Is this controlling or am I ultra-sensitive?

[SkinnyHead]

Been with my boyfriend around 4 months. 2 months after we met we spent one night at his house, duvet on the sofa, naked underneath snuggled up watching a movie. It was nice but the weather was warmer back then! A month or so later we did the same thing but the weather was freezing and I took some nightwear to wear under the duvet. He started whinging saying it wasn't the same and he didn't want me to wear anythinh now you can imagine the inpracticalities of going to toilet etc when naked in someone's living room when the temp in the rest of the house is something like 4 degrees. He said he'd put all the heating on etc and whinged and whinged so in the end I just gave in and didn't wear anything but I was quite annoyed at being pushed like this. Anywa I'm due to sleep tthere tonight too and he's already said about the duvet/sofa/movie set up. I know he'll start on about the nightwear again but you know what, it's -2 degrees outside, not the weather in my opinion for lounging around the house naked so I'm taking nightwear. I know he'll whinge and complain but ffs shouldn't it be my decision??? So am I being hyper sensitive or is he being overly controlling??

He is being a dick, and yes, it is controlling.

You wear what you want. End of.

controlling.

Your body, your choice. Tell him to stuff it. If he continues with the pressure tactics, consider the value of remaining in this relationship.

It's telling that you already know that he's going to be a whiny and pushy arse about this and are wasting precious mental energy preparing for it. Life's too short.

You enjoyed the cuddles too, but I can understand if you are cold. Although not hugely romantic, maybe if you keep some socks on while you are under the duvet and then have a big fluffy dressing gown by the side for when you get up to walk around?

poor guy, up for a super sexy evening, and presented with you in your wincyette!

unless he is like this about what you wear all the time I think you are being a bit OTT with the controlling accusations

I wouldn't bother going if I were you. Unless your dreams for the future include living in a freezing house with a bloke who lies about having the heating on and doesn't like you to be warm enough.

Quite, catsmamma. Because it's the OP's duty to be a sexbot on demand.

It sounds pretty damn annoying if nothing else. Whinging at someone until they do something isn't very attractive..

How on earth is it 'a sexy evening' if one partner is cold and uncomfortable with it

Catsmamma, if the 'poor guy' gave a shit about how she feels, he'd turn the heating up wouldn't he?

Sounds like he's been watching to many romantic movies to be honest, ones that it's all naked cuddling and perfect situations that make real life relationships slightly lack lustre by comparison?
If that's the only thing he's been like that about, I probably wouldn't call him controlling, just unrealistic put on your nightie if you like, he'll cope

The point is, I don't WANT to. Why should I be uncomfortable just because he says??

You shouldn't.

Thanks for the support guys, I knew it wasn't me! He really annoys me sometimes.

Of course you shouldn't be doing anything you don't want to do or that makes you feel uncomfortable. But 4 months in it should still be nice and exciting and wanting to make an effort for someone, even if that means wearing some nice underwear or a sexy nightie.

Teeb, or perhaps she could just wear what the hell she wants and what works for her?

OP, he is being bizarre IMO.

If it is this much trouble, this early on, it's just not worth your energy, git rid and move on. It just isn't going to get any better than this

Definately controlling, who the hell is he to tell you what to wear!

Yes Teeb because afterall, my only purpose at this stage of the relationship is to satisfy his sexual demands with no regards to my own comfort.

liking your replies Skinny, I have a feeling in my waters that Mr. Freezy Whinger may not remain your swain much longer...

He needs to pack this in and respect the fact that this is something you only want to do when it's warm enough, or every time you attempt to watch a movie together, one of you will have "won" and the other "lost". IMO.

I did say you shouldn't do something that made you feel uncomfortable. But if after 4 months you already feel as if he is controlling, or you have no desire to make any effort around him anymore then I don't really feel the relationship is going anywhere.

Controlling not good and if it is done by whingeing, even worse. Speak to him about it - ask him why he thinks controlling is acceptable. Also tell him that whingeing is childish. If he can't accept that being cold is uncomfortable, I am not sure how he would expect you to stay.

It's not that I'm not making the effort Teeb, it's about common sense. I mean, how many couples walk around the house naked in Northern England in January? I do make the effort, I had my hair done yesterday, I do my make-up before I go, I'm wearing my best skinny jeans to arrive in - but I really do draw the line at committing to a full night of discomfort just because he says so.

The whinging until you gave in is not a good sign. What will you do if there is a repeat performance? Hopefully, keep your jimjams on anyway and if he won't let it lie, go home... I'm not holding out much hope - have the taxi pre-booked!