Just asking if her behaviour is as poor as I think it is and that I'm not about to end a 15 year friendship over nothing.
We have been friends since the sixth form, lived together for a bit, always had a laugh and been there for each other through the bad times (illness, bereavement, relationships etc). We live about 80 miles apart now but relationship always been rock solid and we have always called each other our best friend. She was chief BM at my wedding in 2007, I was at hers this year. I had my DS in October 2010, she has no kids yet.
I have had terrible PND arising from PTSD after the birth due to sleep deprivation and poor post natal care. Prescribed ADs in July 2011 - now recovering and feeling much brighter. She has followed it all via my status updates on FB (one of the main ways me and my old schoolmates and new mum/dad friends communicate and share war stories as it's not always easy these days to meet up!), I did not say I had PND but it was VERY obvious what a tough time we were having with the baby. She never ONCE emailed, texted or phoned to ask how I was. Other friends knew and I find it impossible that it would not have come up in conversation amongst the group. Instead we talked about her wedding - I ended up, despite being actually quite ill, organising two hen dos in two separate cities for her (and you know how much work they can be), taking the time to be there whenever she needed me for dress fittings, advice etc. I asked her if she was really busy with the wedding but she always said it was fine and there wasn't much to do. She went from telling me about the minutiae to telling me nothing at all, not telling me she was moving house until it came up when we were with a group of friends - we used to share everything. The wedding day itself was great and I plastered on a big smile but I was under terrible strain - by then I had actually told myself that I was just going to get through her wedding, and then planned to go away and commit suicide. June, July and parts of August were hell on earth and I don't know how I'm still here.
I did tell her I had been driven to consider suicide, later in September when we were talking about her SIL who had just had a baby and who I was worried about being treated crappily in hospital - I told her about my PTSD etc. No response. My son has recently been quite ill and I posted on FB about him being given an emergency nebuliser in hospital., ventolin etc. No response. I know she saw it because over the next couple of hours and days there were multiple posts about how she'd gone to Westfield and bought some fantastic purple shoes - finally, five days later when we all met up she finally asked how DS was.
In the meantime, despite my own problems, I have multiple examples of still being there myself for other friends, travelling three hours to visit their sick parents in hospital, giving gifts, sending texts. She's been "sooooo busy" - post after post about how TIRED she is rehearsing for her am dram dance shows, plenty of time to post and comment on other people's updates but absolute, very obvious, radio silence to anything I put up - even photos of my son. She has no fertility problems that we know of, they aren't trying for a child so it can't be anything to do with that?
The absolute last straw however has been her "shockened and saddened" outpourings after the recent death of Gary Speed, about how she wants to help highlight awareness of depression, we must be understanding of people with the condition, mustn't judge, must be there for them, how tragic, how we don't know what's going on in people's heads etc etc, and people purring back at her "beautifully put", "completely agree" - WHERE WAS SHE WHEN I NEEDED HER? Fucking nowhere. One post on the subject was irritating. Three in four days has had me about to put my computer through the window.
If you got to the end well done. Is this a friendship worth keeping? If I confront her it will never be the same again, but I can't just let it die away gradually with her carrying on in blissful ignorance.