would you think this odd or not???

[DelGirl]

seriously can't be bothered to namechange!

Am on POF, yes I know. I had an email from a guy a few days ago, very similar circumstances etc etc. A couple of emails in he said he has called off the search as I have really caught his attention. In his last email, he sent me his proper email address, i.e at hotmail.

I went onto POF just now and he has deleted his profile I think I can remember his address and would like to get in touch but wonder if this is a bit ott on his part? Seriously out of the loop for a long time and have no idea lol. If he is genuine it could be a great friendship if nothing else.

nb: as his profile is deleted it deletes their messages too

lol, I have emailed what I hope is the right address and will take it from there but seems a bit, I dunno. You would never believe the circumstances, hard to believe myself really

I guess he could be having second thoughts after claiming that lol but I get the feeling not. It's an easy address though maybe one letter or another iykwim and it was in capitals in the subject line lol. Could be a complete nutter

oh and good morning to you, very sunny here too

briefly as got to go out. We are both (apparently) widowed, me with a 6 yr dd and him with an 8 yr dd, we both live in the same foreign country about 60 miles apart. Same interests etc etc thats why a friendship would be good not least for the dds.

Be very careful. I do not want to alarm you but my mother had a very upsetting experience. Same thing - man took off his details from his profile and they had so much in common. He was a methodist, just like her...etc. It all got very intense, very early...he asked her to go on MSN. He sent a picture of himself in army uniform...an American soldier two weeks from retirement.

Sadly, I suspected something and googled his name - it came up as a Nigerian scam....where pictures of American soldiers are used to reel in widows, then fleece them for money.

I hope I wrong and he is a lovely man...but seeing my mother hurt, I would not like to see it happen to someone else..

thanks for the tip off, much appreciated, funnily enough he is American though an Architect,again, apparently. I don't think i'm a pushover (not saying your mum was either) but very guarded over dds financial future being a lone parent an'all.

They do play a long game and they are very good at echoing your circumstances. Their children will be similar ages, they will have similar interests etc.

This is quite a good site for detection:

www.romancescam.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=20261

But wishing you a GOOD MAN and happiness. For once, I want to be wrong!

Alarm bells and red flags all over this for me.

If something seems too good to be true, it usually is.

have looked at that site and can't find anything though thats not to say its not a scam and I will keep my wits about me.

Anothermum, yes that's what I thought!

Bizarrely (sp) my ipod dock has just switched itself on by itself, dd swears it wasn't her and Michael Buble song 'Just haven't met you yet' played . I believe in signs, especially from late dh, sorry if thats a bit woo but not sure what that one means!!!!!!

If you're looking for 'signs' I would take that one to mean that, although you haven't met in person, you have 'met' Mr Allegedly Same Situation As You through the medium of the internet.

In other words, there is someone else out there that you haven't yet met and you should leave your options open so that they can make an appearance in your life.

Yes, definitely leaving all options open. I don't really look for signs, they just happen/appear. Yes, that 'sign' could either mean, you've not crossed paths at all yet or that i've not met this one yet and he is promising. Gawd, boring myself now lol! I am in touch with someone else and not met him yet either but he seems genuine and we chat on skype but not sure that he will be more than a nice friend to have. He has serenaded me with his guitar!!!! awww

be careful also that people use these kind of sites to get close to single women with kids, as a way to reach the kids

awful but true

There's lots of experience of internet dating on this board. This thread is current: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1343682-I-just-WISH-I-could-find-someone-worthy-of-a-proper-relationship-instead-of-a-long-stream-of-fuckwits-Dating-chat-6

Keep your options open and keep an open mind because finding a good catch on the net may involve fishing in shark-infested seas.

Do please come back with an update if/when you meet the alleged 'American architect'.

...has he replied??

yes I know that too whataboutmememe, sad world we live in!

I will update you. I have been on my own for a long time and certainly not expecting to fall head over heels. Am quite happy being on my own and not desperate for a full on in your face relationship as it were just would be nice to have company now and again

When you think back, can you remember if he provided personal informaiton first i.e. widowed and dd being 8 years old? Or whether you offered the info first and then he added his personal details?

For some reason, the fact that he is an architect rang bells for me. It just seems so cliched how perfect he is. Classic good solid profession, similar backgrounds but now the mysterious disappearance.

Pursue safely if you are curious, but try not to get excited. I am highly skeptical
xx

He emailed me a few days ago, I didn't contact him first. His profile showed he was widowed and his description was well written but not 100% scripted iykwim and it mentions his daughter in it. Funnily enough I would have expected to see something about why he lives where he does but it could be that he has been here for years so no reason to mention it. Anyway, time will tell. I've not lost anything if he doesn't get in touch as he wasn't genuine to start with. Back to the drawing board. Have had loads of emails over the last couple of months (not boasting honest) but only ever replied to this one and the guitar bloke.

I think you should get off POF and start meeting real men in real life and going from there. Seriously. You're doing a lot of magical thinking about this...signs, no way, and you barely know these guys. Please stop believing in magic. It doesn't happen like that.

Meet someone real even if you have to wait a while, and get to kNOW them properly before you even think about dating them.

please don't give so much information out about yourself, such as the fact you're widowed...you don't have to tell anyone this immediately.

Keep your cards close to your chest.

I bet it is the widow scam. I'm really sorry, but you do sound so lonely and willing to try anything to get friends or more...if you want or need people to trust, but haven't got there yet with your RL friends, don't just decide to trust a load of strangers. That makes no sense.

Think on't and keep safe x

The job fits with where he supposedly lives as there would be alot of work for him there at the moment. I guess one for the tick positive box......

yeah er thanks Jane!