something weird on dhs phone

[Sarah67]

Last night dh went out for a drink with an old friend Mr H (who has never had a relationship in 45 years and still lives at home). Later on I picked up dhs phone to google something. Typed into google search box were the words "is my husband gay?". I asked dh what he had been googling that for and his first response was "I was wondering if Mr H was gay". I wasnt convinced and asked him why he had chosen the word "husband" in that case. His next response was "actually I was googling becasue I think you might be gay. We never have sex anymore etc etc etc..." . I was not particulalry convinced with this either, I am not gay and never have been. The words were "is my husband gay" not "is my wife gay". Why would he be searching that? It is just such an odd choice of words. Any ideas? I feel I dont know who the hell Im married to any more.

Do you think he is wondering if he is gay, or thinking he might appear to be gay then?

Are you sure he was with who he says. Because it doesn't make any sense?

Im wondering if hes having doubts about who he is sexually. perhaps hes concerned that you might pick up on his behaviour so googled it to see why someone would think their husbands gay IYSWIM...?

Does he think he is gay? Maybe he has realised that mr H s gy, and concerned that his friendship feelings towards mr h could be confused as gay feelings? Maybe he is trying to reassure himself? Has there been any other 'gay' signals?

what is his and mr Hs relationship like? are they close?

I'd say it autocompleted but as he admitted to typing it then it can't be.

I suspect he wasn't with who he said he was, but then why would someone else get hold of his phone and type that?

Maybe he wonders what the signs are for suspecting your husband is gay so that he knows to avoid them? That's still a huge leap though.

I google all sorts of things - recently was googling about toxic parents for a thread on here. I haven't got toxic parents. Just because its on google doesnt make it something that is actually happening.

Katisha that's true but wouldn't he just admit it if that was the case rather than making up a crap excuse?

Could Mr H be gay and fancy your husband, got hold of his phone when he was in the loo in the hope that you'd find what he'd searched for in an attempt to cause trouble between the two of you?

Just checked on my phone. If I type 'is my h' into google, the first thing autocorrect suggests 'is my husband gay'. So an easy mistake to make.

However your husband's changing excuses and explanations are really suspect in my opinion. .

Thank you for responses and interest.

Mr H and dh have been friends for 30 years. Mr H is a bit odd for sure. I thought he might be gay for a variety of reasons. Dh has NEVER done anything to suggest he might be gay, it was he last thing on my mind till yesterday. He is however very close to Mr H who lives 100 miles from us but makes fairly regular trips here to see dh. I never see him, they just arrange to meet at a pub or for a curry. Dh comes home and Mr H drives 100 miles back to his parents. That is quite odd isnt it? He never comes in to say "hello" to me and the kids.

Scarletforya, I am pretty sure he was with Mr H last night. Someone (presume Mr H) picked dh up and dropped him home later on. I shuold have looked out of the window but I had absolutely no concerns at the time. Just assumed it was Mr H.

First thing my auto correct suggested was is my house haunted, which for me would probably be a safer bet

Hmmm, of course there's nothing wrong with men being friends including if one of them happens to be gay but the fact that you're kept out of the equation is ringing a small alarm bell to me.

I have a friend who before her dh moved in with her he was housesharing with a gay man - they co-owned the house. The gay friend was hostile towards my friend from the get go, I don't know if that was possessiveness towards his ex housemate or jealousy because they were actually lovers secretly.

My friend's husband hasn't come out of the closet as far as I know. Yet. I strongly suspect him and his ex are having an affair and my gaydar is usually fairly accurate.

Mutt thats a good question. We have had sex about 3 times since dd3 was born (she is 4!). Our sex life just stopped and neitehr of us seemed bothered with kickstarting it . I have often wondered how dh gets his kicks (we were v v sexually active for the first few years and I assume he still has a sex drive even tho mine is somewhat diminished).

it wasn't the google but the change of answers that made me if nothing in it he would not have changed his story about who he thought was gay? Sounds like projection and blaming you now?

Like you say Mr H is not a husband and neither are you!
Does he go out a lot with Mr H? Sorry crossed my mind?
Can you ask a very close friend in RL who will be honest and confidential...'Do you think my husband is gay?'

So you don't have sex much anymore....is it partly him not interested that way?
You need to sit him down and say 'why type in google is my husband gay?...when he should have typed in wife?' do it when he least expects it spring it on him....if reaction to fast (rehearsed) or stumbling looking away from you no eye contact (trying to lie). You will know if he is lying hopefully! Ask to check his emails etc for piece of mind I guess...if he says yrbu you need to say 'not with that on your google search it is needed and if he denies access to emails well that is another thread!
I would be looking at SDI check for you both if you think he may be messing with anyone behind your back though!

what phone has your husband got? I typed in 'Is my h' into my Blackberry and 'In MY HEAD' 'My Heart' came up!

This is the first occasion in 13 years that I have ever had any reason to mistrust dh. We are extremely close and affectionate (despite being sexless) and tell each other everything. This has really shaken me. Fuck. I feel I dont know who dh is any more. We have 3 lovely children and run a business together. I dont want our marriage to end. I am scared if I dig, I will open a can of worms.

I'd demand to look at texts/emails now this second...if he refuses you then have your answer!

It is a long time for a man to go without sex is he depressed?
Mutt he projected straight onto OP....classic blame the other person when need to lie fast!
How did he seem after that with the phone Sarah? Was he very quiet? It's what he doesnt say you need to look for....his body language.

I get

Is my house haunted
Is my husband gay
Is my husband depressed
Is my husband an alcoholic - I accidentally clicked on that - now DH will probably think because he had one beer over Christmas I think he has a drink problem...

Can you check the phones history and see which links he followed from this google search? (internet phone ignoramus here)