The Brave Babes Battle Bus - New Year, New Start And With A Firm Resolution In Their Hearts.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse and I have an ever changing relationship with alcohol.

This is the Brave Babes Battle Bus, it's a support thread for those who feel their drinking habits are not what they should be, or even those of another.

Sober, drinking or somewhere in between, come take a seat.

And for those who would like to know where this all started, HERE is a link to the threads before this one.

Make THIS year THE year that you change your life, for the better.

Have a Happy New Year, full of memories to treasure, not to forget.

Hey Sunny - yes, it takes you aback a bit. You tend to find that if you've not had a drink for a good period of time, the toxins in the booze seem to hang around a lot longer, but it's actually more the case that you're no longer tolerating the booze. Sorry you felt rubbish.

Plenty of water will help flush the nasty left overs out. And some sleep. xx

Nemo is asleep after a very busy and emotional day, he was tired as soon as he got up so has spent a lot of the day whimpering, so I'm going to put him to bed, I won't be far behind him as I'm shattered and in pain so need to lie down.

Goodnight Brave Babes I hope that wherever you all are that you are safe and sound.

Thurso - I was worried about you actually so thank you for posting xx

hi all
looks like dinner out might be cancelled because we don't have enough money. My birthday is always a non=event as its in the middle of January which I understand but given the amount of time and money I spend on everyone elses, it makes me a bit sad.
Work has been so totally shit this week that I am completely exhausted - looking forward now to the new boss coming so he can deal with the shitheads.
indie is your job like systems thinking?

Ma

Checking in - had mad busy day but made it to the appt with GP . right behind me on the naltrexone - so I start tomorrow. E-mailed Dr Chick - all good there.

Mum ok but had small fall last night. not as strong as we thought. the family feud between siblings continues ...............

DD having tantrum/11 year old equivalent in front room - ffs - music exam - violin - frustration as not practised over christmas - blah blah blah

So sorry I am being no support at the moment

Just haven't got it in me

isinde you did ten fecking days my love - I would be bouncing off the ceiling if I had achieved that

knackered and off to bed.

first pill in the morning and I know I will probably feel very very nauseous for about a week and will not be able to sleep - side effects.....but worth it

bring it on.

Love you all Babes and atm I am taking and not giving - BUT as I get better I will be giving more

night Kids xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ma There is no reason not to celebrate your birthday just cos it's January. That's a feeble excuse imo. I have close rellies with birthdays very near to Christmas, either side and we always make a big fuss of them.

Would dh cook for you if you can't go out? I sometimes ask for little 'free' treats like having my car washed, etc. while I put my feet up with a box of chocolates.

Thurso my first full week back too and I'm pretty shattered as well. But, not drinking, sleeping well and eating healthy so doing ok.

It's quiet here tonight, everyone ok?

hey
i knew you would know the old timers would be back in january,
hey ho
im trying x

Silver Night night you mad, crazy, babe xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

One sunny - I feel your pain. I had not had a drink for a full week, and had just one glass of wine last night after dinner. I left some of it as well, and felt brilliant that I actually didn't want another. I am so relieved that I didn't, because I have felt grim all day, with a splitting headache. I wonder if you can suddenly become resistant to alcohol after a break? I hope so, because if it makes me feel this bad, my intake will be minimal in future. Hope you feel better tomorrow. My headache has only just begun to vanish, and it's not long until bed time. Damn that red wine!

Good luck with your treatment, Silver.

Sleep well Babes.

Thanks peeps

I'm out with friends tomorrow night - I can't really get out of it, but have my reasons prepared for staying sober (I'm going to tell people I'm on medication that I can't drink on). I know I can have a good evening without, because we're out dancing and I have never needed help to boogie.

I'm feeling better physically, but it'll be a lateish night because I've got 2 small essays to write - my deadline is tomorrow.

Night all x

Hello there

Just checking in. Had a hectic day so no time to catch up properly and respond as I would like. Idinde and others who have had a drink - don't beat yourself up, just clamber back on the bus and get back to the not drinking! You know you can do it (you've just done a load of days) so just do it again. Easy

Mouse hope you get a full night's sleep tonight and have less pain to deal with tomorrow. Let us know what happens with the complaint won't you? Idiots!

Well I'm on Day 11. Had a v busy day. A few triggers too. Would usually have been delighted that it had given me the perfect reason to down a bottle. I must admit I really fancied it. I still have half a bottle of my favourite sauvignon blanc in the fridge from New Year. I have no idea what it would taste like as I have never, ever had an opened bottle last more than a day or two . Anyway it's a test. Every time I go to the fridge the wine calls to me but every day I don't drink I gain real strength from knowing that I could have had one very easily. Aarrgh. Actually I'd better stop talking about it cos I want one now!!

Sleep well Brave Babes.

It'll taste like cat's piss after nearly 2 weeks, Silly. I'd dump it.

it's not that we don't celebrate it because its in january as in near Christmas. it's that we have to scrape by in january as it is, just to buy petrol and food so there isn't any spare for nice presents or meals out. dH has bought me things before and I've tried to show my grateful face, all the while thinking what it cost and how the hell we were going to manage. I'll get cards and a cake and lots of texts etc, so can't complain really. I got so much for christmas I really don't need anything else.

Maybe I should, OneSunny... Hope we're not distracting you from your essays...

Ma, I hate my birthdays, for just the reasons you gave. I hope you have a good day whatever you do. There are some great sales on at the moment. Maybe DH could get you a little something without it breaking the bank?? I always say (and mean) that I don't want DH to get me anything, but then I'm always disappointed when it comes to the big day. This year I will learn my lesson! Like you I spend ages making sure other people get cards on time, and nice presents for lots of people. So this year I would like a little something to open when it's my birthday. Anyway, I seem to have gone off on one...

As you were

The thing is though ma that knowing when your birthday is, he could put a little by each month and save up for it each year. That's the kind of thought and care you should be able to expect. I know you don't mind really, but that's not the point.

Anyway, you could say you don't want presents but you would like to chose how you spend the day. Starting with breakfast in bed. Alone.

SSSM I agree that you should pour it down the sink. Why put temptation right in front of you. Blimey girl, you do make life hard for yourself!

try how are you doing. nice to hear from you.

One essay down, one to go. I'm not distracted by the lovely people here, I'm distracting myself.

Hello all, been reading your thread and though I have been here before, I need some help. My 13 year old DD is even commenting on my drinking, I need to sort it. I hide alcohol bottles/cans from my DH all the time, even making extra trips to the recycling bins so he can't see what I have drunk. I don't drink spirits, which I think for a while let me convince myself have no problem. But I know that that is not really true.
Everynight I drink at least a 2 litre bottle of cider, usually with a little something else as the cider is not always enough.
I stay up late drinking after DH has gone to bed so that he does not see what I am drinking. Then am tired all the next day.
I get anxious at dinner time, waiting the for the last child to leave so that I can sneak a drink.
My parents both had strokes in their 50's, and it scares the shit out of me that my drinking could lead me down the same path (my dad is a big drinker and has been for as long as I can remember, my mum's drinking has been more over the past 10/15 years).
I love my kids and want to be there for them and their children. Why has that not stopped me drinking already?

Hi ciderdrinker,
Didn't want you to go unanswered. I couldn't stop for my daughter. I couldn't even stop when I knew I could lose my daughter. It was one of the things that taught me that I had lost control of my drinking, and I had lost all power of choice in drinking.
No one can say for you whether that is something you could say of yourself. I have learned that an alcoholic is someone who has lost the ability to control their drinking. There are some on this thread who can and do control it, and for who it is still a choice. And there are some including me who have crossed that line and will never get that control back.

Nothing I could do could stop me but fortunately, I found a solution that works, for me, which is AA. Others will come and explain what they have done. You've done the brave thing of admitting you have a problem. The question now is, what are you willing to do about it??

Hi to everyone else, am thinking of you often. Treatment is still going great, and am feeling positive.

Morning all

cider I would agree with everything that noteven said. If you promise yourself every day that you won't drink and then by the evening you break that promise, how will it be any different tomorrow. Or the next day. Next month, the rest of your life. You are in a cycle which many of us have been in. Nothing will change unless you change it. So instead of doing the same thing day in day out, do something different.

Well, you've posted here, that's different and putting it in writing probably helps you look at it from a different view. I would suggest going to an AA meeting. Also, make a commitment to post here every day if you can. Even if you are still drinking. (But I would suggest changing your name to a more positive one). Your GP may be able to help too.

The first steps have to come from you but you are not alone. Do you want to just not drink for one day? Today? You can do it if you want. We will hold your hand and help you get through the day.

noteven lovely to hear from you again and that your treatment is going well x

Today, babes, I will not be drinking (even though it's Friday ) x

Hey Cider Welcome aboard

Right took my first naltrexone at 7.00am - feeling a bit spaced out but otherwise ok......

Off to get Mum up and do breakfast after school run

More later

You are in the right place Cider - first and hardest step taken - keep posting x

Morning everyone

Hilarious things-going-wrong evening, and felt that at any point it was the time when I could have had a drink. But I didn't!!

It included DD2 going to hospital for steroids, DD1 throwing up ALL over the car, DD1 having diarrhoea again in my bed... No heating or hot water still... But NO BOOZE. And I woke up early and in work by 7.30. Feeling very proud of myself.

Morning cider I'm so glad you posted

HEllo noteven I am back. I thought about you so often and I am glad you are on the road to recovery.

On another thread someone posted this pretty motivational quote:

'We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit.'
Aristotle

Let's repeatedly NOT DRINK!

Morning all!

I know all about taking a horse to water yadaya and I know you have to want it to get it, but my fingers are itching to suggest those of you struggling to try AA.

I have never tried and stuck at anything except AA, it's not about will power and beating the booze, its a very simple programme of acceptance and self improvement that works.

There are other routes, but if you're sick and tired of feeling sick and tired, please try it.

Happy to answer via PM or post here your concerns; but it really is the simplest, least scary thing I've ever done in my life and it really works.

Morning all

Hi Cider. Welcome aboard! Noteven, Faire and Silver are v wise, and have given good advice, as always. I could have written what you did (apart from the cider bit - that's the ONE drink I can't touch, due to overdoing it slightly with Diamond White when I was a teenager, bleurrgghh!). Anyway, you've made the first step by posting here and properly questioning your drinking. Well done you. It's not easy. I remember worrying about having a stroke for the first time. It was shortly after Amy Winehouse had died . I was lying in bed after waking up in the middle of the night after drinking about a bottle and a half of wine. My heart was racing, sweat was pouring off me, and I had a throbbing headache. Even though I had been drinking like this for a while, I hadn't really thought that it could kill me. I was focusing more on the immediate consequences - the daily hangovers from hell. When I was lying there I thought that I deserved to die. Not in a beating myself up, guilt-fuelled way (that's a different essay!) but in a purely medical, statistical, logical kind of way. Drinking that much so often COULD kill me. Fact. And I'm 40. And I have three wonderful, wonderful children. And I was choosing to drink. I was risking leaving my children without their mum, for alcohol. Amy's death was a huge wake-up call for me. I think we all have our own 'lightbulb' moments. Maybe you've just had yours?

Like Faire said, you can do this if you want to. We all can. Stopping drinking or cutting down is really, really hard but the fantastic thing about it is that we have 100% control over it. There are no external factors that can FORCE us to drink. Certainly there are many situations/events that can trigger the urge to drink but if we can recognise those triggers and deal with them we are in a better place to be able to resist. Whilst it can feel overwhelming that we have 100% responsibility for whether or not we drink, it is also very empowering. For those of us who have had to deal with disease, illness, redundancy, abuse etc, the lack of control is one of the hardest things to deal with. Drinking or not drinking is just down to us! It's bloody hard work but we CAN do it. Remember that all these wonderful people on here who now abstain completely or have learned to control their drinking all started on Day 1. This could be your Day 1

Blimey this thread is brilliant. Just as I was thinking (last night, not this morning!) that I fancy a drink, I have reminded myself why I AM NOT GOING TO DRINK TONIGHT!!

Jeez if you've got this far you deserve a medal

Christi, wow, well done you! Now all that would have been a perfect 'excuse' to get bladdered! You must feel great this morning (presuming you're not ill anymore?) You got the boing?

HelpMeNow - Blimey if ever there's a person who needs to think about changing their name to something more appropriate it's you!! I've heard lots of people saying how wonderful AA is. It does sound like it must be a lifesaver for so many people

Noteven, really pleased your treatment is going well. Well done

siily I agree with all others who suggest pouring that bottle of wine away - it feels amazingly positive to do it. You've demonstrated willpower by not drinking it when it was there, now celebrate in true brave babes fashion by whooping and yelling and pouring it down the sink. I'd suggest however that you do it at a time when you are least likely to be tempted, then go out immediately and buy something wonderful and refreshing and non-alcoholic to replace it - Bottle Green's lemongrass and ginger in the fridge for me

noteven always glad to hear that you're doing better x

silver well done for being decisive and taking the naltrexone. You've got a lot on your plate, but good for you for deciding to do it now anyway - it would be so easy to find excuses to put it off.

christi you sound SO positive, despite all the crap that's going on, so lovely to read

isindie can I ask a question? I understand about your trip on Wednesday (been there so many times myself), and I suspect that you, and we, knew what was likely to happen, unless you really, really, really wanted it not to happen. But put Wednesday aside, what next? Was that your excuse to fall off the bus for a while? Do you put yourself under an intolerable amount of pressure by counting the days, getting to a peak and then crashing? Or was it a one day only - permission to drink, then get up and dust yourself off and have another bash at reaching 10 days, or 2 days or 50 days? Please don't slink away, come back loud and bold and have another shot.

Whadyerthink?

Just to clarify 2 things - when I say "I've been there so many times myself" I was referring to drinking on the way back from a tiring business meeting, not trips to Paris (or gay Paree ). Wouldn't want people to think I was a blase jet-setter.

Also when I say "have another shot" I didn't mean tequilla

Good name change helpyourself