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Original poster

Is this controlling or am I ultra-sensitive?

58 replies

SkinnyHead · 14/01/2012 16:26

Been with my boyfriend around 4 months. 2 months after we met we spent one night at his house, duvet on the sofa, naked underneath snuggled up watching a movie. It was nice but the weather was warmer back then! A month or so later we did the same thing but the weather was freezing and I took some nightwear to wear under the duvet. He started whinging saying it wasn't the same and he didn't want me to wear anythinh Hmm now you can imagine the inpracticalities of going to toilet etc when naked in someone's living room when the temp in the rest of the house is something like 4 degrees. He said he'd put all the heating on etc and whinged and whinged so in the end I just gave in and didn't wear anything but I was quite annoyed at being pushed like this. Anywa I'm due to sleep tthere tonight too and he's already said about the duvet/sofa/movie set up. I know he'll start on about the nightwear again but you know what, it's -2 degrees outside, not the weather in my opinion for lounging around the house naked so I'm taking nightwear. I know he'll whinge and complain but ffs shouldn't it be my decision??? So am I being hyper sensitive or is he being overly controlling??

OP posts:
something2say · 14/01/2012 16:51

I agree that it will be cold, you would want to wear something, you cam never really recreate a magical instance on command - and him whinging is not on.

Why not suggest you watch the movie snuggled up in clothes and then go to bed and get naked there??

But I must admit that being cold is one of my turn offs, and I would like to think any man who thinks I will be sleeping with him will care that I am cold and behave accordingly.

I'd be on the lookout for this one ending.

Original poster
SkinnyHead · 14/01/2012 16:53

I did tell him I'd take the clothes off at bedtime last time but not good enough apparently.

OP posts:
Leverette · 14/01/2012 16:59

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

something2say · 14/01/2012 17:05

Skinnyhead, well there you have it then, an impasse. You think this, he thinks that.

What next?

Be prepared! If you insist on not being naked, he may chuck a strop and then you'll have to a) leave b) stay and have a shit time or pander to him and start feeling sad that 'this is it'.

Make sure you have enough money on you to leave. Such a shame when it goes like this.

izzywhizzyswinterwarmer · 14/01/2012 17:07

Jeez, it has to be 25c+ before I strip off and wander around stark nekkid in my own home and, as there's no way my ch thermostat ever gets past 20c, my body stays fully clothed for most of the year in northern climes.

I wouldn't bother taking jammies - keep your skinny jeans on and let him freeze his bolleux off.

But there's something odd about this - watching movies while starkers in bed is one thing, but stripping off for an evening on the sofa? Not my scene at all. Is he a closet naturist?

garlicfrother · 14/01/2012 17:14

There is something odd about it, Izzy, I'm glad you said it first! It seems slightly rigid somehow - This Is What We Do, and OP being naked is part of "This". It wouldn't surprise me if his chilly little head is full of such fixed scenarios, in which his girlfriend (any girlfriend) is expected to play a set role.

That sort of thing doesn't leave much room for respecting people for who they are, never mind loving & caring about them.

Original poster
SkinnyHead · 14/01/2012 17:18

Yes there are many examples of him being rigid in his "this is how we do things now because that's how we did it that one time 4 months ago" rules. But if I start listing them now, I'll be accused of drip feeding!

OP posts:
Catsmamma · 14/01/2012 17:19

well hotdamnit's pretty clear what they both have in mind.....the quibble is pjs or not really, rather than the sex.
.....and whether or not he is a control freak who is too mean to put the bloody heating on.

i am not suggesting the op is a mere sex toy at all, so quite where you got that from I don't know.

Original poster
SkinnyHead · 14/01/2012 17:22

Oh yes sex will be on the agenda tonight as it's the 2nd saturday of the month, isn't it. It goes without saying really whether I feel like it or not

OP posts:
Original poster
SkinnyHead · 14/01/2012 17:23

God I'm so sorry, just realised how much of a narcky sod I'm coming across. My frustration is NOT directed at anyone here. I apologise for my nasty tone x

OP posts:
kodachrome · 14/01/2012 17:30

Oh dump him. If he's all rigid habits and whinges until you behave as he likes, four months in, I think you should set him free.

I'm sure you'll have people say he's probably ASD or something, and maybe he will have traits, but whinging 'til he gets his way is not acceptable whatever.

Catsmamma · 14/01/2012 17:37

skinny head you do seem a bit narky...are you due on dear??

...HUGEJOKE!

if he is a whinger ditch him really! It's simple, no one has to do anything they do not want to and if he is pressuring you then put him right.

if he just wants to revel in your gajuss nekkid form then that's hardly the crime of the century! and neither is you wanting to be warm, so make the tight git light the fire !

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 14/01/2012 17:42

God I would ditch him. It is NOT supposed to be hard work and annoying at this stage!

garlicfrother · 14/01/2012 17:46

IT'S NOT YOU. IT'S HIM.

lazarusb · 14/01/2012 17:48

Four months in? What effort does he make to make you happy OP?

something2say · 14/01/2012 18:04

May I just insert a chortle at 'bolleux.'

lol!!!!

OriginalJamie · 14/01/2012 18:19

Honestly, I've been with my DH for 25 years and nothing he does or says is annoying as this. At 4 months in, you don't have to stay with someone who whinges

OriginalJamie · 14/01/2012 18:20

.. and actually, it's not just annoying, as others have said. It is disrespectful/controlling/weird

WorriedBetty · 14/01/2012 18:27

Is he crazy? Pyjamas are sexy.. perhaps he is a nudist hahahaha

HellonHeels · 14/01/2012 18:32

Have you posted about him before? He sounds very inflexible. I dont really understand why you have to be naked to watch a film on the sofa. As for the sex, why do you feel you have to have sex if you don't want to? You DO NOT have to have sex unless you want it :(

OriginalJamie · 14/01/2012 19:04

yy - skinny - you don't have to have sex unless you want it

myfriendflicka · 14/01/2012 19:08

How old is he?

lagrandissima · 14/01/2012 19:13

Whinging. Ugh. Thought it was supposed to be time off from childcare for you.

solidgoldbrass · 14/01/2012 20:14

Why haven't you binned him already? I have a feeling I remember a previous thread about him being determined to have sex on you because he'd written 'Have sex on Skinnyhead' in his diary and therefore it Had To Happen. You've only been dating him for 4 months, is the sex that good? I wouldn't expect it to be if he's this much of a PITA about it. Just bin him. There are other men out there. Not all of whom are knobs.

jjgirl · 14/01/2012 20:34

Does he give the most fantastic oral sex ever? If so ditch him in a couple of months time. If not do it now.

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