >>>>>>>> that way.

No. No. NO.

Run fast, run far.

you see if he wants children (plural) and you move in together when you are pregnant but aren't able to have any more children, what happens next? What happens if you are pregnant, move in together, and the pregnancy is not successful etc?

You need a good supporting man at your side who will be there in thick and thin. It doesn't always pan out but that is the general idea, isn't it?

did he ask you to have the fertility checks?

run anyway

NuBlu

I think you need to have a really good talk with him.

When I met my DH, we both wanted kids in the future. Along the way, we discovered I couldn't have kids (thankfully wrongly as it turns out).

But back then when we thought I was totally infertile, I was terrified that my then boyfriend - now my DH - would want to leave me as he had said often that being a dad was his biggest life goal.

Instead, he told me that without me, he wouldn't have a family at all. That he would be happy with me and him as our own family unit by ourselves. And if we wanted kids, we'd adopt and they would be our family too. He said that he would be happy to adopt because our family would be what we made it together as a couple.

You need to talk to your boyfriend. If he loves you, why not move in together and build your lives together? That is what most people hoping for a family would do.

And is he willing to look at other options if you can't have kids, including being with you alone (and no children)?

You really need some answers here.

Running is not fast enough, I'd get a car to the airport

He should want you first and babies if they come along

Tell him to adopt

Absolutely the only positive thing to be taken from your op is that he is utterly blatent about the fact that he only wants you if you can provide him with children so you know exactly where you stand.
If you are prepared to be treated like a brood mare and are prepared for how he may be once he has the child that he wants then by all means carry on - I for one would not.

He's a nutter. Is he some sort of re-incarnation of Henry VIII, will he have your head chopped off if you can't provide him with his heir?

Next he will want a guarantee that the child will be a born perfect with no health conditions. He will be demanding you have a CVS, amnio etc. To much stress for someone who is hedging his bets.

Walk away walk away walk away.

No, actually, just RUN.

IMO, your thread titled says everything you need to know and encapsulates how wrong this all is.

"Hills >>>>>>>> that way"

yes, that about covers it.

Just read the thread and want to add my run like fuck to everybody elses. Honest love, dump this utter fuckpig.

Is he some sort of re-incarnation of Henry VIII

I so want OP to come back and tell us he's fat, rich and has syphilis ...

This is not normal.

How long does it take to move in together FFS?!

I would be having serious doubts about this!

Hm, I wasted my time on my romantic story about being a couple earlier. I should have just joined everyone else in shouting "run, run" as fast as you can from the sperminator.

I'd be running, frankly

It sounds as though the most important person to him is himself. He wants to have children more than he wants you so, if you do not become pregnant he won't move in with you. Nothing wrong with children being important, being a priority but you must be a priority, too. He does not sound remotely supportive, just very sure of what he wants.