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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My OH is being recalled to prison in 2hrs time - I reported him...

80 replies

vanillaskinnylatte · 30/12/2011 12:46

and feel awful about it now. I'm weakening and feel like calling his probation officer or the police to retract my statement. He has a month left on his licence so will serve that and then he will need to go to court after that in relation to the charge that I am currently bringing against him. He attacked me with a knife and threatened to kill me...and he was holding our 10mth old at the time.

Am I doing the right thing here? Sad

OP posts:
Solo · 10/01/2012 00:40

If you don't want him to phone you, ask for your number to be deleted from his allowed to contact numbers, then he won't be able to dial your number.
I'm actually not sure how you do this, but you could contact the prison he's in, ask for advice or maybe speak to their security department. It should be done very quickly I think (unless they've changed the way they do things).

cestlavielife · 10/01/2012 12:33

well done and stay strong - speak to womens aid locally about a support worker/counselling "post trauma" stuff.

ask SS about help with childcare they can prioritise your ds for nursery places etc

what will happen after february?

cestlavielife · 10/01/2012 12:34

ps any contact with ds could be done at contact centre afterwards, you dont need to be involved directly. dont agree to any face to face conctact with him, get support from womens aid legal advice if needed

mathanxiety · 10/01/2012 16:54

He is harassing you loads, with all those calls about the DS. He is just keeping you on a leash over the phone.

Please take Solo's advice. If they can't take your number off the list and I am very surprised your number is on his list, given the circumstances, stop answering the phone when he calls, tell him one time (and record it) that you do not want him to ever contact you in any way ever again, and then take out an injunction and protection order.

That 'TY for sending me back to jail' shows he is as far from remorse as he is from the moon. You have to cut contact completely with this man or he will kill you. You must take every step available to you to ensure he never goes near you again.

You must go to Women's Aid and do the Freedom Programme. Call 0800 2000 247. It's a good thing that you have family available to support you and you are doing so many things right here. Do not waver.

This man is in prison because he committed a crime, not because you chose to put him there.
He committed the crime when he was already on probation for another crime.
Obviously he is not taking any sort of hint here that the things he is doing are not allowed or acceptable.

You cannot control any element of this situation.
You can't control what he does, and nothing you have ever done, whether pleasing or not to him, has ever made any difference to the way he has treated you. If it wasn't you it would be someone else.
You can't control the course the wheels of justice take. Let the police and the courts do their thing and co-operate to the fullest. They do not want to end up having to take you to a morgue in a body bag.

mathanxiety · 11/01/2012 17:01

How are things today?

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