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Original poster

Could you manage without your man?

71 replies

Pfer · 18/01/2006 08:40

Was talking to my friend the other day who's having a few prob.s with her DH and she's realised that if she slings him out she'll be just fine. Got me thinking... Could I get by without DH?

I love DH and wouldn't want to be without him but if anything crap happened, like me finding him with a younger prettier model (neither of which would be too tricky), and I kicked him out, how would I manage.

Answer - easily. Can earn own money (more than he does), better at managing home and kids, and lack of sex doesn't really bother me that much either. So, good job I love him eh?

I asked him if he could manage without me, he said no and listed the above reasons. Apparently makes him feel a bit inferior , that he needs me, but I don't need him. He doesn't realise that I do need him - he's my soul mate.

So, could you get by without your other half?

OP posts:
Enid · 18/01/2006 08:40

no way

Enid · 18/01/2006 08:40

have terrible fear he will die in car accident

kama · 18/01/2006 08:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Enid · 18/01/2006 08:42

on a practical level yes would cope although would sit in cold dark house through lack of lightbulbs and log fires.

emotionally would fall apart and would never find anyone else who would put up with me and is not emasculated by strong woman.

Original poster
Pfer · 18/01/2006 08:46

Enid, yes sorry, I meant on a practical level.

OP posts:
munz · 18/01/2006 08:52

erm, well yes and no, I do get by when he's away - and did for 6 months, pratically I can do things he can - painting bit of DIY etc but when the radiators broke or the washer did I was stuck and couldn't do it - I didn't appriciate how much he did till he was gone. financially i'd cope, emotionally 99% prob not, he's the strong one, the consistant one. I'd worry too much.

Bozza · 18/01/2006 08:59

Yes I would, but would hate to have to.

dejags · 18/01/2006 09:00

Snap Enid!

Practically I could manage
Emotionally I'd be a wreck

(btw - I have the same fear about the car accident).

WideWebWitch · 18/01/2006 09:02

We both could but wouldn't want to. I sincerely hope we don't have to either.

WideWebWitch · 18/01/2006 09:03

Oh practically I'd cope by paying someone to do the stuff he does but no-one could replace the emotional stuff, I've never met anyone like dh.

NotActuallyAMum · 18/01/2006 09:05

Another vote for certainly could but sincerely hope I won't have to

Squirrel3 · 18/01/2006 10:04

Yes, I could, I was a single Mum for 12 years before I met dp.

I wasn't interested in having a relationship at all when I met him as I was very happy and content being single.

He won me over over with funny text messages over two months, (I think I only agreed to a date with him in the end to shut him up) and here we are five years later, very happy and I wouldn't want to be without him.

Tinker · 18/01/2006 10:48

Easily, was single parent for 5 years before met him. Emotionally - well, yes, eventually. Have come through horrible break-ups before.

TambaTheDragonSlayer · 18/01/2006 10:51

No

He earns all the money in the house
He does more than half the housework/childcare
He makes me smile and laugh

I would be lost on all levels without him.

meggmoo · 18/01/2006 10:51

Oh God I thought I was the only idiot that feared the car crash thing!

moondog · 18/01/2006 10:52

Yes.Have done mostly for 5 years!
Would have to pay someone to come in and do manly stuff and maybe the financial stuff and paperwork (yawn..)
Having said that,wouldn't want to. He's my fave. person in the whole wide world.

TeddyRobinson · 18/01/2006 10:56

Yes, of course I could manage without him, but I'm glad that I don't have to.

alexsmum · 18/01/2006 10:59

no. he brings home all the bacon and pretty certain i couldn't earn enough to support us all and pay for childcare.
he's very hands on with the boys and does a massive chunk of the childcare.
he keeps me sane and grounded.
he does most of the diy!

ggglimpopo · 18/01/2006 11:00

Message withdrawn

SorenLorensen · 18/01/2006 11:01

Of course we could - we all could if we had no choice.

My uncle died at 36, leaving my auntie with two children aged 3 and 5. She fell apart initially but then she coped because she had to - she learned to drive, she managed the finances, she learned how to change lightbulbs and fuses and tyres. Her kids are grown-up now, both with good careers - and I suspect this is one of the hardest times since her dh died, because now she really is on her own

oliveoil · 18/01/2006 11:02

Yes, easily, I am very independent (too much sometimes). And some days I would like him to sod off!

But most of the time I wouldn't be without him, which describes most marriages imo.

onefootinthegravy · 18/01/2006 11:25

How weird Enid - I think about my dh dying - would I cope? again yes 'cos I would have to -but emotionally I'd be lost.
My dh is in the army, did a tour of Iraq last year, that was probaby the worst time of my life - 2 of his mates never came home, it made me realise home much I need him, I was a complete wreck for months.
We have our ups and downs like anyone, but he is my soul mate, I cannot imagine losing him.

expatinscotland · 18/01/2006 11:27

If he died? Well, I suppose I'd have to.

Bugsy2 · 18/01/2006 11:38

Yup, because I'm divorced! However, reading all the messages from people who would fall apart emotionally if their dh/dp died, I am filled with hope that one day I might find a partner who would really mean something to me! [wistful emoticon]

Roobie · 18/01/2006 11:51

On a practical level only I wouldn't miss him at all - I do virtually everything! On the other hand if I were to die he wouldn't have a clue about our finances, paperwork etc.

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