Am I being really ungrateful about a present I received this Christmas?

[Chesting]

So have always "Gone on" to DP about Pandora bracelets. Only as a joke (which he knew) as I know full well he could never afford one and even if he did buy me one, I'd be frightened to wear it incase it got broken and could never afford the charms for it anyway. So whilst always saying silly stuff like "oh can't wait until I open my Pandora bracelet from you" I ALWAYS made it obvious I was joking and didn't really want one. He knew this.

Anyway this christmas came a surprise from him. A charm bracelet. Not a pandora one (as I said, I never really wanted a pandora one anyway and certainly wasn't expecting one) but a charm bracelet not the less. Now, he tried making out that this bracelet cost him quite a bit of money and that he put a lot of time and effort into choosing the beads for it and making it perfect etc. I did appreciate this and wore it New Years Eve. In a way i've been feeling a bit guilty about it as I'm unsure I want to continue the relationship much further and felt bad that he'd spent money and time on this gift.

However! he's accidently left his email on his laptop and I've seen that the bracelet itself cost him 99p off ebay. The charms were bought in bulk for £2.50 and the "extra special one" he claims to have chosen just for me was actually in a set of random mixed charms for £3.20. All of it from ebay.

Now I don't generally care about cost of stuff but this isn't what he was making out is it? He led me to believe this was a massive deal cost/money wise but it wasn't really, was it? Plus I noticed the charms were listed as "children's charms" which isn't exactly flattering either.

So am I being ungrateful or would this have you raise an eyebrow too?

I would have laughed and called him a tightarse

Well, you don't need to feel guilty now if you dump him do you

It sounds as though he's as unsure as you about the relationship!

Well, he probably felt a bit pushed into it, don't you think? Anyway it sounds like you've already decided this relationship has reached its natural end-point so it doesn't much matter. I'd just chalk it up to experience and move on. But repeatedly "joking" about wanting something expensive can be corrosive, even if you both claim you know it's a joke, it still can niggle a bit, and I suspect he felt he had to cover up having found something cheap.

Kinda think you got what you deserved there. Constantly rubbing it in his face that he can't afford something, even as a 'joke'?

If you really don't care about the cost of stuff, then how do you even know what Pandora bracelets are and how much they cost?

And why are you snooping on his laptop?

Tell him you want to buy another charm for the bracelet and ask him for details of the brand, which website to purchase from etc. Then watch him squirm...

Sound like you got what you deserved TBH!

As regards the joking - he did it to me too saying stuff like "when you buy me the iphone ..." etc. It was a mutual joke and to be honest I stopped doing it ages ago as I realised doing it near Christmas might make him do something silly like buy one on a credit card or something.

If he'd done it as a joke I wouldn't have been bothered but it's the way he was trying to pass it off as something "Not quite pandora but near enough".

I don't know whether to appreciated the effort or be insulted! To be honest it's like something a 7 year old would wear when she was trying to look like mum. It's "nice" but not exactly "adult jewellery" iyswim?

I don't know maybe I am being ungrateful but ever since we've been together he's presented me constantly with knock down gifts and cheap "bargains" and I'm starting to feel like I'm obviously not really worth that much.

C'mon - charm bracelets basically are for kids aren't they? My only exception to this is a friend I know who has mementoes to remember close bereavements on hers.

When I was a kid my parents used to gift each other fake (i.e. drawn in biro) lottery tickets and exotic holiday tickets and the like. It's all in fun.

Completely separate issue if you actually don't like him much!

But if he doesn't have much money how can he be expected to buy nice, quality jewellry. My DH isn't tight but left to his own devices would fail miserably at choosing jewellry!

For someone who claims she 'doesn't generally care about the cost of stuff', you seem to be a bit preoccupied with....the cost of stuff.

Like a few days before Christmas he walked in with a big bunch of flowers, I thought he'd actually put some effort into something and was really pleased before he put them on the side and there was a big sticker on the side of them saying "0.99p" - the shop he works in were going to chuck them. Yet again he made out it was a massive deal that he'd brought me some flowers home.

Cats - I didn't expect him to buy me any jewellery though, he knew that. I told him over and over again but then to buy something and make out he'd put loads of effort etc into it is a bit off imo!

Yank - it's not that I care about the cost of stuff, it's that ever since we've been together he's bought me nothing but bargain/about to be thrown away stuff. It gets to you after a bit.

Tell him you have lost it and need the receipt so you can claim on your house insurance and see what his reaction is.

Oh just dump him. There are obviously a whole heap of issues here - if he mattered to you then none of the flower/bracelet stuff would be that big a deal.

I think you either like the gift or you don't. How much it cost is irrelevant, unless you see your own value reflected in the price of the gift.

Okay, I'll rephrase. You seem to be a bit preoccupied with....stuff.

Have you never heard 'It's the thought that counts'?

Your DP thinks of you often and brings you gifts, what are you moaning about?

I suppose I'm just feeling pissed off that I've spent that past week or so feeling guilty over the fact that he'd finally gone out and put some effort into a gift for me only to realise I've been stupid, again.

Are you both broke?

If you are not both totally skint, and having to scrimp and save every penny, then yes I would find his behaviour off.

If you are broke, then is your behaviour making him feel he has to give you expensive presents when he really can't afford it.

BTW my Mum always warned me to not get involved with a man who was mean financially, which seems like good advice. (That didn't mean careful with money, but mean.)

Bluddy, I find the £5 roses in the supermarket look fab after a few days in water!