I'm moving to my mums on Sunday (she's away til then so we can't go now) with DS (17mo). I'm 11 weeks pg, with PGP - unresolved from last time, quite disabling pain.
DH says I'm not fun any more. I disappointed him by not being 'on top of the housework' and wanting to 'see him all the time' after we had DS. He says he only slept with me the night I conceived the new DC because he was half asleep and wouldn't have if he'd been fully aware of himself.
I feel disgusting, fat, ugly, boring and rejected. I can't imagine a life where my beautiful DC's grow up never knowing what it's like to be with both parents. I am terrified of the future. I hate him so much for being such a shallow, selfish, childish prick. He's 28. We're not kids. Nobody pushed him into getting married and having children, he wanted to. Now I'm all alone, in pain, and I have no idea at all what I'm going to do or where I'm going to end up.
I just feel broken, and exhausted. I can't stop crying.
He says he still loves me? That he wants to be there and involved with the pregnancy and DS and wants to co-parent... he just doesn't want me. He doesn't fancy me. He wants to party with his friends, and get drunk and be on his own.
I just can't understand how this has happened to my life.