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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I need to confront my best friend - for me I think it's friendship over. (LONG)

61 replies

auburnlizzy78 · 30/11/2011 12:44

Just asking if her behaviour is as poor as I think it is and that I'm not about to end a 15 year friendship over nothing.

We have been friends since the sixth form, lived together for a bit, always had a laugh and been there for each other through the bad times (illness, bereavement, relationships etc). We live about 80 miles apart now but relationship always been rock solid and we have always called each other our best friend. She was chief BM at my wedding in 2007, I was at hers this year. I had my DS in October 2010, she has no kids yet.

I have had terrible PND arising from PTSD after the birth due to sleep deprivation and poor post natal care. Prescribed ADs in July 2011 - now recovering and feeling much brighter. She has followed it all via my status updates on FB (one of the main ways me and my old schoolmates and new mum/dad friends communicate and share war stories as it's not always easy these days to meet up!), I did not say I had PND but it was VERY obvious what a tough time we were having with the baby. She never ONCE emailed, texted or phoned to ask how I was. Other friends knew and I find it impossible that it would not have come up in conversation amongst the group. Instead we talked about her wedding - I ended up, despite being actually quite ill, organising two hen dos in two separate cities for her (and you know how much work they can be), taking the time to be there whenever she needed me for dress fittings, advice etc. I asked her if she was really busy with the wedding but she always said it was fine and there wasn't much to do. She went from telling me about the minutiae to telling me nothing at all, not telling me she was moving house until it came up when we were with a group of friends - we used to share everything. The wedding day itself was great and I plastered on a big smile but I was under terrible strain - by then I had actually told myself that I was just going to get through her wedding, and then planned to go away and commit suicide. June, July and parts of August were hell on earth and I don't know how I'm still here.

I did tell her I had been driven to consider suicide, later in September when we were talking about her SIL who had just had a baby and who I was worried about being treated crappily in hospital - I told her about my PTSD etc. No response. My son has recently been quite ill and I posted on FB about him being given an emergency nebuliser in hospital., ventolin etc. No response. I know she saw it because over the next couple of hours and days there were multiple posts about how she'd gone to Westfield and bought some fantastic purple shoes - finally, five days later when we all met up she finally asked how DS was.

In the meantime, despite my own problems, I have multiple examples of still being there myself for other friends, travelling three hours to visit their sick parents in hospital, giving gifts, sending texts. She's been "sooooo busy" - post after post about how TIRED she is rehearsing for her am dram dance shows, plenty of time to post and comment on other people's updates but absolute, very obvious, radio silence to anything I put up - even photos of my son. She has no fertility problems that we know of, they aren't trying for a child so it can't be anything to do with that?

The absolute last straw however has been her "shockened and saddened" outpourings after the recent death of Gary Speed, about how she wants to help highlight awareness of depression, we must be understanding of people with the condition, mustn't judge, must be there for them, how tragic, how we don't know what's going on in people's heads etc etc, and people purring back at her "beautifully put", "completely agree" - WHERE WAS SHE WHEN I NEEDED HER? Fucking nowhere. One post on the subject was irritating. Three in four days has had me about to put my computer through the window.

If you got to the end well done. Is this a friendship worth keeping? If I confront her it will never be the same again, but I can't just let it die away gradually with her carrying on in blissful ignorance.

OP posts:
marmiteandjam · 30/11/2011 12:50

Seems like the friendship may have run its course. I have several like that and it is sad but sometimes you find that you are at different points in your life. I'm not going to try and explain her behaviour by saying that "maybe she was too embarrassed/didn't know what to say to you" as frankly I do think that her behaviour stinks. However, she lives 80 miles away so you should be able to concentrate on strengenthing friendships with people who live closer to you who can offer support.

MooncupGoddess · 30/11/2011 12:58

Poor you. That is rubbish and it's hard to think of any excuse for her behaviour. If you make your feelings clear via a calm confrontation (or email) it's always possible she will apologise abjectly and try to mend her ways (some people are just very self-obsessed and need this pointing out to them). If she doesn't do that, though, I don't see how your friendship can survive.

fuzzynavel · 30/11/2011 13:01

Agree really with marmite. She's been caught up in getting married etc. which is a happy ocassion. I'm sorry you've been having a hard time but you sound so hostile, think I'd stay away from you too.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 30/11/2011 13:01

I think you have to tell her all this. If she's a true friend, it will put things back on track. If she responds badly/doesn't see why you are upset, then she's not a true friend, and you are better off without her.

I have depression, and had pnd three times, and I am very open and honest about my condition - sometimes you do just have to tell people the blunt truth. Maybe she honestly didn't realise how bad things were for you - perhaps your fb updates etc didn't make it as clear how bad things were as you thought they did, and maybe she will be horrified when she realises how deep the depression was, and how low you got - suicidal thoughts etc - and will, metaphorically, rush to your side. If she doesn't, then maybe she really is pretty self-absorbed and not a good friend - and will be no loss to you.

chrimblycompo · 30/11/2011 13:03

Well it's ot her fault you go up and down the country visiting sick relatives of friends is it?

you could have said 'no I can't manage to organise your hen do's'

did you ever ring her and tell her you were unwell?

bejeezus · 30/11/2011 13:16

you cant end a 15 year friendship based on postings on facebook fgs!!

SPEAK to the woman!

auburnlizzy78 · 30/11/2011 13:17

Fuzzy, I'm just very upset at someone I thought was my best friend. I am a bit shocked at you calling me hostile. Wouldn't you be?? My DH is also furious by her behaviour - and he's the most level headed and logical person I know.

Maybe I never laid on the line to her BECAUSE she was getting married and I wanted her to be happy and for it to be fun. Her hen nights were a distraction (although my DH told me at the time I was doing too much and should just tell her I wasn't up to it). But that was months ago now and her behaviour is no better. If it was then I could have excused it and put it down to the wedding. She was always super-casual about it, not a bridezilla type at all.

Maybe I'm feeling sorry for myself - but I put a lot of effort into my friendships, no matter how bad I feel I will NEVER let a friend down who needs me for something. And I didn't want to put her on the spot by ringing her and bawling down the phone. I didn't think I would have to. We always had a bond so great we could finish the other's sentences, I could always spot if she was unhappy/angry by just one tiny gesture of body language or tone of voice, and she was the same with me.

OP posts:
bejeezus · 30/11/2011 13:24

it turns my stomach when people detail their person stuff on facebook. It smacks of being a dramatic/ attention seeker IMO. I would probably be put off contacting you about your depression if this is how i found out about it

ALSO

I dip in and out of facebook, often missing pages and pages of 'news-feed' and I dont read back through it- so I would probably have missed alot of your updates

maybe either of these 2 scenarios apply?

Speak to her

chrimblycompo · 30/11/2011 13:26

We always had a bond so great we could finish the other's sentences, I could always spot if she was unhappy/angry by just one tiny gesture of body language or tone of voice, and she was the same with me.

but then you got partners and grew up

you don't stay the same you're whole life

her new husband probably finshes off her sentences now

auburnlizzy78 · 30/11/2011 13:33

Bejeezus

1 - No. My posts are more like "up 8 times with baby, when is it ever going to get easier??" or "tired and ill, poor DS not eating or sleeping." Interspersed with 25% non-baby stuff. My new mum and dad mates post in a similar vein and we all support each other. I also have a lot of old mates that have contacted me saying "LOVE your updates, you poor thing. They make me glad I don't have kids!" She would not have found out about my depression through public FB postings, only that I was a new mum finding it tough, which isn't controversial is it? Other than public posts there was the instant messaging conversation we had in September, and through plenty of face to face and via friends opportunities to figure out at least that something wasn't right, prior to that, well away from the computer. She just simply never noticed or never cared.

  1. She practically lives on facebook.
OP posts:
smallwhitecat · 30/11/2011 13:35

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TooEasilyTempted · 30/11/2011 13:35

I think if your friendship was as good as you thought it was, you would have felt able to telephone her and tell her how bad things were for you, rather than expecting her to glean all that from FB updates. I don't think she, or you, are really as good a friend as you both think you are and the friendship has definitely run its course.

And with regards to FB, I have to say I hid one friend's constant status updates of a similar nature to yours, as I just found them so extremely draining and depressing and tbh a bit attention seeking, like she'd post about her baby needing to be rushed to A&E, and part of me was thinking if it's that much of an emergency, how come you've got time to update FB Blush.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 30/11/2011 13:37

Lizzy - you need to say all this to her. Give her the chance to step up, and tell her how bad things really are for you. Best case, your best friend realises what you've been going through and things change so you are getting what you need from the friendship, and worst case, she responds badly or doesn't respond at all, and you lose the friendship - but at least you have given it one final chance.

fuzzynavel · 30/11/2011 13:42

OP, I do think that you're a bit of martyr and "expect" everyone to do what you consider right. If you don't get the reaction you're looking for then yes you do seem to get a tad too angry.

MooncupGoddess · 30/11/2011 13:43

Actually if she doesn't have kids yet you may be expecting a bit much from her - she probably thinks that if you have a baby then complaining about tiredness/stress etc is par for the course, and may not read between the lines.

auburnlizzy78 · 30/11/2011 13:45

SmallWhiteCat, TooEasilyTempted - yes, agree with all of that. It's a comment on the way we live these days I think, and, yes, it's sad. If it's not FB we use it's firing off quick texts - no one ever seems to phone each other for a chat these days in my age group anyway. It would almost be weird if we did? But we have met up multiple times in a group and been face to face this year, so maybe I'm over-egging the FB side of things.

I take your point completely, and have tried to restrict postings to once or twice a week rather than 3 or 4. Only posted about my poor DS because local friends were posting saying "haven't seen you or DS this week, are you all right?" and he had finally gone to sleep after the evening from hell at the hospital and I was trying to wind down/update everyone in one go rather than individual messages.

OP posts:
auburnlizzy78 · 30/11/2011 13:47

Fuzzy - yes, I accept that that's true, it is one of my failings.

OP posts:
fuzzynavel · 30/11/2011 13:51

OK op then you've sort of said in your own words that you are being rather unreasonable. Stop getting yourself in such a state. Don't expect her to pick up on how you would like her to act from FB entries.

Calm down and when in a better frame of mind give her a call and communicate properly.

I'm sure it's not intentional.

anothermum92 · 30/11/2011 13:56

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auburnlizzy78 · 30/11/2011 14:01

Ok, so I know it is unreasonable to expect her be a AAA gold star award winning Best Friend of All Time. Although she was, back in the day.

But it seems from other posters above she should have known and done more than she has, so I am not completely unreasonable about that. We have seen each other multiple times, outside of all the FB stuff. Is it unreasonable to want your best mate to text you occasionally? Actually, come to think of it, she has ignored several of mine recently - stuff that wasn't in the least bit depressing or about me and my woes at all, just texts as a way of saying hi and "checking in" with her.

OP posts:
fuzzynavel · 30/11/2011 14:03

I also want you to know OP I said what I said to you because it sounds a bit like how I can be.

Grin
bigeyes · 30/11/2011 14:06

Hi auburn well done for getting through what sounds like a hard time with PND. You know some friends are only good at the good times and cant deal with other stuff. I wouldnt want to keep her as a friend I think its ran its course and FB is FB and being ignored whether online, via text or face to face is not acceptable in a friendship.

I had PND and for me I found it a time when I learnt a lot about myself and you question what you doing where you going with life etc, so in the blackness of it all it can be a process where you evaluate stuff inc friendships. Dont be scared if you feel you want to leave aspects of past behind as you move forward - its a good time for a clear out when you are back on the up and feeling more calm and consistent.

I think a carefully worded email telling her how you feel, one which you take your time to draft and have a cooling off period before sending it, and then see what happens, make a decision on her repsonse, I think she deserves this chance at the most.

fuzzynavel · 30/11/2011 14:06

Auburn I really don't see why such a longstanding friendship has to end. Maybe it has to sit on the back burner for a while due to different big events in both of your lives.

If you cut her out of your life now, how would you feel in a few months, a year, 2 years. Very upset im guessing.

PosiesOfPoinsettia · 30/11/2011 14:07

You don't sound hostile, you sound gutted. She sounds horrid.

Adversecamber · 30/11/2011 14:09

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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