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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

DH has left

3 replies

Scaredandlost · 05/12/2011 08:39

My DH packed his bags yesterday and left. We argue a lot and just cant seem to get onto the same page. We have 18 years of bad water under the bridge.

I am swinging wildly between being angry, sad, confused (most of the time), wanting to beg him to stay with me and wanting to never see him again. He sent my ds3 a message to say that he would see him today so I am assuming he is coming round at some point. How do I deal with that? Do I ignore him, scream at him? I cant stand the thought of seeing him right now in case I collapse in a heap! Please help! Is this normal?

OP posts:

JaneBirkin · 05/12/2011 09:08

I'm really sorry this is happening however it sounds like part of a long process.

No, you shouldn't scream at him or ignore him - that never gets anyone anywhere.

You should try your best to listen, to talk and to understand each other. Easier said than done but what have you to lose, it's worth a try.

Have you got anyone close to you that could come round and be there in case he turns up? Just for a bit of moral support.

fiventhree · 05/12/2011 09:10

What about Relate or similar? It really did do for me what 5 years of rows, or talks, did not.

gemmummy · 05/12/2011 09:12

really sorry you are going through this but if I may give you 1 bit of advice? keep calm when he comes round, think of the effect on the kids if you don't. Get a pal round to be with you or if you need to say things and you don't think you can keep your cool, write it down? I am 6 weeks down the line from my split with DH and although it has been horrific, my DS aged 4 has never seen a cross word or raised voice. Thank heaven for small mercies cos what I really wanted to do was rip his dads cock off :-)

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