husband had affair

[mumwife]

husband of 7 years had an affair which i forgave him for as i love him. we tried to see why, things hadnt been great for a while buthe said he would give us 100%, i wasnt going to lose him and we went away we spent time togethre we started thinking of us and we had fun we were doing ok. now hes saying he needs space he doesnt know if hes in love with me anymore, he says he is going after christmas and needs to think if we are worth saving! im falling to pieces dont know what to do!!!!!!!!!!

hi im ok goingto see my councellor today.
wont be moving out with the kids im staying here.
his other woman text me to say he is weak man that is why she can take him from me, she doesnt really want him i suppose he is her escape route and when she has escaped she will leave him. stupid man that he is cant see it.
i havent answered her text.

thankyou for asking xxxx

husband just said he doesnt believe her text ? its me making it up! sent it to his phone and he still says its me! sent one to her telling her to leave us alone.

Yep, it's a classic

This man will end up with nothing

Good

Don't have any pity for him, OP, proceed with your plans to get shut of him

What a sorry excuse for a man he is.

He will end up with nothing and when he does, he will plead/beg/emotionally blackmail you into taking him back. Be ready for that.

There are tough times ahead, no doubt, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel for you and you will look back on this and think "thank fuck he's gone".

Thank god you aren't doing his washing, cooking his tea etc. Whatever you do, don't start doing it again.

Good luck OP, wishing you everything you need for 2012

oh yes, indeed

very soon he will become a "broken man" at how awfully he has treated you, will come crawling back with his dick tail between his legs, begging you to give him another chance (when the OW gets sick of him....sounds like that is nicely underway)

All of the above, and for heaven's sake, change your mobile number - stop that OW (mutters several names under breath, all of which would have me BANNED) from contacting you.

How bloody DARE she? Fucking your H AND tormenting you?

Get him OUT of your house, by fair means or foul, and bin the PAIR of them.

I promise you love, your life will only get better and better and better once you are rid of such an entitled, vile and genuinely manipulative little man.

Stop engaging with the PAIR of them. Leave them to the car crash that will rapidly become their lives. You are worth a trillion of them. Rise above them!

EVERYTHING Houdini said. Get shot of him now, this has gone on long enough.

thank you ladies xx
he has obviously been snoopping in my bag and found my solicitors letter he was not a happy bunny!!!!lol
says he will go when he has been to his solicitor.....
wish i could get shot of him but he wont budge!!

Pack his bags and dump them on her doorstep.

Or at his office.

That is that. He lost the right to steal your oxygen the day he shagged someone else.

she is in oz at the mo and lives in brighton too far away too dump his bags im afraid and not at his office either as he works from home!!

oh crap. The front door step/garage or local travel lodge would be a next bet..

lol

Hi mumwife,
just caught up with thread. Just want to say I think you are being very strong.
Technically you cannot change locks if name is on mortgage... but I did & no repercussions so far. He can only come in if gives me 48 hours notice... & strangely never bothered.
Going no contact is the best thing you can do for yourself. It is so much easier not to get drawn into slanging matches,overthinking conversations etc. I told my STBXH to leave to think things over. 6 months later, still living with parents & presumably planning to moving in with OW soon. Frankly I no longer know or care what he's doing, I am thinking of myself & DS only.
Please do not think about his feelings at all (for he never thought of yours!), do what you must to make things good for you.
Keep posting, you will get v good advice .
x

Mumwife - try and lock your personal stuff (that H shouldn't read) away so that he has no access. Glad you're sounding much more positive - wiseoldowl changed her locks - would you consider doing that? difficult one - does H have friends or relatives where he can stay? how are your DC? Stay strong and keep going - it will get better x

happy new year to you all xxxxxxxxxx and thankyou for all your advice xxxxxxxxxx

What counting says, they want to be seen (ironically) as honourable, and although they haven't thought twice about being dishonourable to you, in the heat of the moment they have made promises/declarations to OW and don't want to be seen as breaking those promises.

A man told me that.

What wiseowl says too. Going no contact is for YOU, stops YOU being hurt. Do not try to engage with this currently insane, selfish man who cares about someone else. It will only hurt YOU. Try and reduce the scar tissue on your heart as much as you can.

And again - who cares what the law says about locks - change 'em. Its funny how they break the rules and we keep on following them. I enabled my H bad behaviour for months. Well, longer than that. Looking back I am now furious with what I went along with. If you change the locks, your H will than have to go to the law to have you change 'em back. Explaining his behaviour in front of others is what these Tiggers do worst.

How are you MumWife? Happy New Year to you too x

im off out on a date!!!! lol

wow

Tell us more...please
But in the meantime..be good

Date went well.. but husband was babysitting and he decided that night that he wanted to give us another go!!!!!!!!!!

Hope you told the jealous ex just where to go and how to get there....

Glad the date went well...will there be another [nosey emotion]

Of course he said that.

Glad you sound happier.