Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

If your DP messaged a young woman this -

66 replies

JonBovi · 10/01/2012 19:46

If your DP/DH facebook messaged (in private) a young woman (20 years old) the message "get your 'cream' baps out ;-) lol" would you find it odd? This is a young woman he has been messaging on/off for a few weeks now, all in private. I only know because he keeps forgetting to log out and when I go to facebook (to log into my account) his is still automatically logged in.

OP posts:

Sariah · 10/01/2012 19:57

It would depend really on his normal form. Some people have a juvenile sense of humor (me) and would not mean anything by it. Its hardly the chat up line of the century. Still I would keep an eye on it.

BeerTricksP0tter · 10/01/2012 19:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PeppermintPasty · 10/01/2012 19:59

What chubfuddler said-he's screwing her or wants to. What a wanker. Subtle he ain't. I'd confront him right away. Cream pie in the chops at the very least.

Original poster

JonBovi · 10/01/2012 20:00

It is out of character for him, he is the most UNFLIRTING bloke you could imagine so it's not like he often goes around saying things like this. This is purely directed. It has to be.

OP posts:

Original poster

JonBovi · 10/01/2012 20:03

Another thing bothering me somewhat is that this is not the kind of message you would send randomly to someone is it? it has to have history to it. Therefore, it begs the question what ARE they talking about at work?

OP posts:

TheSecondComing · 10/01/2012 20:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheRhubarb · 10/01/2012 20:04

JonBovi - are you paranoid because he's told you that you are? Is that his way of covering up his lies, by getting you to think that you are paranoid?

It's a seedy message to send. Put that together with the previous private messages and his bad form and you'd be a complete fool not to take it seriously.

This isn't flirting, this is being a pervert. "Get your cream baps out" is not a flirtacious message, especially when you consider that it's being sent to a young woman. It's just pathetic.

I wonder if you will ever be able to trust this man? And why you have to question your own judgement? Do you not think you deserve someone who knows the meaning of the words 'honesty' and 'respect'?

TheRhubarb · 10/01/2012 20:07

I doubt he is cheating - yet. He clearly wants to however and if this is how he treats young women at work then I'd kick him out on his arse.

newbiedoobiedoo · 10/01/2012 20:14

hmmm....I'm in the minority obviously but I don't read much into this at all!

I would assume, given she works with him, in the bakery department, that it's an ongoing joke between them. Wouldn't he try to cover his tracks if he was up to anything? I would imagine that cheaters rarely forget to log out?!

It may be juvenile (in fact it IS juvenile!) but could be harmless? How old is he? He may not be flirtatious outside of work, but is there a chance that he acts this way in work, around everyone?

Of course, him having form would give me pause. What do you mean by 'form'?

RealityNeedsANamechange · 10/01/2012 20:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AllTheSevens · 10/01/2012 20:40

It reads as if he 'flirts' with her at work, asking about her 'cream baps'

jimswifein1964 · 10/01/2012 20:47

How is 9-5 a 10 hour shift??

Flanelle · 10/01/2012 21:07

Creeeeepy. Yuck. And gip.

Flanelle · 10/01/2012 21:08

newbie really really? You aren't OP's H are you?

Jasper · 10/01/2012 21:17

I'd bin him on his poor maths skills

CuriousMama · 10/01/2012 21:27

How old is he? I haven't read anywhere that your dp's old? Even so my dss (aged 11 and 14) wouldn't send such crap to anyone. So yes very immature.

Facebook and the like can cause sooo many problems. Not sure I could cope with this, I'd certainly have to quiz him.

SugarPasteVelociraptor · 10/01/2012 22:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SarahStratton · 10/01/2012 22:21

Ugh, he sounds repulsive.

SugarPasteVelociraptor · 10/01/2012 22:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Binfullofsiliconelimbsonthe45 · 10/01/2012 23:01

Next time he's on the computer cheerily ask him if he's finished grooming the young bakery staff so that you can log on and check his emails.

Chances are his cock will shrivel inside the pit of his stomach, like a marble. And never come out again. Problem solved.

Or,

If you had the guts, you could play him at his own game infront of every single man you come across on a daily basis. For example:
Telling his boss how much you love getting your lips round one of his big hot juicy sausage rolls.
Telling the milkman you look forward to gulping down pints of his creamy goodness.
Postman - can he fit his big package into your tiny slot?
Carpet fitter - does he mind getting on his knees and closely inspecting your weft.....

I think he'd get the embarrassingly obvious hint that anyone doing it would sound like an utter sad twunt.

Binfullofsiliconelimbsonthe45 · 10/01/2012 23:02

Sorry your emails, not his emails. You don't want to see those.

lisaro · 10/01/2012 23:11

And to carry on from Binfulls - tell him you won't be going near his cheesy chipolata again!!

padboz · 10/01/2012 23:21

therubarb

" but don't you dare post on Mumsnet a few months down the line when he's at it again."

I really didn't like the tone of this it looks like you cant see any greys against black and whites but what bothers me is that comes across as threatening to the OP which I am sure you didnt mean

Sausagesarenottheonlyfruit · 10/01/2012 23:28

Binfull

Tree surgeon- has he got a big chopper?
Carpenter- imagine getting your hands on his wood...
Dyno Rod guy-some jokes just write themselves don't they?

perfectstorm · 10/01/2012 23:30

I'd think he was crass, tasteless, crude... and stupid. It's bad enough that he is sexually propositioning other women (and yeah, he is) but to do it in such a moronic way is adding insult to injury. This is not subtle, and the only reason you are asking is he is making you feel paranoid and stupid to be suspicious. I suggest you google "gaslighting".

This creature is not a prize. You can do much better. Frankly, a vibrator would be better. You know where it's been, for a start. Do you genuinely want this nonsense to be your life? It is not normal, most men do not behave that way, and even those who do cheat usually display more class, frankly. "Cream baps..." my god, how pathetic.

Flip

1 2 3