Not Fri but advice needed on sex question

[confusedfanjo]

Name changed for this. Can anyone shed some light on if it is possible for a man to get a sore throat from giving a woman oral sex? Dp has said that he often has a sore throat the next day after giving me oral sex . Is this possible? Could it be due to technique? He has also said that he can sometimes get an odour/taste of urine ? I always wash immediately before sex. I'm wondering if it is possible that I am leaking a bit of urine during the act (sorry tmi ) or is he being a bit squeamish? I would be far more experienced sexually than him and have never had any complaints before. From what he has said I don't think he has had much previous experience in the oral sex department. Help,, do I need to start kegel excercises or do I need to help him fine tune his technique or does he need to just stop being such a wuss?

I'll have to ask dh about the sore throat (I'm rolling my eyes here), but I'd be really hurt if he said things like that to me.

Nope, men dont get any, its the women ( if at all ) who get it if they swallow. He is probably turned off by your smell, why dont you try a flavoured eatable gel or something ? End of the day, you cant force him to lick you, you can only try and entice him.

Good luck hon.

I think that he is just making excuses really, just ask him - does he not want to give you oral? Because that's fine but don't make petty excuses which hurt you.

I'm sure your bits are totally fine.
Sounds like he doesn't want to get up close and personal with them, though. Shame he is concocting silly excuses and that these are affecting your self-esteem.

My ex didn't like oral sex. He rarely did it (maybe twice in 15 years) and he said it was disgusting and he thought the taste was horrible.

My current boyfriend has no such problems and is rather good at it.

It's not you, it's him. As everyone else has said, I'm sure you're fine and he's just making up excuses.

I'd say it's psychosomatic on his part op. A friend of mine had a bf once who maintained his willy always got red raw after sex with her and there was no medical explanation for it after getting checked out etc. Turns out he was a religious type who deep down thought sex was bad....

These things can be in the head sometimes.

Yep. Sounds like he just doesn't want to do it. So either you tell him that you realise that and so he's off the hook, or you put up with his pathetic whining.

have you got slight thrush ?
It may be that or he may be allergic to your juices . I used to have this problem with an ex. My throat would swell and get sore. Turned out he was diabetic and had thrush all be it but mildly.Doc suggested a treatment for the thrush and also some anti histamines just in case it was an allergy. never had a problem after that

At the risk of imparting TMI i sometimes wee a tiny drop when i come if its multiple orgasms, which when DH gives me oral it often is. I have actually once completely let go . Fortunately (or not) we were in a hotel, and it was shared oral and he managed to move his head out of the way .

It has to be said it isnt his favourite thing in the world, but he does do it because i love it so (not often enough in my opinion).

He has never complained of a smell or a sore throat though. I agree with the others who have said ask him if he actually enoys doing it. If he doesnt there are plenty of other things he can do instead .

Wow, thanks everyone. Didn't expect such an overwhelming response saying it was him and not me! I do suspect he has some issues about getting close and personal with the female fanjo. However in his favour, I think he is keen to overcome them. He is certainly very very happy with our sex life and keen to learn new techniques/experiment etc.

Dinkiedoo, no I definatly don't have thrush or any other infection.

Whore, laughed out loud reading that and so glad I'm not the only one imparting tmi .

Will tackle this again with him tonight as I'm a believer that anything left unsaid will fester and I certainly don't want to be taking this on as my issue if it's his and having my self esteem affected in the process iyswim.

You can not know if you have thrush or not. Very often you can have it and not have any symptoms.

Agree that he could be allergic. It is possible. Or perhaps he just genuinely doesn't like your smell, his taste and senses and not that you are unclean or smell badly in general.

Oral sex can cause sore throat if you have an infection, and maybe causing a smell too. I would get a check to put both your minds at rest. Many STIs are symptomless so you wouldn't necessarily know.

Tee thanks I have recently been tested for everything, thrush included and all clear.

perhaps he just has a lingering strep throat and straining himself a bit with the oral is making it flare up, or making him a bit dehydrated if he salivates a lot during the act.

lubey he is prone to throat infections so yes I am thinking this could be the case.

'salivates a lot during the act?' Ha ha ha, sounds like a rabid dog.

May you could encourage to have a gargle with some antiseptic mouthwash afterwards.

definetely gets dehydrated - have a glass of water by the bed!

I know but how else to put it some men.. um... well they just do :o

Confused I would put money on that being it.

I would like to know those men I think!!

enjoying reading some of the responses. It's all got me thinking though that something isn't quite right about it all. Not sure if it's lack of experience or technique on his part but I am definatly not getting the same pleasure from the act that I have done with previous partners. Will have to tease this out further with him

Something at last I am 'qualified' to talk about...

Sore throat - not experienced, but who knows.
Odour/taste of urine - quite possible and does happen. Him saying it, doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't like it either and at least you have a good enough relationship to talk about it. If he mentioned it as something that happens infrequently then I wouldn't worry about it - to be frank it's probably happened to all of us, we just don't mention it. If it's something that appears to be every time, then revert to advice from all the ladies I guess...
I repeat though - just because he said it, doesn't mean he's not keen.

Yes OP,
I have experienced this, I have often felt ENT infection type symptoms the day after giving oral sex to my wife, which I actually really enjoy, so it did not stop me.
At the time I was prone to regular throat infections and tonsillitis.
I have since had my tonsils removed and the problem seems to have rectified itself.

I don't think the odd "sense" of urine is unusual - it generally means someone is enjoying themselves. But it isn't unpleasant.
Also sore throat - I used to get this occasionally before DP. But I am prone to throat infections too. Got tested once after I noticed a pattern with one person but everything was OK.
Neither would put me off anyway because I love the vagine