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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Surreal or what?

58 replies

fuzzynavel · 05/12/2011 14:59

Just ended a 2 year relationship on Sunday (sad but relieved).

What on earth do you think he was doing?

It went like this -

We went off for the weekend to see if we could maybe get back on some sort of even keel. Things had been shite for the past 6 months.

On the way home in the car after being woken very badly by him - stomping around, turning the telly on practically shining a light in my eyes he should have just waterboarded me and be done with it

I had decided enough was enough and told him that I needed a break so wanted my keys back and for him to get his stuff out of my house.

He told me that he couldn't collect stuff now but tomorrow. I said um no, I would pack it all up and he was to come and collect later.

Anyway, got indoors and he asked for a cup of tea before he left, I couldn't quite get my head round this so automatically made one (thinking he'd take it with him in the cab like he usually does). He then proceeded to sit down and read the paper - what the f...ing hell was he doing? I had to tell him that he needed to bloody vacate!

I'm sort of laughing about this today, what on earth did he think he was doing???????

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NatashaBee · 05/12/2011 15:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fuzzynavel · 05/12/2011 15:08

Doesn't it just, still can't get my head round it, what a plonker!

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HoudiniHissy · 05/12/2011 15:33

He is abusive.

YOU don't get the right to end the relationship. Only HE can do that.

he is ignoring what you say, because to him it is meaningless.

Don't engage with him on any level again, he will probably pester you, tell you he can't live without you blah blah blah, but it's all bollocks to reel you back in.

Ignore, delete, block and carry on with your life.

fuzzynavel · 05/12/2011 15:39

Do you know what, recon you're right there Houdini when I come to think about it. He was always negative about things. Very emotionally cold. If he upset me he always told me it was a joke.

Good Riddance to bad rubbish huh

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VeronicaSpeedwell · 05/12/2011 15:40

You are well rid. Enjoy!

fuzzynavel · 05/12/2011 15:48

Thanks Veronica, once I've found my barings again I certainly intend to Wine

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VeronicaSpeedwell · 05/12/2011 16:09

Good luck SmileWine

HoudiniHissy · 05/12/2011 16:49

www.drjoecarver.com/clients/49355/File/IdentifyingLosers.html Notice any other traits fuzzy?

izzywhizzysmincepies · 05/12/2011 17:00

You may have your work cut out finding 'barings' fuzzy, as I seem to recall that was the bank that was sunk by Nick Leeson Xmas Grin

HoudiniHissy · 05/12/2011 17:14

www.drjoecarver.com/clients/49355/File/IdentifyingLosers.html Notice any other traits fuzzy?

SuziQuattro · 05/12/2011 17:32

HH, you do make me laugh.

But not for the right reasons.

fuzzynavel · 05/12/2011 18:24

Blimey izzy, another loser ay. Grin

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fuzzynavel · 05/12/2011 18:27

Just clicked! that was a spelling mistake wasn't it izzy.... bearings, bearings bearings, etc. etc.

Laughing my head off here.

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fuzzynavel · 05/12/2011 18:39

Just looked through the thread you sent me Houdini an luckily I wasn't subjected to most of the horrid ones.

The man was far more "subtle"

He withheld affection.
He used to twist things round and make me feel guilty for kicking off about his behaviour.

Phew! managed to get out of that one didn't I.

Reading the many very sad abuse threads on here help me click everything into place far sooner than if I hadn't been on here, so a big unMner hug to all and a heart felt thanks.

Awww

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izzywhizzysmincepies · 05/12/2011 18:42

It's 'bearings' that keep wheels turning and some of them allegedly come with balls, fuzzy.

Seems to me you may think you're in need of finding yours, but I suspect you've got more of those round things than the knob you've just evicted.

You did remember to relieve him of your keys, didn't you Xmas Hmm

fuzzynavel · 05/12/2011 18:46

Oh and used to say he was joking when I was hurt.

There's probably more too isn't there.

I'm on a roll Grin

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fuzzynavel · 05/12/2011 18:47

First thing I did was make sure I had them, hang on let me check again in the drawer.

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fuzzynavel · 05/12/2011 18:48

Oh and he grabbed me and bruised me badly in an arguement once.

Gosh

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fuzzynavel · 05/12/2011 18:51

Yep, have keys.

Just goes to show you, I'm a rather feisty woman who saw herself as a "take no prisoners" type of person.

They try to trap you in such a subtle way don't they.

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fuzzynavel · 05/12/2011 19:03

He made me feel I was going mad. I even went and got ad's thinking it was me (apologies to all those who have loving partners and genuinely need them).

I did something this weekend suggested by a mumsnetter on another thread that I wrote in disguise of course. I detached, I sat back, I didn't react and watched him like a hawk. Low and behold the performance on Sunday.

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Anniegetyourgun · 05/12/2011 19:16

Had to re-read your 18:47:44 post; for a moment I thought you were checking whether your balls were in the drawer. So glad it's the keys! Though you seem to have found the balls as well!

fuzzynavel · 05/12/2011 20:40

yay, thank you annie. you posted on my anon thread and also helped me. Balls are definitely not in the drawer. Not sure they're on my person as that would just be weird. disclaimer to homodafrodites (wrong spelling im sure)Grin

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fuzzynavel · 05/12/2011 20:47

If anyone looks at this thread I was able to get away from Mr Arse because I'm nearly 50 now and possibly had alerts going on due to some form of age-wisdom thing. To all you young ones, and ones with baby's by the offender it must be sooo much harder for you. I don't have a home that he lords over me, I don't have a child by him. But, with the support of others YOU CAN do it, you really can.

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fuzzynavel · 05/12/2011 20:48
Grin
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fuzzynavel · 05/12/2011 21:01

Oh forgot the money one.... which is the biggest.

Told you I was on a roll Grin

The subtle ones pay the others lord it. It all leads to the same thing, reliance or pliance.

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