I think that all the replies - even mine, which may have been one of the "less gentle" ones are showing compassion. If we weren't bothered, worried and appalled by Skettle's (repeated, and worsening) story, we wouldn't take time out to post at all.
Skettle has posted several times before. She gives very detailed descriptions of how bad this man is - and admits it herself, yet in the next sentance, asks (again) if she's being unreasonable.
Given the fact she has now told us her children are being treated unreasonably, I, for one (and obviously I am not alone) am pulling my hair out wondering how I can get through to this woman. She has had a plethora of concerned, compassionate and thoughtful responses about this "man" to no avail ..... as kids are involved, I think the time has come to tell it like it is. Cruel to be kind and all that.
Tamz - I am absolutely appalled that you should have said "Sometimes we know a bloke's a sh*t but the prospect of having no adult male company at all is even worse." .....
.... Jeez, so women the world over should put up with "sh*t" lest they miss out on male company ???!!!! They should put up with being beaten/abused/bullied/belittled/cheated on/frightened/have their kids maltreated/their money stolen/and a 1001 other nasty things, because "male company" - of any sort - is the ultimate thing we should all be aspiring to no matter what.
I did allude to Skettle fearing being alone. I do know how it feels to be lonely/trapped/missing out/unloved/wondering if you're ever going to go out again etc. ...... I bet many of us do, especially single mums. But what is preferable FFS ? ...... putting up with all that for a time as an adult, or having some scumbag lowlife injure your child ?
How can there possibly be a choice in that situation?
Skettle, if you're reading this, I can assure you that no-one here wants anything but a happy ending for you here .... but that is dependant on how you value yourself, not upon another person, and particularly not upon someone who has made you consistently unhappy over the last few months.
What is your real life support system like ? Do you have friends / relatives close by who can support you through this ? I am sure that if they knew your story, they would also say all the same things we are saying here, but they would also ensure you weren't left alone, they'd come round to see you, give you a ring.
And I do actually know what I'm talking about. I had a brief relationship (marriage) in which I was (stupidly) deliberately conned, where the upshot was I lost my home. Long long story which I won't go into now but my world was turned upside down, my home, my job, my son, everything was affected. And after that, I was on my own for over a year, in a new location (forced upon me by what'd happened) and without any support from so-called friends and relatives (you find out who your friends are as they say). I spent 16 months, during which time I NEVER went out, apart from to work, where I had NO male company and generally life was sh*t. Not a pleasnt time, but it enabled me to do a lot of soulsearching about what I wanted, what I actually needed and what I would and wouldn't put up with if I had any future relationships. In that respect, the "break" did me good, though going through it wasn't pleasant - but it was necessary.
It's also necessary for you Skettle.