i think i spoiled christmas for everyone

[holstenlips]

XP and I split in July, my decision (due to lots of problems,mostly his drinking)
FF to now, and i invited him for Christmas as he is alone, we have DD together. He is now not drinking as much. The whole time he was here (last 2 days) felt weird, i have been miserable, kids have played up. He wants me back (i think) He has gone home today because i went to bed with youngest DC and he was just sat alone. I feel so guilty that i invited him and he has now gone home probably feeling even lonelier than he would have been in the first place. Im knackered, i did all the cooking,presents etc and am only 5 days post op ( i had an operation) so have been in pain etc. thats my only excuse. I text him sorry as he just left when i was sleeping. Do i need to cut off more from him as i know i wont want him back and maybe its not clear to him? I feel bad for snapping at the kids also when they were just playing, being overexcited etc. I feel so low right now. thanks for listening.

thank you so much redrosie.

Just one thing to mention holsten, did your operation involve aneasthesia? I've been advised in the past to expect a bit of depression after one as it has that side-effect. Not that you need anything else as cause to feel down with no sleep for 2 nights, a confusing X staying and all the normal stresses of Christmas with DCs!

'This is one moment/ But know that another/ Shall pierce you with a sudden painful joy.'

yes pickgo, was a GA. i feel very low and also jetlaggy so perhaps thats it. And thanks for that quote , wheres that from?

Maybe it is the GA then. Dr advised it takes days-weeks to work out of your system depending on how long you were under for.

Quote's from TS Eliot's Murder in the Cathedral, memorable innit.

Hope you are feeling better today and getting enough rest.

Im getting there thanks pickgo, going to get checked at gp tomorrow thank you so much x