Found other womans dirty knickers in DH's bag.

[Stunnned]

Thats it really.

Today, needed the bag he usually uses for work. Unpacked all the stuff and odds and sods and unzipped the front zip pocket and there was a pair of black see through french knicker style knickers in there. They had definitely been worn.

They are in a size much smaller than me.

I told DH i had emptied his bag and put the contents in a carrier bag - "oh, including the womans dirty knickers". He didnt look shocked but said "what?" a womans dirty knickers??? etc etc. "Well that either means im cross dresser or im having an affair doesnt it? Well i can assure you im not either"

Did seem rather confused. Then started talking out loud to himself in the bathroom (never does this) that someone from work mustve put them in there "for a laugh".

What i am most stunned about is that im not really bothered by it. I sort of believe that its a prank. But even if it wasnt, im honestly not bothered. I do love DH alot, and have no complaints about him at all. I have had PND so its been tough for both of us.

We were getting ready for a day out and he was all set for a huge row and asked what we were going to do now. I just said "we are going out arent we?". He said he thought i might want to talk about it etc etc.

I just said i believe him and gave him a kiss. Didnt want to say i didnt care either way as it might offend him.

This isnt right is it?

really cant help but feel sorry for you having to go through this, good or bad reaction , it must be a bloody nightmare. do you not doubt him at all ? i really ant say how i would feel because it hasnt and i hope it never does happen to me .
hope everything works out and the person/s involved realise what a absolutly stupid thing to do . ruing a relationship especially where there is a child involved is sick no way funny and lets hope you can forgive them too big hugs you vvvvvery strong woman you xxxxxxxxxx

From your posts about your dh's reaction and conversations, I can quite believe he was being set up by his "mates" - he should just tell them that he loves his wife and that those kind of jokes aren't very funny as, unless they fess up, there is no way of proving his innocence to you and that you may never get this out of your mind, which, as you and him both said, could potentialy ruin your relationship and trust in the future. If they don't fess up, and he is telling the truth, he should just threaten to go to his boss and make a formal complaint (depends how upset you both are obviously - you could just try and put it behind you - with one eye open of course ). you know your dh best and probably know how he'd be if he was lying or witholding something from you - just go with your instinct.

wow you're sooo lucky to be in a relationship like that good luck to you both xx

I can beleive he's been set up too. Even from your first post i think his reaction sounded innocent, disbeleif rather than stuttering embarrasment.

I'm with the minority here who would have acted the same as you. I would beleive my dp. I do love my dp but i don't get jealous and he knows this, he could go for dinner with Angelina Jolie and i have complete faith in him and still wouldn't feel jealous (apart from the fact that he was having a night off maybe! ).
I remember a conversation a few years ago with my sisters both spitting feathers at their dp's looking at page 3 girls and i just thought 'WHY???'

Hope someone owns up to it

snowmangeliz (fab name , how did you come up with it?) I agree.
I am in the minority too. Perhaps we are not actually a minority it's just that those who WOULD get upset would be more inclined to speak out. I am not jealous at all and would be quite happy for dh to go backpacking with another woman so long as I was not expected to tag along and sleep in a tent or whatever.

Thanks everyone. I felt like i was unusual in reacting like this.

I have seen your thread jasper btw

If this was me, I'd have immediately thought it was some kind of prank - there are some men who just wouldn't play away and I know I'm married to one of them - it sounds like Stunnned is too. I know that people will post and say that you can never tell, and that they thought that, but I just know.

I find the "I'd cut it off, I'd throw him out, I'd pull his testicles off with piano wire" type posts quite disturbing, really and very over the top.

Stunnned, I hope that this is resolved - it sounds like you have a solid relationship and that your DH is as puzzled as you are. Would echo the poster who said that you should be careful he doesn't think you're not bothered because you don't care either way about him though - keep talking x x x x

Just saw this stunnned and I would have reacted just as you did. I immediately thought he was set up and it was quite a tasteless practical joke to do to someone. Good for you at not overreacting. I do think, as someone said earlier, that you should reassure your dh that it's not that you don't think he's attractive enought to have an affair, etc. as men can be more sensitive to our reactions than we think!

This rather reminds me of when a friend of mine got pregnant 3 months after her husband had a vasectomy. No one in our group of friends ever thought for a second that it wasn't his child. In fact, it would have never entered my mind to question it until my mother made a comment about it many months later. The child is, of course, definitely his, btw I guess what I'm trying to say is that we know them so well that it was obvious she would never have the inclination (or the time!) for an affair.

Thank you for your post hunker munker, and yours jabberwocky. I am starting to feel more and more "normal" about my reaction.

And more reassured about our relationship than ever. Indeed, i am a very lucky lady.

That's really nice to hear stunned

I said I would go ballistic - but only at the fact that it was there - not because I'd think DP had cheated because I know he wouldn't. And I'd definitely want to know who the tw*t was who put it there

This must be awful for you. I would be very upset too but would almost certainly think my dh had been set up. The fact that someone thought it was funny to potentially cause trouble would be the thing that would upset me.

Like you, we have a lot of trust between us and I would need convincing that he was lying to me -trusting soul that I am. I'm not really one for issuing dire threats of chopping things off either - I don't want to be in a relationship that even has to have that said. However, others have had their trust abused terribly in the past which understandably will make them more suspicious, so yes, I am lucky.

BUT - I would go to great lengths to find out who had done this. It's not funny and has thrown you off balance. How dare they do that do you. Sorry, total sense of homour failure on this. I wold be furious with anyone that thought that causing trouble in my marriage was some sort of joke and would reserve all chopping off threats and a few more besides, for them.

Really hope you sort this out and that you can put this behind you.

How are you doing Stunned?

Is this a record? 8 and a half year old resurrection?

God knows what he was searching for to find this one.