If your DP messaged a young woman this -

[JonBovi]

If your DP/DH facebook messaged (in private) a young woman (20 years old) the message "get your 'cream' baps out ;-) lol" would you find it odd? This is a young woman he has been messaging on/off for a few weeks now, all in private. I only know because he keeps forgetting to log out and when I go to facebook (to log into my account) his is still automatically logged in.

I'd think he was playing away, sorry

I'd think he was a sad pervert.

Just to add, they work together, she works on bakery department, hence the reference to cream baps I assume but it makes me wonder what they're talking about at work for him to come home and send her that message! He has form for lying/sneaking btw so I'm not being paranoid unneccessarily

I would assume you had illegally married a fourteen year old boy with poor social skills. Or should that be 'skillz'?

A few weeks and you haven't confronted him?

So if he is still logged in, have you read other messages prior to this one?

Not appropriate.

He's got form? Oh, just fuck him off- you're wasting your time with him.

I'd think he's a bit of a sad perv, but not necessarily anything more to this woman than a joke. It's not exactly suave seduction is it?

He's fucking her. Or he hopes to.

Sorry.

I'd think he was a loser, and wonder how he'd managed to hide it so well before now. Then ask him why...

Yes I have read previous messages (and assume he hasn't deleted any). They're borderline in my opinion. She just seems young and daft (I don't mean that in a nasty way, just her main priority seems to be her playstation and I think she's enjoying DP's attention). He's the one that seems to be pushing it further but oh so subtly. I've not confronted him yet, no as there are no messages "bad enough" for me to whinge about really. It's just a feeling I'm getting.

subtle? cream baps?

That message is bad enough for you to "whinge" about. He is a tool.

She did reply yes, she replied with "I'm not at work today :P lol" He responded to that with "lucky you, I'm there 9-5, 10 hour shift :( " she has not replied to that.

I'd be having a word with him in the form of my foot in his arse before the hit it on his way out.

I would whinge.

What would you like us to say exactly?

Your partner has form for lying and sneaking.
He is sending private, flirtacious messages to a young female work colleague.

I wonder if his messages are welcome, I mean, she is 20 years old so presumably she can have her pick of single men her age. What makes him think she would be interested in an older man who is already taken? This could be a form of harrassment - "get your cream baps out" isn't just childish, it's also quite perverse and smacks of someone being very leering and letchy.

If he is stupid enough not to log out of his facebook and has already been caught out for lying, then he obviously doesn't give a shit about this relationship and isn't blessed with intelligence. Which makes me wonder why you would waste any more time and energy on this sort of man.

Confront him. Have a word with his work colleague to find out if his attention is unwanted (and if it is encourage her to file for sexual harrassment) and then whether or not you want to continue with such an immature, Benny Hill type character is entirely up to you, but don't you dare post on Mumsnet a few months down the line when he's at it again.

Why are you with this man? Do you have children together? Do you really want to be with someone who does this?

That message makes him look like a sad old man. If she makes a complaint about harrasment at work he could lose his job too.

So it's not just me then? thank god for that as sometimes I worry I am too paranoid. It just isn't appropriate though, is it. I'd never send a message with a "sexual undertone" to a random bloke I worked with. Picturing one bloke I do work with I could just imagine me sending him a message saying "get your 'long tool' out ;-) hehe" jesus christ he'd run a mile and would avoid me at all costs I would imagine!