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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Advice desperately needed

6 replies

whenwillitend · 12/12/2011 18:16

My ex is basically evil, and radiates that. He tries to bully and threaten to get what he wants. I left him for hitting the kids too much.

Anyway in the last year hes paid maintenance about five times, not really been bothered about the kids welfare, and failed to take his ill child to hospital because he had somewhere better to be. He says he didn't know what a walk in centre is, but as hes taken the kidss there lots of times either he is a)too thick to take care of them or b)not interesteed enough.

HHes come round tonighht telling me he's taking the two eldest, and if I try to argue he will take action.

What can I do?

OP posts:
PieCherry · 12/12/2011 18:29

Call the police!

HoudiniHissy · 12/12/2011 18:30

Do you have proof, reports etc of his abuse of you? Do you have evidence of his violence towards the DC? If so then this will help you.

I'd say that this is yet another way of him trying to upset and manipulate you.

I'd go and get legal help, call WA, go and see the CAB and a solicitor and push for limiting contact to that only through a contact centre, supervised, due to his physical violence of his children.

he won't get residency of them, not in a million years, he is not the primary carer and he has abused them.

This is more mind games, don't rise to it. Smile and nod, smile and nod.

The worse they threaten, the calmer you have to be. It winds them up more Xmas Wink

PieCherry · 12/12/2011 18:30

Sorry thought you needed a quick answer 1st/ How old are the kids? Do you have residency, do you have any family or friends close by? Good luck, stay strong, and please let us know how you get on.
xxx

HoudiniHissy · 12/12/2011 18:31

oh yeah, AND that, call the police... report the bastard to every single authority known to mankind.

HoudiniHissy · 12/12/2011 18:32

Never forget love that YOU can and will say NO to whoever you wish to.

he is not the boss of you, he doesn't control you, you can say no to him and mean it. HE has to deal with that.

He has NO POWER, none, whatsoever. YOU DO.

Original poster
whenwillitend · 12/12/2011 19:55

Thanks for the replies, it means alot. I will contact a solicitor first thing tomorrow and arrange access through a contact centre.

Thanks again, I was panicking alot!

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